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When sudden tragedy strikes and you’re lost. Some tips on what to do, and not to do Dealing with Loss.

Sadly we’ve all been there. Life’s going “good”, we had a great day, then BAM!… pain, loss, or sudden tragedy strikes. It’s been said many times, by many people, in many different ways,

We’re either in hardship, coming out of it, or about to go in. – original author unknown

With that said, here are some practical Do’s and Don’t of working through tragedy and coming out the other side a better, stronger, healthier person.

Do’s of dealing with Tragedy, Loss, and Sudden Hardships

  1. Take Your Time to Process the Situation. Normally when things happen suddenly we react in our default state. Typically our default state is an immature, naive, and self preserving reaction to how we survived as a child and young adult. If we are not careful, all of our years of learning, wisdom, and understanding go out the window in these moments and we react with a short-term focus. What we need to Do though is:
    • Evaluate what is really going on.
    • Be honest about what our part in the situation is. How can we learn and grow from this so it doesn’t happen again? (typically applicable, not always though. i.e. In the case of the sudden death of a loved one)
    • Acknowledge and Accept the things outside of our control. A process that is often easier said than done.
  2. Take action in the areas we need to at that time; nothing more. Often when our world is in chaos, we not only try to take back control of our lives. While this is sometimes necessary, more than not we act in overkill and try to control events, people, and circumstances that we shouldn’t. Excessive cleaning, micro-management of others, and a harsh judgemental spirit overtake us. We feel like we need to act in every area or more “bad” things will happen. In these times the best thing to do typically is the minimum. Do only what you HAVE to do, and wait on everything else. Verses that always helped keep me focused and balanced are:
    • Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. Psalm 46:10

      Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.Psalm 27:14

Don’ts of dealing with Tragedy, Loss, and Sudden Hardships

  1. Don’t make important life decisions when you are in trauma. Get all the facts, do what you need to do, but again, do nothing more. Too many times we have a knee-jerk reaction when we are in stress and make short-term decisions that have long-term consequences we will regret later. Telling someone off that “deserves it”, selling a property because money is tight, granting someone with ill-intent a power-of-attorney, filing for divorce… the list goes on and on. Get to a safe place, allow yourself time to heal, and process things as needed. Don’t be in a rush. Time with positive influence and counsel heals all wounds. You may still have an ugly scar, but you will heal.
  2. Don’t just talk with “Friends”. So often people are in a low spot in life and they seek counsel from people who truly don’t care, are unqualified, or flat out have selfish intentions. Seek Godly and wise counsel. People who have not only experienced the same circumstance(s), but emerged a better person from it.
    • For instance, if you are in financial hardship, don’t just speak with your friend, speak with experts. Yes, experts plural. Seek out as many qualified opinions as you can, bt take your time to process the information and pray about it. Yes, I said pray about it. You may be reading this and do not believe in God, but that doesn’t mean he is not real. He loves you and only wants what is best for you. Hardships, pain, and trauma are not caused by God. They are caused ultimately by satan, our own lusts and desires, and other people. I’m in no way saying what is happening to you is your fault, but we need to examine ourselves, make sure we are making the right decisions, and not listening to unwise counsel. This goes for all areas of life, not just financial. However, if you are struggling with the pressures of foreclosure, talk with experts like Buy My House Guru. They are licensed realtors, not just home buyers. They legally have to tell you all the facts, lay out your real options, and let you make the final decision. And you should because you are the one who has to live with the outcome.
    • Dealing with crazy life circumstances, betrayal, family dysfunction? Try a fantastic and balanced life coach and licensed mental health professional like Rob Jackson.


Hope this short article helped you gain some clarity in your situation and can help you if you’re in sudden tragedy or pain, or when sudden tragedy strikes. And rest assured, you WILL get through this. Don’t let temporary pain (and yes, even life is temporary) lead you to make a bad permanent decision. And if it helps, here’s a link to another article I wrote years ago on pain, Why We Feel Pain. Hope this help you too.

In Love and Peace, Your Friend,
David Pasqualone

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