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“Failure is not final.  – Ryan Horn

EPISODE OVERVIEW: 

Did you hear the one about the guy that went from living on his aunts coach and working 12-hour shifts at a metal factory to building his own company and becoming a successful business coach? You know, the one where a single professional brainstorming session changed his life for ever.

This weeks guest not only shares his remarkable life journey, but shares with us how we can identify what good coaching is, what personal disciplines we need in our life to grow, and so much more. He teaches us how to be successful, not just in the professional realm, but in our personal realm as well. Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to the Ryan Horn story!

 

GUEST BIO: 

Ryan Horn went from broke and working 12 hour night shifts at a metal factory while sleeping on his aunt’s couch to becoming an award-winning entrepreneur, peak performance coach, in demand speaker and top-rated podcast host. His proprietary 5 Step Business Breakthrough framework has helped thousands of men around the world transform their business and life.

He is a dynamic speaker and has shared the stage with world class leaders like Jack Canfield, James Malinchak and Nick Unsworth. He has been honored as a Kingdom Impact Award Winner and has been interviewed on many top podcasts and featured in various media outlets. Ryan’s mission is to help men maximize their potential and become the Extraordinary Man they were created to be.

 

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SHOW NOTES:

Guest Info:

  • https://www.coachryanhorn.com
  • https://extmanpodcast.com/
  • https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomeaking

 

Special Offer(s):

 

Resources Mentioned: 

  • The Education of Millionaires book

 

Core Themes, Keywords, & Mentions: 

  • Perseverance, academic all-state, gratefulness, thankfulness, goals, drive, natural talent, hard work, work hard, goal setting, goal achievement, clarity, commitment, coaching, courageous action, course direction, adjustments, smart goals, the wrong crowd, entrepreneurship, marketing, sales, made for more, feeling sorry for myself, painful situations, self development, person development, personal habits, mindset, powerful decisions, hiring a coach, what to look for in a good business coach, spiritual growth, church, repetition, IRS seizure, tithing, debt, building your business,

 

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THE NOT-SO-FINE-PRINT DISCLAIMER: 


While we are very thankful for all of our guests, please understand that we do not necessarily hold or endorse the same beliefs, views, and positions that they may have. We respectfully agree to disagree in some areas, and thank God for the blessing and privilege of free will.


Full Episode Transcript

Hello friends. Welcome to this week’s remarkable episode of the podcast, the Ryan Horn story this week, Ryan talks to us about perseverance building your business yourself, even how to find a coach. And he does it by sharing his remarkable story of going from living on his aunt’s couch. Working 12 hour shifts at a metal [00:01:00] factory to how one.

In person, brainstorming session changed his life. How we can identify what good coaching is, what personal discipline do we need in our life and so much more so we can grow as people. Be successful, not just in the professional realm, but in our personal realm as well. We talk about how Ryan met his wife.

We talk about his early days and his goal setting and a whole bunch more in this episode. So get out your pen and paper, be ready to take notes, but more than anything, apply them to your life. So we can hear your remarkable story soon. So at this time, ladies and gentle. Enjoy the Ryan Horn story.

 

Ryan Horn | Perseverance: Building Your Business, Yourself, & What to Look for in a Coach

Here we go. Hey Ryan, how are you today, brother? I am doing awesome. David, thanks for having me on the show. Oh my pleasure. I am excited. You and I have [00:02:00] talked a little bit in the past in conversations.

We were on some podcasts together, your podcast, which we’ll hear about in the story, but at this time I just prepped our listeners about what to expect in this episode. So man, let’s just dig into your story, your life, your journey, and what you’ve learned along the way that we can all glean from and grow in our lives.

And then we’ll transition into the end. Where is Ryan today and where are you heading? So hopefully we can help you get there. Sound good? Sounds awesome. Yeah, I’m excited. Oh, me too, man. So let’s do this. I wanna start off, we’re gonna start off in your childhood, but for our listeners, new listeners, the whole show is about growth.

And we’re gonna talk about a lot of things and Ryan’s gonna share a lot of gold along the way in a bunch of areas. But Ryan, if you had one overarching passion that you wanted to share with the audience, what are they [00:03:00] gonna learn today as they listen to your episode? That is a great question. I think the one thing that they’re gonna learn from the stories that I tell is the perseverance perseverance.

It’s, you know, I was thinking about some of the stories I was gonna tell and how I was gonna tell ’em and I think that’s the thing that you’re gonna see time and time again. Awesome. Then let’s do this our past doesn’t. Define our future, but it definitely shapes who we are unless we take direct action.

Right. So where was Ryan born? What was your home like your upbringing and we’ll just move chronologically through your life. Yeah, absolutely. So born and raised in Northern Minnesota, small little town. And when I say small as 300 people but I had a great childhood. I, I loved it. So four brothers, I have two older brothers, two younger brothers.

Both sets of grandparents lived close by. So I spent a lot of time with them. They were both on farms. But loved my childhood for me. You know, I was [00:04:00] always, always outside. always outside and always always playing sports, especially with four brothers. Right. And loved my childhood. Sports, like I said, was, was huge for me.

So I started playing basketball competitively in third grade, played that all throughout high school football in seventh grade, played that all throughout high school. And I think that kind of goes along with the first story I want to talk about. So when I was in sixth grade, I remember I was at a, a varsity basketball game and I was there watching it and I was walking the halls to our old school.

There were trophy cases. And so I was kind of looking at it and I saw that there were a couple plaques in there with people’s pictures. And it was for academic Allstate for different sports. One was for football. And I remember seeing that and, and it just hit me. And I was like, man, I want one of those.

I want to have a plaque like that. Like I want to be in this trophy case with a plaque like that. And [00:05:00] one of the reasons I think I wanted it is because I wanted to be a great athlete, but I didn’t want to be known as like the dumb jock, the stereotype. Right. So I was like, well, if I’m academic, I’ll say that means you’re smart and you’re good at sports.

And so I didn’t realize that at the time, but I think that really planted a seed in me and subconsciously where like I wanted to do everything I could to get that. And so I did really well in school. I got straight as. And did well in sports too, but when I was a, a junior playing football I had a bit of a setback, so I was not a starter.

I was a backup and I think it was, I played running back. I think it was the second or third game of the year. And we were like crushing this team. So I was in playing and it was, I think it was right before halftime and I was basically gonna play the rest of the rest of the game. And so I was like, okay, this is my chance to show the coaches that I should be playing more and all this.

And I was doing really well. I think it was in the third quarter. I still [00:06:00] remember the play even it was 32 traps, so I take the handoff cut, right? Probably a game of like 20, 25. I get tackled from behind land on my left shoulder. And it was a pretty hard hit, but I didn’t feel anything. I’m, I’m running back to the, the huddle excited and play call is 32 trap again.

So I’m gonna get the ball again. I’m like, all right, awesome. This time I’m gonna score. And. They snapped the ball quarterback goes, they hand it off to me and I literally could not lift my left arm. I was like, what’s going on? Like nothing hurt, but I literally couldn’t lift it. So the quarterback just put the ball in my stomach and like fell to the ground fumble.

And I’m like, what’s going on? Like my arm is not moving. And like, I had so much adrenaline, I didn’t feel any pain. And our, our high school was so small that we didn’t even have an athletic trainer. So like some of the coaches were looking at it there and it looked like it was like bruised and stuff.

They’re like, ah, it’s probably fine, you know, put some ice on it, whatever. And so I didn’t think anything was really that wrong until the bus ride [00:07:00] home. This was like a, a game that was maybe a couple hours away. And I remember us sitting in the back of the bus, like literally every bump I could feel my should.

It felt like it was clicking together, like the bones. And I was like, this does not feel good, but I still was like, yeah, that’s probably nothing. And so I went to the emergency room that night. They x-rayed, they’re like, yep. Collarbone is broken cleanly in half. And I was like, couldn’t believe it. I was like, what?

And, and so my season was over just like that. And so that was really tough. It was, it was a really tough thing for me to handle because sports was like my life. And, but what it did I’m really grateful for that because it built incredible perseverance to me. So as soon as I healed, I think it took about eight weeks before I could really do anything.

And it was crazy for anybody that’s broken their collarbone. They know like the first four weeks, like you really can’t move your arm at all and you can’t put a cast on it. Like they put a [00:08:00] brace on it. But I lost so much muscle mass. It was. Insane. Like, and I couldn’t run, I, I couldn’t really do anything with any type of like fast movement.

So I was like in the worst shape of my life, the weakest I’d ever been. And it was really hard, but I decided that I was gonna do everything I could to make my senior year, the best I possibly could. And I, I wanted that award still. Right. And that was kind of in the back of my mind. It’s not like I thought about this every single day, but it drove me.

And so I got up at, I don’t even know, 5 30, 6 o’clock in the morning. And I would go to this school before school started and lift weights five days a week with one of the football coaches. And I was literally the only person that did that. He would come to this school early, open it up for me, and I would lift with him and I played basketball too, by the way.

So it was, it was tough. Cuz you go lift, then you go to school, then you go to practice or you go to an away game. And it was, I was kind of like a zombie at [00:09:00] times. Like I literally. Had times where I would get up at like two, three o’clock in the morning, cuz I thought it was time for me to go to the school, to lift weights early and like be sleep walking.

I’d be like getting my clothes on, walking down the stairs. My parents would be like, Ryan, what are you doing? It’s like two 30 in the morning. I’d be like, I gotta go to this. I gotta go lift weights. And so it was a crazy time, but I’m, I’m so grateful that I did that. It, it really just like I wanted it so bad.

I had the desire. And so that translated into my senior year. I was starting running back. I won all these awards. I offered a college scholarship to, to play football and all these things along with. Getting academic Allstate, which is what I wanted. But the thing that is like most valuable to me out of that, besides the experience of, of going through that and putting in the hard work and seeing it actually pay off was when I graduated high school, my football coach actually gave me the letter that he wrote, recommending me to get that award.

And that was the most powerful [00:10:00] thing. Like even looking back at that now 14, 15 years later now is, is crazy because at the Mo like at the time it just seemed like normal to me, of course, I’m gonna do everything I can and, and like, make this happen. But reading the words that he wrote about me, of like, you know, some of the things he said, like, Hey, Ryan, didn’t have that.

Natural talent, but he’s maximized talent more than anybody else I’ve ever seen before. So I mean, some of those things to me, I look back at now and I’m like, I’m so grateful that that happened. It sucked at the time I broke my collarbone. I was done with my junior year, but what it did for me was amazing.

And it’s been something that I’ve, you know, when I’m in a tough spot, now I can look back and remember that and be like, well, yeah. Remember when you did that, like you put in the work and it paid off. So I, I think that was a really, really valuable lesson for me. Now what about your parents during this time, your origins, you had BR you had, [00:11:00] you know, brothers and sisters and had your parents, were they goal focused people?

Were they someone who instilled in you to, you know, set a goal and achieve it and work hard? Or what kind of support network did you have? Like, were they there like, Hey man, you’re working too hard. Why aren’t you back off or were they like, Hey man, that’s your goal? You need to do it. What was that like growing.

Yeah, great question. My parents were always really supportive, which was awesome. I think what I learned kind of intrinsically from both my parents, as well as my grandparents was just seeing them work really hard. Like I saw my dad work really, really hard. I saw my grandparents work really, really hard.

I saw my mom work really, really hard. And so I, I think it was more intrinsic me just seeing them do it and like, Hey, this is what you do. You work hard for what you want. Nice. Now, do you think your drive that desire? You know, people always ask the [00:12:00] question, are leaders born or made? And it’s both. I mean, some people are just given natural ability, but there’s other people who develop it, but most people it’s both, they’re given a gift and they maximize it.

So your goal setting, like you said, it was intrinsic, it was learned, but do you feel. Looking back that was something God put in you, or do you feel like it was a hundred percent learned in your case? I think kind of what you said, I think is a little bit of both, to be honest. And this was not even a goal that I ever wrote down.

I didn’t write down, Hey, I want to get this award or whatever, but it was constantly on my mind. Now, what about what are the steps? Because whether you’re 16 or 60 there’s steps to success and there’s steps that are usually discipline scheduling, making sure things happen. You mentioned getting up every day and meeting your coach, right to the listeners out there where they want achieve a physical goal, where they [00:13:00] want to achieve a achievement type goal.

If they wanna achieve a financial goal, what are the steps you’d recommend to them to take, to start hitting their goals? Great question. So we’ll probably talk about this a little bit more later as well. But a couple years ago I developed a framework. I call it my five step business breakthrough framework, but really if you wanna break through in any area of your life, I believe these are the five steps you follow.

And I definitely did not know it at the time, but looking back, I could say, oh yeah, I, I did follow these five steps. Step number one is clarity. What do you want? Right. So I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted this award, this academic, Allstate award step number two is commitment because there are going to be challenges, obviously that come up.

Right. I, I certainly had some and if you’re not committed, you’re probably gonna give up. Right? So you have to be committed 100% to achieving it, or it’s not gonna happen. Step number three is. Lots of different ways you can get coaching, obviously. But I, I [00:14:00] was getting it directly from my coach going, lifting weights with him every day.

Stub number four is courageous action. It’s look, there’s gonna be times where there’s things that you don’t want to do, but you’re going to have to do them if you want to achieve the goal plain and simple. There are a lot of times where I did not want to get up and go to school early to lift weight, especially in the winter, it’s freezing in Minnesota where I’m from, it’s dark out.

It, it’s not very fun. Right. But you, I had to do it. And then step number five is course correction because it’s not gonna be perfect. So you’re gonna have to make corrections along the way. And so, like I said, I can point to that, you know, me winning that award and, and what it took to do that and see those five steps.

I can point out the same five steps in my story and you know, my entrepreneurial journey and, and many others. And, you know, I’m sure you could do the same for you too. Yeah, no, I think that’s, that’s five steps that are excellent. And that’s a solid foundation for anything [00:15:00] we want to achieve. So I know we’re gonna get into those more as the show progresses, but if you’re listening to Ryan right now think and meditate on about what he’s saying, because you know, they have the joke.

If it was easy, everybody would do it. And that’s true. You know, people want to be fit. People want to be wealthy. People want a new blank, but you gotta put in the work and there’s a balance in life on everything. So my, my question to you now is you’re in high school, you’re achieving these goals and you read a letter from your coach and he openly.

What you said is the truth. You weren’t given the most natural gift and ability athletically, but you maximized everything you had and learned and grew to full potential. Is that correct? Yes. Yep. Correct. Yes. So if you’re [00:16:00] listening now, there is definitely gonna be people out there, more talented than me and you, there’s gonna be definitely more people out there who have God given ability and they don’t even, they’re not even thankful or grateful for it.

It just comes so natural, but it means nothing unless you use it. And like your forced step was courageous action. Right. And yep, that is huge. You know, the bio says a talk of the lips tend to only to pen, which is translated in our day today, talks cheap. So. Again, you just watched your family do, is that correct?

So you had a natural, you had a gift in the sense of you were given a great model, but even with the great model, we have a tendency and a slack. What kept you motivated each day? You said you didn’t write it down, but did you just keep thinking on it? Did you keep meditating on it? Did you have friends hold you accountable?

What kept you motivated each day? Yeah, a [00:17:00] great question. So I didn’t write it down. I didn’t have friends keeping me accountable. I think I just wanted it so bad. And I think all of this can probably think back to sometime in your life when you just wanted something so bad that maybe you didn’t even write the goal down or whatever, but you just, you were driven by it.

And I mean, that’s why I think it’s so important to be 100% committed to what your goal is because otherwise it’s not gonna happen. So I think the biggest thing for me was I was thinking about it all the time. And that’s cuz yeah, you were thinking about all the time, you’re passionate about it. Cuz you had your step one clarity and that clarity wasn’t I want to be rich.

You know, people want that all the time. I wanna be rich. I wanna have all this money. Well what do you want it for drill down? Like Ryan’s talking about to this specific of what you want to achieve. Get that clarity and Ryan, sometimes the first step’s the hardest, getting that clarity. What do you recommend to our listeners to help them get clarity for what they want so they can persevere and [00:18:00] achieve it with Christ?

Yeah, 100%. I think this is massively overlooked. I mean, people might think about the five steps I said and oh yeah. Clarity. Of course. Hey, you gotta know what you want, whatever, but you have to be crystal clear. The, the more clear you are, the more certainty it’s gonna give you. And the more certainty you have, the more action you’re gonna take when we don’t have clarity on stuff.

We’re uncertain about it. And when we’re uncertain, we tend to not take a lot of action. So it is very, very important. First of all a couple things that I recommend, first of all, when you’re setting a goal I love to use the acronym smart, which stands for specific measurable. Aligned with your values, which a good, good reason to know what your values are.

Cuz if you don’t know what they are, then how can you align with them? Realistic and time based. So if you just did that, you would be ahead of probably 95 plus percent of people cuz most people. Like you said, they have a vague goal. Like, oh, I wanna be rich or I wanna be famous or, or whatever. So they have [00:19:00] no clarity on it.

And they also don’t actually write it down. A couple of other things I would say is the difference between vision and goals. I think you need both, but there is a difference and I didn’t know what the difference was for a long time. So to me, goals is, you know, kind of what I just said, using that smart acronym.

It’s very specific to me. I think of goals as 12 months or less. It’s more realistic. Like I said, time based vision is something out there in the future. It’s three plus years for me is what I look as at as vision. But it should be something really compelling that man, you get up in the morning and you’re excited just thinking about it, but you don’t necessarily know exactly how it’s going to happen.

You don’t have this step by step plan of, okay, well, you know, next year I’m gonna do this in two years. I’m gonna do this. But you need to have that. And I mean, the Bible talks about having vision. It’s very important when you don’t have that. You’re not going to have that drive and you’re not going to push through the obstacles that are gonna come up.

And then the last piece that I mentioned already is [00:20:00] your values. So I would sit down and figure out what your top five values are and list them in order. Because the thing that I see a lot, I coach a lot of people, especially in business. And I see sometimes people will set these goals, but they’re in direct conflict of what they say their values are.

And this is how sometimes people will take two steps forward and three steps back and they feel like they’re doing all this work, but nothing’s happening. And they don’t understand that they have a goal that’s in conflict with what they say they value. So that’s what I would say to help people get clarity.

Yeah, every time I read your material and we talk, I smile because there’s so many parallels, even on our websites, like on my, about page, I have like, you know, how I outline the purpose, the mission, the vision, and the beliefs. That’s literally the same order as what you just said. You know, as Christians, all of us should have the same purpose as to glorify God.

Our mission is that specific thing, you know, we’re, we’re [00:21:00] called to teach and grow people for God. And then the vision, you know, where there’s no vision, the people perish, that’s a biblical standard. You, you gotta have that vision, that goal, but the core values and belief, like you said, you’re gonna be stagnant or miserable or torn or suffering back.

And what not suffering. What’s the word, inner conflict, mental and heart. Yep. If you don’t have it and you and I I’ve personally achieved goals that I set that weren’t the right goals. and I know if you, people listening can achieve, can think of that, man. I spent 10 years, I spent 20 years trying to achieve X and then I got there and what it really mean to me, nothing, cuz it didn’t align with my core value and beliefs.

So this is a lot of wisdom Ryan’s drop. And thank you. Absolutely. Yeah. Now, so you’re graduated from high school and you had an offer for a scholarship. Where does your life go from there? Yeah. So [00:22:00] like I said, athletics was, was huge for me. I mean, it, it was pretty much my identity in high school, which is not what you want, which I had to find out the hard way.

So I had an offer to play football at a small division two school, and I wanted to go to a, a bigger school division, one school. And so I went there and tried out for their football team and basically didn’t make the cut. They’re like, you’re too small, you know, we, we like you you’re athletic, but you’re, but you’re too small.

And so that was crushing to me, to be honest with you. And so I worked super hard. My freshman year went back, tried out again, sophomore year, same thing. They’re like, you know, we like you, but you you’re just too small. And so two actually attended the division one school. Correct. Okay. I just wanna make sure that was clear.

It wasn’t like you took a year off. Didn’t take a year off, but that was, that was really, really hard, cuz like I said, my identity was as an athlete. And so when that was taken away from me, it was like, I, I don’t know what to do. And [00:23:00] so I kind of felt in with the wrong crowd and started partying. I didn’t care as much about my grades cuz I didn’t have the clarity.

You know, I didn’t have another goal in high school. I got great grades. Part of it was because I knew what I wanted in college suddenly I just, I didn’t really have a direction and I was just kind of hanging out and like I said, hanging out with the wrong crowd. And it was tough. It, it, it was a really tough couple of years.

But the thing that helped me was, again, it was getting clarity on what I wanted and you know, what I wanted to do. So eventually I decided that I wanted to get a degree in exercise science. And my plan was to become a strength and conditioning coach at a college. Cuz I loved athletics. It was a way for me to still be around it.

And I loved helping people and I loved working out. So it seemed like a great fit. And so I was working towards that and then I think around the end of my junior year and then early on in my senior year, I kind of started to come to some realizations that first of all, it’s [00:24:00] really tough to get a job as a strength and conditioning coach.

There’s only so many colleges in, in the us, right. You’re also gonna have to go wherever you can get a job. And it’s also really hard to get a job without having a master’s degree, which I really. Didn’t want to go get a master’s degree either. So I read an amazing book called the education of millionaires.

It’s a great book. Love it. So this guy went and interviewed probably a couple dozen millionaires in billionaires that either didn’t graduate from college or some of them, I think didn’t even graduate from high school. So it was basically saying, you know, you, you don’t have to go to college to be successful.

And it was talking a lot about entrepreneurship as well. And so that kind of re sparked. Entrepreneurship within me, because growing up, I was very entrepreneurial. So I had a, a business mowing lawns and shoveling snow when I was in like middle school and high school. In a funny story, I tell, so kind of the fir my first [00:25:00] entrepreneurial venture was when I was, I don’t know how old I was like 11, maybe summer before, like sixth grade or seventh grade, something like that.

And so my mom was in charge of the Sunday school. And the previous year we did this fundraiser where we went around. Like I said, really small town and we sold these calendars to raise money for our Sunday school. And so my mom kept getting these fundraising magazines. So I’m sitting there in the summer nothing to do.

And I open up the fundraising magazine. I’m looking through it. I see the same calendars that we sold last year. And it’s like sell 30 calendars. You make like $200 profit or something. I’m like, you can make $200 by selling these counters. And I’m like, I mean, that seems like a ton of money to me at the time.

So I’m like, go convince my mom, like, Hey, you gotta order these for me. Like, I’ll go sell ’em for myself so I can make the money. So my mom orders them. I get the calendars and I literally go to the same people. We sold them to last year. Like I go to the bank, I go to the grocery store. I go to all of our neighbors and it was hilarious because they’re all like, [00:26:00] oh, you doing this for your Sunday school again?

And I’m like, Nope, I’m doing this for me. And just like, the look on their face was hilarious, cuz they’re like, oh, but I sold them all. So now was it. I remember those. Were they current. I can’t remember the name and it might be different publishers, but I remember they used to send you a catalog and they used to sometimes send greeting card samples or calendar samples.

And I remember being so poor. I’d take ’em outta the magazine and use ’em when the holiday came. Is that what you’re talking about? It was like a magazine, a different fundraiser item. I, it was a magazine of different fundraiser magazines. I could not tell you like exactly what it was. I don’t remember.

I was just talking to my mom about this recently. She didn’t remember either exactly those details, but it doesn’t matter. That was more of a, just a fun curiosity question. Yeah. Cause I remember that like, yeah, I was so poor and I wanted a tent or a raft and I’m like, well, I can just go sell wrapping paper and make the money for it.

Right. So that’s awesome. Now, when you did that, [00:27:00] you figured out like buy resell, make profit, right? Yep. 100%. Yep. So that was, that was kind of my first taste of it. And I always kind of like, nobody in my family is an entrepreneur owns a business. So I think God just put that in me, but I, I was always just thinking about that, like different ways to make money and like, you know, what if I did this or what if I sold this?

Or like, so like I, I sent him for in high school. I sent him for probably like, I don’t, I don’t even know, like 20, 30 different like mail order things, which most of them were scams. Like I remember one time when I was in high school, like. It was, it was like, I don’t remember what it was. It, it was like, make like $40 an hour, like soldering together, these like electrical boards or something.

So I remember like the dead of winter in Minnesota, I’m out in the garage, which was not heated, like with a soldering gun, like trying to solder together. These things like these, [00:28:00] like these resistors in, into this thing. And it was, it was awful. I was like, okay, this is not gonna work but that’s just, that’s just the way I thought I, I was always thinking about, you know, how could I make money or what could I do here or, or whatever.

So, and so now this college course, or this college track reignites, this. Right. Yeah, it was, it was more realizing that, you know, if I wanted to be a strength and addition, coach, I’m not gonna have control over, you know, how much I get paid, what my schedule is, where I live, probably gonna have to get a master’s degree.

None of that appealed to me. So I was like, you know what, why don’t I just start my own business training people like, you know, I’m, I’ve done entrepreneurial stuff before. I love it. And reading that book kind of re sparked that. So graduate college moved down to the twin cities in Minnesota, which that was a little bit of a culture shock for me alone, cuz coming to a Metro of three plus million people from growing up in a town of 300 [00:29:00] was very different.

And so I came down, I started my. And I quickly realized that, although I had the skills to help people, like I knew what I was doing, I could help them lose weight or do whatever they wanted to do, but I did not know how to market. And I did not know how to sell. So three months in I’ve made a total of like $200 and I’m like, okay, this is not working so good.

and I was living with my aunt at the time. I was actually sleeping on her couch and she lived in a 60 plus condo community. So I actually had to sneak in and out every morning and every night, cuz I was not allowed to live there cuz you’re supposed to be 60 plus to live there. Yep. That’s hilarious. yep.

So that was my life and I’m like, okay. And so obviously I wasn’t making much money. My student loans were about to come do. And so I went to this employment agency and they placed me at a metal factory working 12 hour night shifts. It was 9:00 PM to 9:00 AM. And man, that was [00:30:00] a big time wake up call. So I remember I was sitting there in the break room one night.

It was like two o’clock in the morning, something like that. And I look up at the clock and I realized that it was my 23rd birthday. And I was like, man, how the heck did I get here? Like, God, this was not the plan. Right. And I, I remember just like being so down on myself and I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like you were made for more, like you’re letting everybody around you down, but that’s exactly how I felt in that moment.

And, and obviously it didn’t feel very good. So I just kind of sat there and I was feeling sorry for myself for probably 10, 15 minutes, but then I made a really, really powerful decision. And so what I’ve learned since then is that when you’re in situations like that, Are painful. They don’t feel good. You can actually use it to your benefit.

You can use it to fuel you forward. And that’s exactly what I did. So the decision that I made was that I was gonna go restart my business. I was gonna learn how to market, learn how to sell and [00:31:00] develop the habits that I needed to make it successful. Cuz I didn’t wanna be sitting there in the metal factory again on my 24th birthday or my 34th birthday.

And so I was like, you know what, I’m gonna take massive action. So I finished out that shift, quit the metal factory went and restarted the. And started learning the skills that I knew were missing. So, like I said, selling marketing, and also totally changed all my habits. So one of the first things I invested in was this 30 hour Tony Robbins audio program that I just listened to on repeat.

And it really helped me with my mindset and what I believed was possible. And slowly I started to make some progress. I started to learn how to sell and as I took action, I got a little bit better, a little bit better. And so about six months later, I was able to move outta my own place. But was by no means crushing it.

I was kind of in a place where things were okay, like the bills were getting paid and I wasn’t living with my aunt anymore, but then I kind of got stuck there [00:32:00] and I was there for about a year probably. And I made two more, really powerful decisions to change everything. So one of ’em was hiring my first coach, despite the fact that.

I didn’t have the money at the time, quote unquote. Right. And I, I didn’t think I could do it. I remember this was a free coaching call going into it. I was like, there’s no way I’m buying coaching. Like, I’m, I’m just gonna go try to get some value from this, cuz I know I need to do something and then I’ll move on.

And I remember at the end of the coaching call, I was like, I have to do this. Like I know I have to do this. Like I have to jump it’s uncomfortable. I don’t want to, because you know, it feels safe and secure over here, but I know I’m gonna be stuck if I don’t do something. And so I signed up for the coaching, which was amazing.

I doubled my business the next year. It really helped me in every area of my life. And the second thing that I did was I signed up for a one day. Business mastermind in Miami with a couple guys that [00:33:00] I’d learned, basically I bought some of their courses online and learned how to sell and how to market in the fitness industry.

And these guys were both doing probably 10 million a year at the time. And so growing up and up to this point, I had never even met another really successful entrepreneur in person. So flying to Miami from Minnesota, first of all, it was amazing cuz it was January, it’s 20 Minnesota. like 85 in Miami. I was like, why do I live in Minnesota again?

But going and for our listeners, for our listeners around the world, there’s different types of cold. And within America, you know, there’s new England cold and there’s, you know, New Mexico cold, but then there’s like Minnesota cold Chicago cold. And describe that Ryan, because I want people to really get it.

I mean, it’s, it’s a different type of cold. it is, it is definitely a different type of cold. So, I mean, honestly, you kind of have to experience it [00:34:00] because most freezers are set at around zero degrees. And so in Minnesota we have probably at least 10 to 20 days where we’re below zero with normal temperature with wind chills, sometimes 30, 40, 50 below.

And so, yeah. And that hurts your bones. It hurts your, your bones, bone, your bones feel cold, but with that wind, yes. So I, I remember walking to class in college, they didn’t cancel class. It was like 50 below. I remember walking to class, it was only like probably a 10 minute walk. And I walked from class back to my dorm room and I literally like, felt like my muscles were starting to freeze.

They hurt and I was like, I was like, this is not good, but yeah, that, that’s the type of cold, very, very cold. And you’re leaving that and going to beautiful. South Florida, 85 degrees in January. And what was that experience from there? It was amazing, first of all, because I’d never left Minnesota in the winter.

So to be somewhere warm in January was like, I, it was like [00:35:00] unheard of to me. I was like, it was like another world honestly stepped outta the airport and I was sweating. I was like, this is crazy. And also, I, I think just being in Miami, so I stayed in south beach and I stayed there intentionally because I wanted to be around the wealth there because a lot of it’s fake wealth, right.

People are renting Lamborghini so they can drive and look cool there. But just being around that, like from the small town, I grew up. Like, I, I don’t even think I saw BMW in person until I was like in college. So just being around that, I’m like, this is CRA it felt like a different world. Like the amount of wealth there, the fact that it was warm instead of freezing.

And then the fact that I got to be in a room with these two guys who were multimillionaires extremely successful, I think it was me and nine other people for an entire day. It was like 10 hours. So you’re hanging out with them, talking to them and getting their mind on my business was like, it was, it was crazy.

I, [00:36:00] I was mind blown and that, and you were in the fitness industry at that time? I, I was in the fitness industry. Yep. Had a personal training business that was doing okay. Like I said, but I was stuck. And going there was just like, man, look what’s possible. And also hearing their stories cuz they were no different than me growing up.

Like there was nothing special about them really other than the fact that they put their work in. And so it was really inspiring for me. So I came back to Minnesota and then like I said, I had hired a coach as well. And that year I absolutely crushed it. It was best year of my life, best year of my business and things kind of took off from there.

But looking back at that, you know, cuz I’m a coach now and looking back at where like I had so much resistance to even do a free coaching call and then looking at how much it changed my life. So that’s one of the reasons why I’m so passionate about coaching. Why I love coaching so much because I know the power of even one coaching call [00:37:00] that it can change your life.

Yeah. If you’re with the right coach and some people know exactly what a coach is, some people are like, what is he talking about? Do you wanna describe what a coach, what a good coach is, what people should be looking for in a good coach. Cause coaches are a dime a dozen, however, a good coach brings results.

So talk about what should our listeners look for? Whether they’re they’re in Ireland, Australia, Mozambique, whether they’re in, you know, Honolulu, Hawaii, or Idaho, what should you be looking for in a good coach? Yeah, great question. It is, it’s kind of unfortunate because basically anybody can just say they’re a coach.

right. And so one thing I would say is, and depending on what type of coach you’re looking for, right? But if you’re a business owner, you’re looking for a business coach, you want somebody that has actually owned a business before and, and been successful at it. Right? You don’t want somebody that’s like, they just decided to be a coach last week and they call themselves a coach.

And [00:38:00] then, you know, they’re probably not gonna be able to help you very much. So I also make it kind of a distinction between coaching and consulting, because I think there’s a lot of crossover, obviously, you know, some people call themselves coaches and they do a lot of consulting and vice versa. But to me, consulting is more like, okay, David, let me look at your business.

Okay, you should do this, this, this, and this. Here’s what you should do with your marketing, et cetera, whatever. Versus if you’re looking at pure coaching, pure coaching is more. I, I think a great coach asks great questions, cuz a lot of times you already have the answer inside of yourself. So a great coach asks great questions.

It gets you to think and gets you to realize cuz here’s the other thing, if I just tell you what to do, I’m like, Hey David, you need to do this. Versus I ask you a great question and, and get you to realize on your own. And you come up with the answer. It’s totally different because you may give resistance.

If I just tell you, Hey, do this, you may be like, oh, well I don’t know if David knows what he is talking about or you know, I [00:39:00] don’t wanna do that or whatever. But if I ask you an amazing question and then you come up with the answer on your own and you’re like, oh, well I don’t, I should probably do this.

Then it’s your own answer. So you’re gonna be a thousand times more likely to actually do it, cuz you’re not gonna argue with yourself. You may argue with what I tell you, but you’re not gonna argue with what you tell yourself. So that’s some of the biggest things I would say with coaching versus consulting, but look for a coach that’s been there and done that.

Not somebody that is just a coach, somebody that has results. And also, I would say kind of I’m laughing because I agree completely. And it goes along with politics too. If somebody’s been in office for 45 years and never worked a real day in their life, don’t elect them. So we’re not gonna go political, but just a rule for thought a thought, think about it.

It’s a good rule for life. Absolutely. 100%. But yeah, the other thing I would say, it depends on what the coaching is, et cetera, but if possible, a lot of coaches will, will give you [00:40:00] a, a free coaching call. So you can test that out and go see what they’re like, you know, go see if they’re actually able to help you on a call or, or not.

So, and would you agree with this? You can. I think a good coach. You’re gonna have ups and downs and you’re gonna have, wow. I love this person. They encourage me so much how, oh, they’re pushing me. I mean, there’s gonna be like that fleshly self-destructive part that wants to quit when they are pushing you and make excuses.

But a good coach is gonna keep you moving forward accountable. And sometimes people see themself achieving things and like, oh, I didn’t even need that guy or girl. And really it’s like, duh, they were the catalyst. God used to get you through yourself. So do you agree with that for people to expect highs and lows when they go into it, but persevere and stay the course.

100%. So my first coach, there were times when I loved him. And there were times when I hated him. I was like, I can’t believe he called me out on matter. I can’t believe he told me that. But then after [00:41:00] thinking about it for a while, I’m like, ah, you know what, actually, he’s right. and so, yeah, I mean, there’s definitely gonna be highs and lows.

You’re not always gonna love your coach, you know, in, because your coach is not your friend. Like you should not hire a coach to be your friend. So your coach is gonna need to put their coaching hat on when they’re coaching you. So if they’re a good question, they’re going to ask you the hard questions, the things that your friends would not ask you.

That’s why, if you wanna be held accountable, I highly recommend you get a coach because yeah. You can be held accountable by your friends or by, you know, your wife or whatever. But typically they’re not gonna go into the hard places and ask you the hard questions, cuz they’re your friend. They don’t, they want to be your friend.

Right? So a coach. Yeah. They’re gonna piss you off sometimes, but that’s how you’re gonna grow and get better. Yeah. And then one more thing too. Ryan and I love man. I love you man. All the stuff you’re saying it triggers cuz this is what you and I do for a living. Yep. So to our [00:42:00] listeners all over the world, listen to what Ryan’s saying.

Because a friend is someone that tells you what you want to hear. Yep. A real friend is somebody who tells you what you need to hear. And same thing with a coach. If you have somebody that’s always a yes, man, you’re gonna go insane. Like all these famous people and, and destroy yourself. But if you have a coach who’s pissing you off, that’s a good check and balance.

That’s a, that’s a sign of a good coach because they’re pushing you. And now there’s arrogance and there’s people who are psycho, who are pushing you, but a good coach is gonna have that steady encouragement and rattle you when you need it. And if you’re not getting pissed off once in a while, or if you UN riled up inside, something’s wrong.

Yeah. I, 100% agree for sure. Yeah. So now you get this coaching, it radically changes the way. What, what did your coaching experience at Miami do? Like what did you walk away with? Like, was it all mindset [00:43:00] perspective? Did they give you marketing tips and tricks? What did you walk away with from that day?

Yeah. So that day was, it was a little bit of everything. It was definitely some mindset and things like that, but it was much more tactical in marketing. And especially because, you know, they were looking directly at my business. So I remember I had this headline for something or something I was selling or, or whatever.

And I remember they put it up like on the, on the screen and then they both picked it apart. And I was like, they were done. They were done like 10 minutes later. It was like completely different. And it was like a thousand times better. And I was like, cuz I thought it was really good before. And I’m like, okay, this is a different level.

So it was that’s yeah, it was a little bit of everything. It was tactics, but also mindset. And again, if you’re listening, I’m not saying go pay for expensive coaching and courses, but if you get the right people, it’s totally worth it. Like Ryan said, he spent one day, he flew in, spent the [00:44:00] day, maybe a couple days came back.

And God used that experience to change his life. So don’t be afraid to spend the money to get the coaching you need. Yeah. I, I mean, the way I look at it too, is some of the stuff that I learned there, I, I mean, I can use for the rest of my life. I got paid one time. I went there one time, but now I, now that I know this, I mean, some of those skills that I learned and some of those things that I learned, I, I mean, I don’t even know how much money it’s gonna make me over the course of the rest of my life.

So also think about that. It’s not just, okay. Yeah, you could look at it as, okay. I’m spending this much money and I’m literally going there for one day for 10 hours. Like that is so not worth it. But if you think about it in terms of an investment in yourself and like, how long are you gonna be able to use these skills and you know, how much money potentially is this gonna make you, then you start thinking about it a little bit differently.

Yeah. I didn’t grow up with my dad and I didn’t have a lot of male role models growing. And my uncle, I love, and he’s probably the closest to me as a man, but he lived in [00:45:00] California for most of my childhood, but I had I keep saying very bad English. I apologize to my listeners, but I had a great uncle, uncle Joe.

And he said to me, he said, people can steal your money. People can steal your wife. He said, but they can’t steal what you learn. He’s like learn good things and invest in your, your knowledge and education. And he was a giant man, even though he was from south Italy, he was a giant, he was like six, four or six, six.

And he did hard work and his hands were like bears. But he was saying the same thing to me that Ryan’s saying to you invest in yourself, cuz people can’t take from you what God, what God allows you to absorb within. So now you go to there. What goes on with your life? From this point? Yeah. So from that point my business took off, like I said, so things were successful.[00:46:00]

And it was awesome to be honest for a while. But about a, let’s see, a couple years after that, 2015 is when I met my now wife, Brittany, and this is a, a whole nother whole nother area. So this is, this is gonna be a, a major tangent, but I think it’ll be really good for people to hear this. So I’m successful in my business.

I went to this big personal development event in Chicago. It was actually right. I think it was July. So same time of years. We’re recording this. 2015, I go there there’s like 10,000 people there. And I come back from the event and there was a Facebook group set up along with the event. And there were, I don’t know, 5,000 people in it or something.

And this person from Minnesota. Made a post and it was like, Hey, we’re starting a meetup group for people that went to this conference that live in the twin cities. And I [00:47:00] ended up commenting on it and I wanted to know about it. And my now wife, Brittany did as well. And she also sent me a friend request.

And so I remember the first time I looked at her, her Facebook profile and like, th this was crazy. Like I looked at her Facebook profile and I literally felt like God like said the word wife to me. And I was like, what the heck? Like what now? I don’t even know this person. Like . And, and so I went to this first meetup group, Brittany wasn’t there, she was gone or something.

And I remember I reached out to her on Facebook and like, told her about the event, asked if she was coming to the next one. And I think the next month she couldn’t come also. And then I remember one day I was just, I was on Facebook. I saw something she posted or something. And I went and looked at her profile a little more in detail.

And I, I looked at I should actually back up a little bit. So three months before this, I was working with my coach and I told him, Hey, I wanna be in a relationship. [00:48:00] Like, I, I feel like I’m ready and I wanna be in a relationship. So he had me make these three lists that was incredibly valuable. So the three lists were, first of all, what do you want?

Like, what is everything that you want in your ideal person? Right? This could be character traits, whatever, all these different things. So I made this list. Second list was what are all the things that you don’t want? Right. And star the things that are like absolute deal breakers. Like if they’re a smoker or whatever, like deal breaker.

And then the third list was who do you need to become in order to attract that type of person? Which I think is the most powerful list that most people don’t think about this. Cuz it’s like, oh yeah, I want this amazing person, but okay. Well, Where are you at? Do you need to do some growth if you actually want to attract that type of person?

And so I made these lists and then fast forward three months. So I’m looking at Britney’s profile and like, I’m just kind of mentally in my head, like checking off all these boxes. I’m like, well, I don’t know for sure, but man, I [00:49:00] definitely looks like she checks this box. Like she checks this box and this one and I was intrigued.

I was like, man, like I need to meet this girl. Like, you know, I’m, I’m not gonna wait for the next meet up. And you know, she might be there. She might not. So I literally messaged her and I was like, Hey, you know, I would, would love to meet up and get coffee and get to know you a little bit better, whatever.

And so we did, and we talked for a couple hours and I thought it was amazing. Like I left being. Confirmation confirmation confirmation, like check, check, check, check, like, like, thank you, God. Like, this is amazing. This is like everything I’m looking for. And I didn’t know it at the time, of course, but Brittney left being like, ah, yeah, like I’m definitely not gonna date this guy.

Like, you know, he , he seems like he might be a good friend and, you know, whatever, like he’s into personal development, but definitely not gonna date him. And so one of the things that we talked about. Church while we were there. And at the time I wasn’t really regularly attending church [00:50:00] in college. I’d kind of gotten away from things and like, I still read my Bible and things like that.

And then moving down to the twin cities where I was at, I’d never really found a church where I connected and where I was going regularly, but I wanted to, and I was looking for one. So she told me about her church and like sounded amazing. And they were literally doing this like three day event, like two days after we met.

And so she invited me to that event and she didn’t think I was actually gonna come. And so I went to that event. I went to all three days and I thought I was amazing. And I was like, I’m gonna start going to this church. Like and so she was like, whoa, like you’re, you’re going to my church now. And I don’t want to date you.

I didn’t know this of course. And but you went to the church because you loved the church, not just correct. Correct. I went to the church cuz that that’s exactly what I was looking for and it was amazing for me. And I went through over the next. Couple months. I went through like a massive spiritual growth that needed it to happen if we were gonna be together.

And, [00:51:00] but it was amazing. So I. Like serving at church. We had like a, a Wednesday service during the middle of the week and Sunday and all this stuff and just, I loved it. And, and like I said, massive spiritual growth. And at the same time, basically me and Brittany got to know each other better and got to be friends before we actually started dating.

But I, I forgot one other thing I gotta mention. So we went on the first date. I called her like a, a couple days later or something and was like, Hey, like I love it. I’d love to go on another date. And she’s like, no, she’s like, Nope. . And I’m like, okay. And then I remember I told you I started going to that church.

And so it was like a couple days later, it was like my first Sunday at the church. And afterwards, like we’re walking out together and talking and she literally like pulls me aside and she’s like, Hey Ryan, I just wanna be really, really clear. I only want to be friends. And I was like, okay. So I, but in [00:52:00] my head, like at the time, Okay for now, like, cuz I was like, Hey God brought her into my life.

Like she’s checking all the boxes. Like I know there’s a reason for it. Maybe timing’s not right right now, but like it’s gonna happen. And so next couple months, like I said, I I’m having massive spiritual growth and we got to know each other a little bit better. We’re friends and then we had this guy from Kenya come to our church.

And so our pastor from that church was from Kenya, originally moved to the us, like in his twenties, started the church. And so he brought this guy in and this guy was really prophetic. And so I grew up in a Lutheran church and like talking about prophecy and things like that. I was like, didn’t, didn’t even really know much about it.

Right. Other than reading about it in the Bible. And so I. This guy is there. I think it was a three day conference [00:53:00] and the first day he’s there and he preaches a message and afterwards, everybody was kind of like standing up front by the altar. And like, he just started giving some words to people and prophesying to a few people.

And I was like, I knew these people by this time. So I was like, man, he’s a hundred percent right about that. Like he’s a hundred percent right about that. He’s a hundred percent right about that. And so I was just intrigued and I remember I went home that night and I had a dream. And in my dream, it was the next day at the conference.

He’s standing up there. It’s like at the end and he’s giving some people some words and I’m standing up there and he walks straight up to me in my dream points at me. He says, you’re gonna marry Britney. And then I woke up and I was like, man, that was like, that was a cool dream . And so, and so but I, I didn’t think much of it.

I wasn’t like, oh man, like God gave me this dream and, and whatever. I was just like, oh, this is a cool dream. So it’s. The second day of the conference, I’m standing up front it’s at the end. He is [00:54:00] giving words to other people. And he walks up to me just like in my dream. And I’m like, whoa, is he gonna say the same thing?

He said in, in my dream. And he walks up to me and he is like, God is gonna use you. And then that was it. And I was like, okay, well, that’s awesome. But you know that wasn’t my dream. and but using you is pretty important, but yeah, I know what you’re saying. Right, right. And so it’s the third and final day of the conference and same thing.

Like he preaches a message and then he’s up there and he is giving people a couple words. And Britney was like standing literally like front and center, right in front of the, the stage where he was. And I was back like, I don’t know, 15, 20 feet. And there’s like a bunch of people in between us. So he’s like pacing on stage.

He stops right in front of Britney, looks at her and he’s like, he’s like, where’s your fiance at? Or something like that. And she’s like, oh, I don’t have one. And he is like, okay. And he’s like, I wanna attend your wedding before. 20 let’s see, before 2017. And [00:55:00] so this is January, 2016. So basically he’s like, Hey, I wanna attend your wedding before 2017.

And Britney’s like okay. And then he paces back and forth a little bit. He stops, he looks directly at me and I didn’t know him. Like I had not talked to him at all. Brittany had not talked to him at all. Looks directly at me. He’s like, he’s like, where’s your fiance at? Or where’s your wife at? I think you said, and I was like, I’m not married.

And he is like, okay. He’s like, come up here. And so he literally like me and Brittany are standing front and center there and he’s like, basically like went over our relationship up to that point. He’s like, Hey, like, there’s been a lot of communication going on here. Like what’s, you know, what’s been blocking it.

And then he like pointed at Brittany and this was this guy’s first time in America. So there was a lot of cultural stuff that he’s not understand. And like things that he, like, our pastor was not happy with him about afterwards. I was happy with him though. So [00:56:00] so he’s kind of like saying all this stuff and, and for like five, 10 minutes and basically the way he ended it, he’s like, I’m not saying you guys are gonna get married, but he’s like within three months, you guys are gonna know.

And he looked at Brittany and he’s like, if God tells you it’s him, don’t refuse it. And that was it. And I was like, Okay. Like I’m back in the game, like, thanks God . And Brittany was like, what? Like what the heck’s going on? Like, and so I remember, like how much did you pay him? exactly. Yeah. That’s probably what she was thinking.

And I remember she, she texted me like late that night and we met the next day to talk and she was like, what do you like, what do you think about all this? And she’d spent nine months in Nigeria. And she was used to like, the time she was over there, like all these African guys coming up to her being like, Hey God, God told me to like, we’re gonna get married.

And so Brittany had an experience like that previously. So she literally thought that I was gonna be like, well, this guy said we should get married. Like we should get married. [00:57:00] And that’s not how we’re I responded. I was just basically like, you know what? I, I don’t know what all the means, but I wanna get to know you better and see what happens.

And basically long story short. That’s what we did. So first, like couple weeks was very. Slow. And then after that, it was just like, boom, we started dating and it was like, it was like, God ordained felt like it. And, and when we were dating for maybe like a couple months, it was literally like, almost exactly three months to the day from when this guy gave that prophecy to us, that Britney was taking a nap like middle of the day.

And when she was taking a nap, I think it was in a dream, like God told her, like you’re gonna marry Ryan. And so, yeah, it was, it was crazy. So we did end up getting married before 2017. We got married in November, 2016 and we actually flew the guy back from Kenya to a wedding and had him share. From [00:58:00] his perspective that day, what happened?

And it was amazing. Cuz he was basically like, you know, I, I didn’t know what the connection was, but I, I felt like God was telling me that like I saw you guys and then I saw love and I was like, I don’t know if the brother and sister like what’s going on. And like, so it was amazing to hear him explain like what God was telling him on that day.

And he shared it with everybody there. So it was, it was amazing. So yeah, that’s my not so common story of how me and my wife met and eventually got married. Yeah. And so some people listen now have. It’s completely foreign for them to think this way. And then there’s other people like, oh, I totally get it.

You know, like you said, cultures are different all over the world. There’s one race, the human race, but nations and cultures are different. But within America, I think you’d agree. Most people would think, you know, stuff doesn’t happen like that. But the fact is it does. And there’s so many different gifts and abilities.

God gives us [00:59:00] all. And you know, it talks about the Bible. If somebody says they’re a prophet in the wrong ones, you stone ’em to death. Now we should probably, you know, enforce that more. Right. But our laws don’t allow it. But when you truly have someone with a gift like that, there’s people who see things that they normal, quote, unquote person, doesn’t see there’s things that people hear that like we don’t hear, but they can hear it just like it’s like you and I talking there’s feelings, there’s guidance.

There’s so many things through the holy spirit that God shares with us. And in most churches within America, it’s like, don’t talk about that. That’s like crazy. So again, it’s all about balance. If you go too far left or too far, right. You’re out of balance and you’re on crazy. But if you have the balance of the Lord, that’s where we should be.

So that’s an awesome story. And thank you for sharing it, Ryan. So now you have a business that’s thriving. You meet the woman that God has for you and, and you for her. Where does life [01:00:00] go from? So testing. Right? So things seemed amazing. Like my business is doing great. Brittany is also an entrepreneur. She had a business where things were going well at the time.

And I was on top of the world. I thought thought it was amazing. Right. So two stories that I’ll share one quick one. So a month into being married, like we thought we had things figured out. We’re like, yeah, we know a lot of people struggle in marriage, but like we’re both so into personal development and we did all this, like read all these marriage books and, and did all this stuff before we got married and a month into being married.

I remember it was like the middle of the day. I think it was during the week sometime. Cause we were both entrepreneurs. We had our own schedules and Brittany was sitting in the bedroom and she was like, Hey, I wanna ask you a question. I was like, okay. And she’s like, How love do you feel on a scale of one to 10 by me?

And I was like 10, obviously, like we just got married. This is [01:01:00] amazing. Like, of course it’s 10. And then she looked kind of sad and I was like, that’s kind of weird. And I was like, well, let me ask her. I was like, how love do you feel on a scale of one to 10? And I was like positive. She was gonna say 10 as well.

And she was like two. And I was like, what? Like, I, I literally like, couldn’t believe it. I thought she was joking and she’s like two and she starts crying and I was like, and then she, like, I literally couldn’t say anything. And I, I like couldn’t move, cuz I was so shocked and like she starts crying and then she got up and like grabbed her keys and left and I was like, like what just happened?

And so. That was kind of like a, a wake up, like a welcome to marriage. Like the thing that I see that happens to a lot of guys, when they get married, it’s like, you feel like you won the gold medal and then it’s all of a sudden, like you stop doing all the things that attracted her to you in the first place.

And that’s exactly what had happened for me. And so long story short [01:02:00] we both like dug back into marriage books and we committed to going to one marriage conference a year, which we’ve done every year since we’ve been married. And it’s been so incredibly valuable because. I think so many people like they don’t understand that if you want a great marriage, it’s gonna take a lot of work.

Like it’s, it’s almost like having a business. Like if you stop doing stuff, your business is gonna go bankrupt. Like you stop putting deposits into your marriage, then things are gonna be bad as well. So that’s the first thing that that’s like, was like a go welcome to marriage. And then the second thing was six months into marriage.

So before we got married, we committed that we were gonna tie every month, no matter what. And so six months in, we got massively, massively tested in that as well. So I’d had my business for a couple years. Brit had had her business for a couple years and the problem was neither. One of us really knew what we were doing in terms of filing our taxes.

Like never had a business. Like it it’s [01:03:00] different when you own a business, how you pay taxes and all that. And. Basically, we both had a lot of tax debt and six months in, I remember it, it was like a Wednesday, middle of the day I was at home. Britney was at the grocery store and she called me crying and I was like, what’s going on?

Like, what’s wrong? And she’s like, our card was declined. Like I couldn’t buy the groceries. And like I checked her bank account and like the IRS literally came and took all of our money. And I was like, what? And she’s like, yeah, the IRS took all of our money. And so for some reason we weren’t getting notices or something.

Like we had no idea and we owed the IRS all this money and they literally just came and took all of our money and our rent was due like the next day and all this stuff. And It was, it was crazy, but I’m so grateful that I’d worked so much on my mindset because Britney is crying on the phone. And like, obviously I’m shocked and surprised and like, feel like somebody [01:04:00] punched me in the gut, but I was able to be a leader at that moment and be like, it’s gonna be okay, come home.

You know, we’ll get it figured out. It’s gonna be fine. And it was, it was a long journey of a couple years where things were really difficult because getting anything done with the IRS takes a long, long time. And it was really hard because we had probably for the next six to nine months after that, it was like, all right, do we pay our rent?

Or do we ti, like we said, we were gonna do. And so we, we kept tithing and it was really amazing and built both of our faith, like so much because we saw God come through every single month. It was like, when we put him first and we tied, then, I mean, we had all these crazy things of like people giving us money or like, you know, somebody paying us money that had owed us money for a long time and we forgot about or something and like right at the last minute.

So it was a real life example of like, man, God is my provider. Like, and when I put him [01:05:00] first, he is gonna provide for me, it may not be the way I want. It may not look the way that I want it to, or the way that I think it should or whatever. But I’m so grateful for that time. It wasn’t fun to go through it, but like it built our faith so tremendously much.

So. Yeah. That’s, that’s the other story early on in marriage. Yeah. And to our overseas listeners, the IRS is the internal revenue service and it’s the arm of the government that handles taxation. And they’re infamous for when they get to the point of seizing assets. It’s seized. I mean, like Ryan said, they just shut off his accounts and you’re basically anything you had in the bank.

Anything you had that’s accessible digitally is gone. So that can be a nightmare. So now you guys are doing this. Where does your life go between there and today? Yeah, so like I said, it was, [01:06:00] it was like a, a couple years of dealing with the IRS and trying to get things figured out. And eventually we settled with the IRS.

We owed the IRS $0 today, which I, I don’t recommend being in debt to the IRS cuz of what you just said. Like they basically have the power to, to do whatever they want. So it wasn’t, you don’t wanna be in debt to anybody. I’m I’m wanna put that out there. I don’t believe in debt even for businesses.

I mean there’s times where you’re using money, money management and you know, you can invest your money and make five, 10% a year. You can take a loan out on your house for, you know, 4%. Okay. That makes sense financially. Yeah. But other than like certain. I mean, I, I don’t really like any debt personally. I don’t know what your thought is.

The bio says the borrower is servant to the lender, so you need to make your decisions. And some people will be like, you have to take debt out to run a business. Some people are like, if you’re good with your money, you’ll have debt. I’m just an anti debtor personally. That doesn’t mean you need to be.

But like Ryan [01:07:00] says, when it comes to owing anybody, you definitely don’t want to owe the IRS. Yeah, absolutely. And so it, it was a tough time for a while, but we both built our businesses back up because something else I didn’t mention was like, right before we got married it was, it was a crazy, and it happened fast.

Right? We got married like seven, eight months after we started dating. So it was, it was like this whirlwind. It was really fast. And while we were focused on each other and planning our wedding and all that, we both kind of let our businesses drop. So all of a sudden we owe the IRS all this money and also we’re making less money than we ever have before.

So we built our businesses back up. Got everything taken care of with the IRS. And around that time, this was 2018. I had felt for a while. I had my personal training business. It was going well, but I’d felt like for a while ever since I got my first coach, which was in 2014, like God was pushing me a little bit more towards coaching [01:08:00] and a little bit less towards my, my personal training business.

And so 2018 is when I officially filed the LLC for what I do right now. So extraordinary, man. And I’m also the host of the extraordinary man podcast. And essentially what I do is help men grow their business and become the man. God created them to be in every area of their life. And so I do that primarily through one-on-one coaching.

Also have a mastermind and then Brittany also, I. I think it was also 2018 actually felt kind of the same thing. So she does something similar. Her business is called unleash your shine, but she helps women. I’m trying to think of what her tagline is. It’s like she helps women grow their business and elevate their joy.

And because prior to that, she had a franchise neighborhood magazine that she ran for like seven, eight years and was very successful at it. But she knew that was not where God wanted her and where God was calling her too. And so, yeah, since 2018, we’ve [01:09:00] both been building those businesses. And for me right now, I feel like I’m exactly where God wants me in terms of what I’m doing and how I’m impacting people.

And it’s a great place to be. That’s awesome, Ryan. So we’ve heard your story. At least part of it. We just got a quick summary of where you are today. Where’s Ryan headed next and how can we help you get there? That’s a great question. Yeah. So where I’m headed next is I’m writing a book right now which is based on my entrepreneurial story and also the five step framework that I shared earlier.

It’s gonna be the basis of the book. So I’m doing that and I’m also working on becoming more of a speaker. So I haven’t done a ton of in person speaking, but I feel like that’s kind of the next thing that God is calling me to is to get on stages and, and share my story and impact people in that way.

So really [01:10:00] it’s that in the book. And then also working on starting a high level in person mastermind, those are kind of the next steps, at least in terms of business for me, and then also Brittany and I don’t have any kids yet, but we know that that’s right around the corner as. Awesome. Well, we can’t help you with that one.

but we can support you. Somebody wants to get ahold of you for coaching or for mastermind for more information to continue the conversation. What’s the best way to reach you, Ryan. Yeah, best way to reach me is to go to my website, which is coach Ryan horn.com. Excellent. And as always, we’ll put all these links in the show notes.

And when this episode airs, whether you’re looking in Spotify or Google or on our website, you can just click in the show notes and have all the links. So, Ryan, thank you for being here today. My friend from your birth through today, is there anything else we missed or anything you wanna discuss before we wrap up today’s episode?

Oh man. [01:11:00] I think we’ve definitely covered a lot. The one thing that I, I would say I wanna leave people with is that failure is not final. Like it’s actually a stepping stone on your way to success. Those are powerful words. Failure is not final. And you said they’re the stepping stone to success. Yep, man.

Meditate on that ladies and gentlemen and everybody else. No. So I appreciate you being here today, Ryan. Thank you so much. You truly are a remarkable guy and I consider you a friend. I look forward to consi, to continuing the friendship and conversation to our listeners, just like Ryan and I discussed in this episode, as you hear in every episode of the podcast, don’t just listen to this great information Ryan shared, but do the parts that apply to you.

Repeat it each day. So you can have a great life in this world. And more importantly, in eternity attorney, you come. So I’m David Pasco alone. [01:12:00] That was Mr. Ryan Horn. We love you. We wish you only the best and we’ll see you in the next episode, Ryan. Thank you again, brother. Yeah. Thanks for having me on David.

Oh, anytime C.

 

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