Fire Drills for Our Mind, Turning Situations Around Quickly, & Answering the Why Me Question with Zehra Mahoon

Depression arranged marriage, spontaneous coffee being left in Canada. Fire drills for our mind and the gas cap that changed it all.

Hello friends. Whether you’re a first time listener or one of our remarkable community members, we are so excited you’re here today. Today’s guest is gonna talk to us about how she learned the hard way, how to turn the why me [00:01:00] attitude and thought process. Into prosperity. And she goes through how it wasn’t instantaneous and it took her years, but after learning it, the change can be instantaneous for us all.

So you are going to hear today from Zara Maun, and Zara is gonna talk to us about her life from childhood growing up, how she was put into an arranged marriage, how that did not end well. How the, she then went and found. The man of her life, she thought moved to Canada. That turned out bad. And then she explains how life turned around.

She picked up the pieces and she’s in a better place than ever. So just like our slogan says, don’t just listen to this great episode, but do the good parts. Repeat ’em each day so you can have a great life in this world and an attorney to come. So, Is [00:02:00] a great woman. She’s a coach, she’s an author, she’s a consultant.

She has a background, as you’ll hear in the episode. In a ton of expertise. So she is a well learned woman who’s bringing you great content to apply to your life. And on that note, before we jump into the episode, don’t forget about the remarkable people book, how they did it, and you can too. We have 12 authors from the podcast that chipped in, wrote a chapter of the book Each.

And each chapter is a laser focus. Topic that they not only explain how they overcame or achieve what they did regarding that topic, but they break it down into pral steps so you can too. The last page of every chapter, just in case you miss something, is a checklist. So after you go through the chapter ones, read it, read it again, take your notes and get ready to apply.[00:03:00]

But in case you miss something, you got a 1 2, 3 checklist to kill it in life and to overcome and to release that hero inside of you. So, I’m David Paone. I’m excited about the book. I’m excited about this episode. And more than anything, I’m excited how it’s all gonna impact your life for the better. So right now, get your pens and paper ready and let’s enjoy this remarkable episode with Zara.

[00:03:27] Copy of RPP Zehra Mahoon 19 Dec 2022 INTERVIEW 1: Hey Zara, how are you today? Fabulous. How are you man? I’m doing great. I’m looking forward to talking to you. Just told our audience a little bit about you, so they’re pumped to hear your episode. So let’s do this, right? Yes absolutely. Yeah. So before we get started, I want to ask you the big important question.

People are listening to podcasts and they found this episode and they are thinking, [00:04:00] why should I listen? And we’re gonna share, like our regular listeners know, we’re gonna go through your entire life stories, the highs, the lows, the everything in between. There’s gonna be gold nuggets all throughout your story, and we’re gonna cover different topics.

But if our listeners today, We’re gonna walk away with one message that you can say, this is what I want them to take away. What would that be? Any situation you are in that you want to turn around, you can do it very quickly. Beautiful. Anything? Anything? Well, let’s do it then, cuz that’s how many people, how many of us?

Me personally. Everybody needs that at times, if not every day. So Zara, let’s do. Where were you born? What was your upbringing like? Let’s just start off at the beginning. I was born in Pakistan and for the first few years of my life I wasn’t, I, I didn’t spend all my time in Pakistan. So when I was [00:05:00] born, I was there and then my parents left o and were, they were overseas, came back and I, and I went to school in Pakistan.

Okay. For a couple of, . My parents traveled a lot for work. My father traveled, and so we were in one country for a couple of years and then back home to Pakistan, and then we would travel again, and even we traveled. We stayed for a couple of years in that other country. Okay. Now, were you an only child or did you have brothers and sisters?

No, I have a brother. I do have a brother. Older or younger? Younger. Okay. . Mm-hmm. . Yeah. And then your home life with the traveling, was it exciting? Was it just the way life was for you? Was it stressful? Like, what was that like in your family? It was fun, as far as I’m concerned. I, I enjoyed it. The only part of it that in the beginning was difficult, was leaving my friends behind.

So I’d go, go somewhere, make new [00:06:00] friends, and then three, four years later, you’re saying goodbye to. and we didn’t have email . Yes, we didn’t have FaceTime. So that way it was tough. But after a while, I started getting excited about meeting new friends and having the old friends become pen pals with me. So it worked out in the end.

All right. Well right there is a good talking point for people who are transient or you know, maybe cuz they’re families or the military all sorts of situations that would make you move a lot. What are some tips that you’re like, man, I wish I told myself, you know, my five year old self, my 10 year old self, my 15 year old self.

What would you tell that young lady today to help her adapt and overcome to the. Well, I my own experience was that it was fun to meet people from different places and get to [00:07:00] know them and get to know their culture and how they thought a little bit differently. But underlying, I found that everyone’s the same.

People are the same everywhere, and there are good people everywhere. You can time. I think the problem is when you’re scared because you don’t know where you’re going, what will you find? Will you find people who are like you that you can really enjoy being with? And once you start discovering that there’s good people everywhere, then it’s like, it’s exciting.

It’s like you’ve got this oyster and you can start collecting all the. Going from place to place. So I meet a lot of friends and I’m still in touch with a lot of the friends that I meet when I was younger, and it’s exciting. That is exciting. That and that to stay in touch. That’s fantastic. Especially back then you didn’t have [00:08:00] smartphones like you said, or Zoom or FaceTime.

That’s great. It helps to have an unusual name. People can find you . Yeah. Yes, exactly. So. Well, okay, so now you’re kind of moving around. Anything in those first few years of life that’s remarkable and remarkable meaning worth commenting on that influenced who you are today? Absolutely. In fact, I think there was a very big influence on, on me and that influence was that I noticed that everywhere I went, people were different in the way they did things, but they thought they were right.

Everyone was. and everyone was calling the other person wrong. And I think that that really made me wonder who really is right? And what is, what does it mean to be right? And why do people fight? Because from a child’s point of view, I didn’t really think that there was anything to fight about. [00:09:00] And yet there were people who had really big differences.

I remember we were at one point in time, we were in a country where my father was. He got on a taxi to go to work and the taxi driver, after he asked him a couple of questions and found out that he was from Pakistan, stopped the the taxi and told my father to get off. He refused to drive him.

You know, like this is, this is not the dark ages. This is, this is modern world, and it’s just very surprising that people can behave like that. Yes. I remember my father coming home and telling us what happened to him this morning, and we were just like, really? People can do things like that. Like why would you do that?

Yeah. And it’s, and what country were [00:10:00] you in at the, were you in at the time? Hmm. Do you really want me to tell you what country that was? It was Iran. It was Iran. It was Iran. Iran. Iran. Okay. Yes. Well, and that’s just it. I agree with you completely. There’s one race, the human race. Yes. But within the world, there’s different countries and cultures and there’s nationalism, there’s bias in idiots of all nations.

And even there, even in Pakistan, I had that problem because my parents I went to a Catholic convent. The convent ran a day school for girls. Mm-hmm. . And that’s where I went to study my, my brother went to the adjacent boys school. He went, I went to St. Josephs. He, he went to St. Paul’s and they were side by side.

And what I found was so interesting about that experience was that.

What I heard in the [00:11:00] school was totally different from what I heard outside the school, and I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why that was. Because when, when you listen to the media or you listen to popular opinion, popular opinion is that if you’re not Muslim, you’re going to hell. And, and in my school at the convent,

I had the most beautiful nuns who were so loving and giving, and my class was mostly Catholic and they were my friends, and I couldn’t understand why such nice people would have to go to hell just because they were Catholic. Yeah, in a Muslim country, right? Yes. So, so I, I used to think about these things.

I used to wonder about these. and I was not satisfied. When I asked questions about things like this that I was thinking about, I wasn’t satisfied with the answers that I [00:12:00] was getting. So I got to a point where I stopped asking, well, it didn’t stop really, but. , I guess slow down on the answers. And I started reading a lot.

I was an avid reader, even as a child, so I just started reading a lot. I would read a lot trying to find the answers. I would explore different cultures, different religions. I was very excited about meeting people from different religions because I wanted to figure out why there were differences and was there any grounds to it.

and that’s what brought me to law for attraction in the end. Yeah, that’s, and that’s so true because I was talking to someone a few months back and it came up again just this week this weekend, and now you’re talking about it. But if you really think about humans, we’re broken, we’re falling, we have a sinful nature.

God loves us. I mean, it’s perfect. But if you. [00:13:00] Forget people fight within their family. Yes. But if, but if you had people, like let’s say you could actually have a family that didn’t have division. Right. Which is I picking impossible. Go back. Can’t. And Abel, right. It started at the beginning. It continues through.

Yep. But if you’re not arguing with your family, you’re arguing with your neighbor. , if you’re not arguing with your neighbor, you’re arguing with the kids on the next street growing up. Right. Then if you’re not arguing with the kids in your street, in your block, oh, it’s, you got the north and the south, or the east versus the west.

Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . . People are always creating conflict differences. Yes, and I was joking around with them, but I’m serious. You know right now you have countries, fighting countries. Well, if we could fight aliens, we’d unite and fight aliens. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. It’s like there’s always that broken relation. Mm-hmm.

who’s. I’m right. Exactly. Exactly. You know, like who’s right. Everyone thinks that they are. Right. But at the end of the day, I find that human beings are the same everywhere. I’ve, I’ve been to so many countries and what I know to be true is everyone has the same [00:14:00] hopes and dreams. Everyone wants love, everyone wants help.

Everyone wants to be wealthy. The people’s desires are very simple. At the end of the day, we all want the same things. Yeah. Yeah. I. Again, I agree with you. I think everybody might describe it differently or they might Yes, that’s right. Have a different background. But like Noah’s flood in the Bible, I, I come at everything from a Christian worldview.

Yeah. But there’s not a culture in the world through the 7,000 years of recorded history that hasn’t cited global Exactly. Flood. That’s right. Yeah. So the fact is there was a global flood. Yeah. Now how we interpret the facts or how we credit the facts, that can be different. But the truth is the truth, there was a flood.

So I believe the Bible and somebody might believe different. So I always look at life as you could be right, and I’m wrong. I could be right and you’re wrong. We’re both wrong and God’s always right.

[00:14:55] Copy of RPP Zehra Mahoon 19 Dec 2022 INTERVIEW 2: So I think that we really have to stand back [00:15:00] and respect that people can have different opinions. And it’s not about being right or wrong, it’s just about being happy. You are happy being who you are. I don’t need to ask you to change. I’m happy with being who I am and you should not ask me to change.

We should just let people be who they are and be okay with that and not want to create rules and regulations that take away people’s individual freedom. Now when you live in harmony. Yes. To live in harmony. So when you were a child, you’re seeing this Yes. And it’s developing. So start going through your story of how this continued the last part of your story.

How old were you when your father got, he got Kicked out of the taxi, 10, 10, 10, 10, and then you’re going to Catholic school. But they’re like, you’re not a Muslim, you’re a horrible [00:16:00] person. Or you know, it’s, yeah. So so I can, I I, I used to ask all these questions and the one question that was really big in my mind was, how can the same entity that we call God be loving at the same time be an angry God that’s vengeful.

And you know, like it can’t be both ways and there can’t be favoritism. So the way I saw people practicing religion, both in the convent and outside the con con convent, people were trying to almost bribe God or please God. And, and the question in my head was, but, If God runs the entire universe, then God has to have a system and be extremely fair.

There can’t be favoritism. It has to be fair to every single person. So I [00:17:00] was always asking questions about why certain people were struggling and other people were not struggling, why someone was sick, why another person was not sick. And I was, I was confused. I was totally confused because I didn’t understand how what was I supposed to do so that I would have a good life so that I could be happy because God seemed like a spritz sonic entity who kept changing his or her mind.

Mm-hmm. . And so my dilemma was, I need to understand. So that I can prosper, I can try and, and I had this ever since I was a child, like in my teenagers, I was like, okay, I need to understand, because everyone tells me whether I’m at school in, in the convent or I’m at home, people are telling me I need to make God happy.

But what makes God happy? Because I see people who are working [00:18:00] so hard and they’re good people, but they’re not, they’re not getting the gifts that life should be able to give them. And then there are people that are not doing anything to please God. They don’t pray, they don’t give, they’re not generous.

Why are they prospering? It didn’t make sense to me the reasons that people learned it. People talked about and taught. Didn’t make sense to me. So I was always in the search for what is God’s system? Cause God’s got to have a system, somebody’s got to know what that system is. I need to find out what that system is because I want to thrive and I want to have a good life.

Now would you talk about this openly with your parents, or was it a, not only ly . Okay. I would try and slip in a question here or there. And what was their, was th were they of [00:19:00] a Christian background? A, a Muslim background? Their parents were Muslim. Muslim background? Yeah. So they were more rigid. This is the way, do not divert.

No, actually, my, my parents were more open-minded than most others, and they were open to having a discussion, but their frame of reference was limited. And they stuck to it. So if you are gonna ask questions that stir up things, you have to be open-minded enough to accept other points of view. You cannot be stuck in your point of view.

You’ve got to be open to receiving information that possibly you, you were not familiar with before and take it for what it’s, and my parents had their limitations, but I was able to talk to them. And I think that the fact that they couldn’t satisfy me actually urged me on to [00:20:00] keep looking. An example that I will give you, I remember this having this discussion with my mother and I was very young.

I was younger than 10 years old. This is when I was maybe 7, 6, 7, 8, in that, Age range. I came home from school one day and I asked her a question because we had studied something at school that said that the prophet, that that after the death of Jesus and Mohammed, there will be no other prophets sent to mankind to help mankind sought out life.

And I asked my mother, why? Why would God do that? Why would God say there’s going to be no more prophets? Doesn’t God want to help people anymore? Like, why is that? And my mother was not able to satisfy me. She’s not able to gimme a satisfactory answer. So all these, I had all [00:21:00] these questions collecting in my mind, like, why can’t people receive guidance from God?

Why? Why do we need to have someone intercede for us? Why can’t God talk to me directly and tell me what I need to do? Why does it have to come through a priest? So I had all these really controversial questions that I would ask my parents at at times, but I, I think I thought about it more often and I figured that my questions were not popular.

And so a lot of times I wouldn’t ask them, but I would keep thinking about these things. Yeah. And those are good questions that most adults don’t think about, let alone children. So from like a Christian worldview, there are answers to those and it’s like, you know, at the, you know, and we can get into the answers, but basically like when you went on through your life, Like, [00:22:00] were you able to find those answers?

Mm-hmm. cause like and going, yeah, because at when Jesus was a sacrifice for us, you know, God left the Holy Spirit with us, tend to dwell, and then we have the Bible. And that’s something generations before haven’t had. So again, there’s always the facts and the truth and it’s all about the interpretation.

So where does your journey go looking for those answers? Where do you start finding them or how do you start finding that piece? And Joy you were talking about? I read a lot. I kept reading. I, I read a lot. I read a lot of philosophy. I read anything that anyone wrote that had gems of wisdom in it. in the end, what I did discover is that we do have our direct line to God.

God does provide God guidance. There is guidance. I can meditate, I can pray. I will receive my answers. They will come to me sometimes through other people, sometimes through signs [00:23:00] I’ve had. I’ve had a real, real miracles happen in my life that prove to me how all of that works. And so I think that I had to receive that personal proof, and when I received that personal proof, everything settled down for me.

I figured it out. And I think that that’s what everyone needs. We all need our own personal evidence that can help us to establish that thing that everyone talks about that’s so elusive that we call faith and Trust developing that. . And then how did you find over your life to develop that? So were, you’re a child, you’re growing up into teenage years.

You’re asking questions covertly, not overtly. And you’re starting to read and to bring in as much content as you can and sort through, [00:24:00] this is garbage, this is truth. Where keep going on your journey. Well so really in my childhood, I, I think I was curious, but as a young adult, when I was in an arranged marriage and my husband was abusive, he strangled me and my whole life changed in the sense that I became fearful of being there.

So he was physically abusive, but after that, Incident where he strangled me. If his mother hadn’t stepped in to save me, I would’ve died at that time. That’s when it really shook me up. And how old were you then? 23, 22, 23. I’m just trying to keep the timeline going. We didn’t have gaps, but I don’t, I don’t [00:25:00] know if you were 18, if you were 12, you know, , but 23.

Okay. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . So so I ran away from home and I decided to keep the baby because I, I, I thought this is the gift of life, and if I say no to this now, who’s to say I’ll ever be gifted this treasure again? So I de I decided to keep the baby, even though I was advised by a lot of people to not keep the baby, but I did.

And I, and just, just so we know culturally, when you say keep the baby. Keep the baby meaning obviously raise that child versus No, I was advised to have an abortion because I was only two months along so I could have had an abortion. That’s what I was saying. I didn’t know if you might give it to an orphanage.

Yeah, no, no. Well, that too, but I decided I was going to keep my child. I considered that a gift from God and I was going to keep that [00:26:00] gift. But that’s when my questioning really became loud and unbearable because the question in my head was, why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this sort of treatment from God?

Because in my head, whatever was happening to me was not created by man. It was doled out by man, but created by God. So the question was, , why me? Why did this happen to me? I need to figure out what did I do to deserve this? So that’s, that was truly the beginning of an active search for answers. And the A, the search came later.

In the beginning, I was just, I had to stabilize myself because I went into a very deep depression thinking, why me? And not being able to answer that question, why did this happen to me? So [00:27:00] in the beginning, I went into a deep depression. I came out of that depression because I had a child and my child needed me.

So I made my priority becoming financially stable in order to provide my child with a safe and abundant home. So I. Started digging my way out of depression, went to work, created stability, but I would still slip into depression because I would, I, I didn’t stop asking that question, why me? Why is, why is it like this for me?

What did I do to deserve this? Just my, my ability to handle depression improved at, at first I would go into depression and stay there for a year, but then slowly after a while, I was able to talk myself outta it in a couple of days [00:28:00] and see, let’s talk about that. Depression’s something that a lot of people suffer with, and most of the time, , it’s baggage we carry with us where it’s like, this is our expectation.

Yes. And this is our reality. Yes. Now there are chemical things. There are physical injuries. Man, it’s so complex. So I’m never gonna the guy mm-hmm. to say it’s all or nothing. Now it’s not. Yeah. It’s not the same. Every situation is different. My situation was caused by mental trauma. Yes. And just, and just asking this question over and over again, why is my life like this?

What did I do to deserve this? Why am I not one of the people who is happily married and successful and enjoying life with a loving partner? What did I do to deserve this? Because I always, I was always a good little girl. I did everything by the book. Whatever I was told, you know, this is the right way to do things.

I would do it. So my question was, if I was [00:29:00] always doing what was right, how did this. This should not have happened. So God needs to explain to me how did this happen and why me, and what makes it fair? Why did all of this happen? And and so, so fast forward then I kept reading. I was always reading, always reading, always reading.

Maxwell oh, for heaven’s sake, I forget his name. John Maxwell. Yeah. No, not John. John Maxwell. John Maxwell, yes. I read him as well. Anyway it doesn’t matter, the power of gratitude was written by, it’s written by a priest. I, I forget his name. Anyway, I, I read every single book that I could lay my hands on in order to just figure out what life was [00:30:00] all about.

Read a lot and found gems in it, found gems, found read books like The Alchemist in Jonathan Siegel, and, and just listening to people who had had other types of experiences, not necessarily the same as my myself, but I found that even though diversity happened in people’s lives, they were able to turn that around and become successful.

So I got to a point in my life, in my late twenties, early thirties, where it wasn’t so much about finding out why things happened the way they happened to me, but it became more about finding. , how do people turn it around? Those people who have been in worse situations than me, even, how did they turn it around?

And they achieved success [00:31:00] and they achieved happiness, and they achieved all the things that they wanted in life. So I stopped looking backwards and I started looking forward, and that was a big shift. Everything shifted. I had been massively overweight, I lost the weight, I became successful at my work. I became a happy person.

I stopped complaining basically and started looking forward to what can I do? What do I have control over? How can I change things around in my life? And you know, like you talk about or people talk about miracles and, and I always say you have to have your own evidence to start having. Faith and trusting that there is an entity that is out there looking after you.

So one day over the weekend, I had [00:32:00] just finished my workout. It was a nice lazy day at home. I received a phone call. I picked up the phone, said hello, and there was a voice at the other end of someone that I knew, and he said, haven’t seen you for a while, haven’t spoken to you. Would love to take you out for coffee.

Do you think you would go out with me? And I said, yes, of course. I, I I would definitely go out with you. And then he said, well, the thing is I’m right outside your house, so , do you think I can come in? And, and for a minute I was just like, what? How do you even know where I live? How are you outside my house?

It was a, you know, at first I was shocked, but then I was surprised. And, and, and in the next instant, my thought was, well, I didn’t invite him, so God brought him. Alright. I let him in. So I did let him in. [00:33:00] And then I married him . And, and, and you know, like when, when I say you have to have your own proof, these things have happened to me.

And if it was someone else telling me this story, I would think it’s fantastical. But this happened to me. And so now life started changing, you see? Mm-hmm. , and it wasn’t all a bed of roses, but now life started changing. I could see that yes, things can be turned around. It is true. It doesn’t matter what has happened in the past.

It doesn’t matter what your past looks like. It doesn’t matter what ugliness you’ve had to put up with. You can turn things around and it comes from not being a complainer. Practicing, you know, what they say about practice. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. I started realizing that this thing called gratitude really works.

Complaining is really the problem, and it’s not just complaining, it’s fear. [00:34:00] I discovered that the reason the things happened to me in, in the past when I was abused was because I was living my life in fear. I was living my life in fear of making a mistake. And when you live in fear, you are not in a place of gratitude.

You’re always afraid that something’s going to go wrong. You’re always afraid that you won’t be perfect. You’re always afraid that how people are looking at you, how they’re judging you. You’re always afraid when you are afraid. You’re not, you’re not trusting God. You see, fear is the absence of trust,

and I was. Living my life in fear because I was asking all these questions and not getting the answer, which made me fearful because it was like, well, I don’t know the rules of this game called life and I’m expected to play it, but I don’t know what the rules are because it’s not making sense. [00:35:00] Because it seems to me that different people have different sets of rules in different religions and different societies, and all of them think that they’re right.

So who’s right? And I was fearful because I had not figured it out. I was not grateful for the things that I had. I was afraid that things would go wrong. And I discovered that fear is the absence of trust. If you are afraid of things, you really have to stop and figure it out because it is gonna come invite you in the but, so even though I was a good little girl, I was afraid, and that was the issue.

I was a good little girl who didn’t practice gratitude and talk more about what is, this sounds like such a stupid question, but I think people really, there’s thankfulness and there’s gratitude and there’s appreciation. Mm-hmm. , but when you say gratitude mm-hmm. , you’re in a mental space, but you [00:36:00] understand exactly what that means.

Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . But there’s sadly the majority of people mm-hmm. Are like, okay, I know what gratitude is. Mm-hmm. , I’m grateful. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . But it’s more than that. Describe gratitude. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . You’re right. There’s more to that. First of all just like any other emotion you can be a little angry or a lot angry.

You can be a little in love or, you know, just madly in love. There are shades to every emotion, and so thankfulness, gratitude and appreciation are shades of the same emotion. They’re, they’re shades of the same emotion. So here’s the difference. I am thankful

means that somebody did something for me, whether it was God or another person. So I’m thankful. Gratitude means, again, I’m grateful. I don’t know if I deserved it [00:37:00] or not, but I’m grateful. Thank you for doing this. For me, appreciation is the most pure of the emotions because it’s not linked to anything. I just, I appreciate you because you are who you are, not because you did something for me.

So appreciation is the highest form of what we call gratitude, but I wanna bring it all to a summary really, and that is appreciation and gratitude are really a vibration. The frequency varies. With the level of purity of the emotion. So I, I, I sometimes use the word tainted love, and I, I want to explain, so appreciation can be tainted as well, because appreciation and love are very similar.

So tainted love is, I love my son, but as I start thinking about him, I, I think equally about all the things that make me [00:38:00] happy about him and all the things that made make me angry about him. Now, anger is an absence of love. When you are angry, that’s a withdrawal of love. That’s a withdrawal of appreciation for the person.

So we say we love someone, but they, it’s not pure love because it’s a mixed bag of some good and some bad. So you really. To forgiveness comes in here because when something happens that you don’t quite like, you’ve got to forgive and forget it so that it’s no longer part of your vibration. And now the vibration of appreciation and love is pure.

I say that the best appreciation is appreciation for nature because I’ve never had a fight with the tree. I have no history with it. So I can appreciate, I have pure love and appreciation for the beauty of the tree, [00:39:00] the work that it does, because I have no history. When we have history with people or things or places that history, we really have to clean that history up and eliminate all the negative from it in order to be purely in love.

Because love is a very pure emotion. . It should not be linked with any taking. I, and I say this, one of my headlines is, love is a one-way street. Most of the time people think love way. Love should be a two-way street. You give me and I give you, no, no, no, I, I am in love with you. That means I will just give you and give you, and give you and give you more without expectation of return.

That is the highest, most pure form of love. That is the kind of love that we need to start having for that entity that we call God or [00:40:00] universe or whatever you want to call it. That’s you’ve got to clean up your act, clean up your history with God, clean up your history with the universe and stop blaming them, him, them.

Depends where you are coming from, but you’ve got to stop guilt and blame. Guilt that I didn’t do something that I should have done for God blame that God didn’t look after me. Because if you have guilt and blame in your vibration with respect to that entity that you think is all powerful, your your love, your appreciation, your gratitude is not your, and when your gratitude and appreciation toward that power becomes pure, nothing can stand in your way because now you actually have access to the power of that which you call God [00:41:00] and standing to that part, that is the journey.

Yes. And you were about how old at this point in life when you’re discovering this? Oh, I’d say fast forward another 10 years. So it took me another 10 years to start, to start figuring it out. . Okay, now I don’t figuring out happened in a period of 10 years. Yeah. So me and the listeners are dying to dig in into the vibrations and the frequency and the attraction and you know, how the steps of practically, how you use that to get outta depression.

But before we do, between that age, your husband comes by and says, can I come up for coffee? Which as a dad, I’m like, that’s crazy. Don’t let him in. But it obviously worked out for you, but a lot of times that would be a stalker and a murder, death kill episode. So I’m glad it was, he was a good man and he takes care of you.

But between then and today, is there anything else significant in your [00:42:00] life that you want to cover before we dig into the teaching of, okay, this is how you do it for you. Like if you’re listening and you’re struggling with depression, this is how we make it real hands on. But in your personal journey and walk, where do you go from meeting your husband?

So from Mary. Okay, so, so we got married and at that point we came to Canada. I discovered after we got married that my husband was actually Canadian. And he was a Canadian immigrant and his entire family was in Canada. So after we got married, he he was, he was a very high ranking officer in a, in a government organization where he received a couple of death threats and we decided, okay, it’s time to go to Canada,

Gotcha. So, [00:43:00] so he left his job. He came to Canada and I followed later. And so now again, a, a new chapter in our. Started where there was a lot of contrast in the sense that we came here, there was no work, there was no money. So we had to make things work. We were also in a blended family where I had my daughter, he had a son.

So we had all of those emotions and things also playing a part in there. And again, all, all the time, my thinking never stops. I’m always thinking, why this? Why me? How do I fix this? What I, what should I be doing? And so there was a period of having to settle down in Canada and figuring it out. And attitude makes all the difference.

When you, when you believe that you know, [00:44:00] you, you are going to be okay because God has your back. The universe has your back. Nothing gets in the way. , we didn’t have any trouble settling down. We had trouble with the kids. We had other kinds of things that we had to get through. Like any, any couple. We had our ups and downs, but then contrast hit again in a big way.

And what happened is my mother became sick back home in Pakistan. I was pregnant with my son. And while all of this was going on and we were sorting out life in Canada, my husband had an affair when I discovered, when I discovered. So at this point in time, we were probably married four or five years.

He had an affair. When I discovered this affair, [00:45:00] I tried to use forgiveness. I tried to. What I knew at that point in time of trust and faith, I tried everything that I knew at that time, but I could not let go of the anger. I could not let go of feeling again, that why is this happening to me? And so we decided to end our marriage after I think we, we’d been married six, seven years, we decided to end our marriage.

And so now another set of circumstances started for me in which he, at that point in time when we ended our marriage, he conveniently left Canada. So I had no access to spousal support or child support from. And I had been the one who was at [00:46:00] home. I was the homemaker. He was the one earning, so I didn’t have work and I didn’t have money.

And he had left me with debt. So that Now did he leave you, you had your son and you were pregnant with another son? No, I had my daughter. Oh, your daughter. And I had a daughter and I had already had my son. He was almost two years old when my husband left. And did your husband take his child with him or did he leave his child?

His, his child at that point in time went to live with one of his sisters. So his and my husband, my ex, he, he left Canada. So now I had a new set of circumstances but I had achieved my objective, which was that he should leave our son with me. So I had the custody of my son, but now a new journey started where I was in a new country relatively, [00:47:00] and I had to establish myself and provide for the kids.

So that whole thing started again. Why me? Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? And that whole cycle started again. And my search for answers continued. So one day, and this is, I’m going to tell you a little story. This, this thing changed everything for me. I was I got, I got recruited.

It was an interesting journey. I met someone that someone introduced me to someone else and that someone else asked me to come and work with her. And she was in a commissioned role in the financial industry. I had some background. in finance from Pakistan. I had been working in the financial industry.

She said, you come and work with me. So I did. And it was a commission sales job. [00:48:00] So one morning I was slated to meet a really important client. This client was, it was a big commission. It was going to pay for everything for the next few months and a few months in the past. So this was a really important client.

I was going to see this client and I stopped at the gas station to get gas before going into the office. And he called while I was at the gas station and he called off the appointment. He said some things come up. He made an excuse. And I said, can we reschedule? And he said, no, I’ll let you know when we can reschedule.

And it just destroyed me because I was so counting on this deal, giving me the commission that I needed in order to. Pay for things and yeah, just stabilize myself. So I cried. I got my gas, I got on the highway. I went [00:49:00] in, it was, it was like a 45 minute drive into work. And trust me, I don’t drive at the recommended speed.

Yeah. And what year was this now? Was this after 2000 because you had a cell phone? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This was this was 2007. Okay. Oh, so it was right when the bubble was crashing, a housing and everything just before that? Yes. Yeah. Okay. 2007. And, and so I maybe 2006, but 2006, 2007. Anyway, so I went to work.

I had a full day. I had to meet some clients, so I was driving around in city. Then I came back and. all day. There was a cloud over my head. It was like, why is, again, the same question? Why me? Why did this happen to me? And on my way back, I got off the highway and I decided [00:50:00] to stop to get some groceries.

There’s this grocery store that I used to go to that was right off the highway. Stop there, went inside, had two bags of grocery came out, and the ground was wet. The car keys were in my pocket. So I, I wanted to put one of the bags down so that I can grab the car keys. I decided to put this one bag on the trunk of the car, and when I put the bag on the trunk of the car, I almost fainted.

I almost like I had a heart attack. It was just, I couldn’t believe what I saw. I trembled from head to toe. I almost dropped the other bag. And I just, I just had threes streaming down my face and I, and I was very conscious that people were looking at me, but what I saw was nothing short of America. And the [00:51:00] reason , I’ll tell you the reason, is because that morning when I had filled the tank with gas, well, I hadn’t filled it.

I just got way little gas enough to get me into town and back. But I was driving an old clunker and the cap for the gas tank, it was not attached. You know, usually you have this card that attaches it to the tank. It was not attached. And I was used to pacing the cap in the crevice between the trunk and the windshield.

The back windshield. Mm-hmm. , that cap was sitting there in that crevice.

and when I saw that, because I have a science background, I understand physics, I couldn’t believe it. It it could. There was someone holding that there otherwise [00:52:00] it could not have stayed there as I was on the expressway going 45 minute drive, coming back, 45 minute drive, driving within town, turning left.

Right. Whatever. Yeah. That cap should have been long gone. It should have been gone before I left the gas station in the morning. Yep. That first turn. Yes, exactly. If you’ve ever put anything on your car, you know how quickly they’re gone. . I did that with a laptop one time. It was crazy. Oh my God. I’ve done it with a cell phone, but it goes so quickly.

Right, but why, how, and this is such a light thing. It’s not attached, it’s not magnetic. There’s no way this gas cap can be sitting on the trunk of my car. It’s just, it [00:53:00] defies, and I didn’t have the wherewithal at that point in time to take a picture. I should have taken a picture, but I can tell you every time I tell the story, I go right back there.

Every time I have my faith weakens and waivers, I go right back there because that was God talking directly to me. That was my personal miracle that told me that when I pray somebody out there is listening. Mm-hmm. . that changed my attitude. Again, it’s so, it’s all about change of attitude. When this thing happened with my, my husband having an affair, my mother being so sick, and she passed away in 2006 again, I was, I wasn’t thankful anymore.

I was cribbing and complaining and angry, even though I should have had so [00:54:00] much to be grateful for. I wasn’t grateful. I was angry that I had to come to Canada. I was supposed to come to Canada. I had a very good job in, in Pakistan. I was supposed to come to Canada now. My mother was sick. I couldn’t see her.

I was cri that I was pregnant with a baby and having to manage the emotions of a young daughter of my own and his son, and not having enough money for all our bills because we were starting a new life in Canada. So many things. I was cribbing, I was complaining again. And when this event happened, I came to my senses again and I was like, okay, you gotta stop cribbing and complaining.

You gotta start becoming grateful and appreciative again because you know better now. And so [00:55:00] but this time I had powerful proof. I had my own personal miracle that is now my anchor. I always go back to that event. That’s a very important event in my life. But the beautiful thing about this event that happened for me is that now the happening of such events became common.

It became like an everyday. , many such things would happen. Unexplainable things, unexplainably wonderful things would fit into place. And I believe it’s just because I changed my attitude and attitude of gratitude, right? Mm-hmm. . And so so from being in that place where things [00:56:00] were not good, I became star performer, financially successful, amazing.

Good life, happy my children thriving, everything good. Bought a big house, moved into it. And then my husband came to visit and he said, you had custody of our son. We had actually, in writing, we had joint custody, but my sons lived with. My son was at around six years old. At that time, my ex came to Canada and said, you’ve had him for six years.

I’m returning to Canada now, and I want him now. So I’ll be back at in June and I’m going to take him away. And it just destroyed me completely. I went that depression that I hadn’t been in for many years. I went back into that deep darkness. I [00:57:00] couldn’t adjust to the fact that my son was going to be taken away.

I stopped working. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t think. As a result, I started digging a financial hole because I wasn’t able to work. There was no money coming in because I was commissioned. So there was no money coming in again. I started digging a hole under my. again, I became a complainer.

Why me? Why is this happening? How can I prevent it? Who’s going to help me? How am I gonna figure this out? And in the end, what happened is that my husband did come and he took my son away. It destroyed me completely. But from those ashes, I’ve changed my way of thinking or talking to myself, and instead of saying, oh my God, this terrible thing is going to happen, I started saying, well, you know, he’s not a baby anymore.

He’s six years old. If he really wants to come home, he can kick up such a fu [00:58:00] that his father will have no choice but to bring him home. He is old enough now that I don’t have to worry about whether or not he’ll be fed or not, because he’s big enough to ask for food when he’s hungry. I don’t have to worry about him so much.

I’ve taught him how to look after himself. He’s going to be fine. And isn’t it wonderful that I actually have some time to myself where I can do things that have been on hold for me for a very long time. So good if he’s with his father, I have some freedom now. And so I changed my attitude and then one day my son called me.

He’d been away for, I don’t know, couple of weeks, and he called me and he said, mom, mama. I was talking to daddy and I told Daddy, he needs to be more like you,

It was the cutest thing he could have said, and it just changed everything for me. When he said those words, [00:59:00] it changed everything for me. It lifted my spirits, it made me happy, and I started focusing on, on my work again. Fast forward three months, one day I got a call from my ex saying, I’m bringing him home.

I’m bringing Ferris home. And I said, okay, well maybe he’s coming for, sorry. He thought, okay, he’s bringing him for a visit, but he comes to my doorstep with the car. Everything that he had taken away, he brought back and he brought my son back and he said, here you go. You can have him back. School is opening and I am.

I found a job. I’m going back to work. I can’t look after him when I’m working. And I was like, yes, and you expect me to . Yeah. But anyway, I got what I wanted. My son was back. I was happy. However, however, during those six [01:00:00] torturous months, I had dug a financial hole that was so big that it was impossible for me to crawl out of.

And so now I had a new problem and that problem was. . If I can’t look after things, I’m going to have to go bankrupt. And that is just not an option because I will lose my business license and and will be penny less again. So now started a whole new chapter of my life where again, I had to lean on faith.

I had to talk to God and ask for guidance. I had to do things that I knew I had to do, and there were some difficult decisions that needed to be made, but I made those decisions without a complaint. In fact, I was so in appreciation because God brought my son back home [01:01:00] to me that I was singing and in praise all the time.

And I believe firmly that it was that return to faith. That saved me. Not only saved me, but from there started a journey of abundance where my financial situation completely changed, completely changed, and I am so appreciative of everything that happened after that because it absolutely changed my life.

I started sharing everything that people started asking me for advice, and because I was in the financial industry, I was helping people make financial decisions. I started advising them based on faith and trust and what I had learned. About appreciation and gratitude and looking at things differently.

So what I had learned [01:02:00] on the spiritual side became part of my practice as a financial advisor, and my business thrived absolutely. But what started happening was that people started coming to me for advice on all sorts of things, not just finance. And I found myself often advising on relationships and you know, what to do.

And, and teaching people how to use gratitude, how to use all the things that I did, how to meditate, how to use appreciation, wake up and, you know, set your intention for the day. All those things that I had taught myself, I started teaching other people. And that’s how my business as an and spiritual teacher started.

Because it started taking up so much of my time that I had to put a price tag on it. In the beginning it was just, I was doing it for fun, I [01:03:00] was doing it because I knew I could help people. But when it started taking so much time that I couldn’t do my financial business, I put a price tag on it and this year I transitioned into it full-time and I let go the working for the financial institution that I was working for.

Man. That’s awesome. Praise God. And good for you. So now for our listeners, there’s so much we covered, but let’s try to focus in on. The journey out. So you said at the beginning you’re gonna learn how you can not only change your situation, but you can do it fast. Yeah. And it doesn’t matter if it’s financial, emotional especially with depression, we talked a lot about, you know, we all have strengths and weaknesses and mm-hmm.

if depression’s one of our weaknesses, that’s what sand tries to hook us with. And we might be good for a couple years and he comes back and cranks it up. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . So just out of the blue sometimes you’re just like, wow, I’m really down. Mm-hmm. , you gotta think through. So [01:04:00] no matter how deep somebody is right now or how they got there mm-hmm.

what would you say are the steps to start getting out? So like, we know, like, okay, you said be grateful, be thankful, but how do you do that? What’s it practically look like? Mm-hmm. , like, do you get up and do you say something five times? Do you make sure you’re setting alarms on your phone? Like what’s the real practical, applicable, how do you break free from depression?

depression is a really difficult one, and I can say that it was not easy. What helped me, couple of things. First of all, depression is because we don’t see our lives going anywhere. We see ourselves as failures in some respect or the other. And looking back on my life, having a [01:05:00] goal that was bigger than my life is what got me out of depression

because if you keep thinking about your life, you can’t get out of it. It’s, it’s like one of those whirlpool things that once you get caught in that it just keeps sucking you. . Mm-hmm. . But if you stop thinking about your life and you start thinking about something else, that is the way you can get out of depression.

Because the more we think about our own life, the more sucked in we get. So a couple of things that I did that helped me to get out of depression was, one was volunteer work. Well volunteer to help people who were less than, had less than were in worse place than I [01:06:00] was, made me feel off value, took my attention off of my own life and put it on something bigger than number two, having my children got me out of depression.

When your child needs you, you can’t be. When you have a baby who can’t do anything for themselves, you’ve got to find the strength to get out of bed and look after your child. And when, and for me, my children are really important, and if my children need me, nothing else matters. So my children also gave me the impetus to live life.

Otherwise, if I didn’t have my children, I probably, I would’ve dug a hole somewhere and, you know, just given up. I did not give up because my goal was not just for me, it was for them. So having a purpose. [01:07:00] Yes. Having a purpose that’s bigger than just you. Yep. And then combined with that self-talk, how do you talk to yourself?

What are you saying to yourself all day? What you are saying to yourself is really important. And over the period of time I developed what I call the paradigm of the six thinking choices. Every minute of the day we are making a choice and there are only six choices that you can possibly make about the direction of your thought.

So you can think about the past, the present, or the future. That’s all. Where else are you going to go? There’s no up, down, it’s past, present, or future. But in the past you can go negative or positive in the now. You can go negative or positive. In the future, you can go negative or positive, and those are your six thinking [01:08:00] choices.

So when I, I went into depression because I thought things have never worked for me. Look at where I am now. This is a horrible place to be. Why me? I looked at the future and I said, this is never going to change. How am I going to get claw my way out of this? So those are three negative thinking choices.

As long as you keep making those choices, you cannot get out of depression. Coming out of depression means making a different choice. And so I started saying I’ve dealt with horrible things before. So I went past positive. I said, I’ve dealt with horrible things before. I will strangled. I have come through so much adversity.

If I can come through that, then I can deal with this as well. My future does not have to [01:09:00] look anything like my past. My future can be better than my past. And then I looked at my now and I said, you know what? I am so much better off than. Thousands, maybe millions of other people in the world.

And so again, it was that shift to going to appreciation shift, going to gratitude. That gratitude attitude. If you practice, it will get you out of depression. You said timer on the phone. I didn’t use timer on the phone, but I’ll tell you what my favorite tool even to this day is. It is yellow stickies. Mm yellow stickies with messages to remind me to appreciate my yellow sticky, just has one word on it.

Appreciate

I have it on my bathroom mirror on my computer inside my car, everywhere yellow. [01:10:00] And I do have a practice in the morning. I call it pre-paving, and it’s a, it’s a short prayer that I offer as soon as I open one eye, not, not even both. Eyes are open when I say this prayer and I say it more than once, two or three times until I’m out of bed, and it’s simply, dear God, thank you for a brand new opportunity to enjoy life.

I want my day to unfold with ease. I want good things to come my way. I want to remember to appreciate people, places and things. I want to be good to myself and others. I want to end this day feeling happy and satisfied. And I want to remember at all times that all things are possible. Yeah. Luke 1 37. For God, nothing shall be impossible.

Yes. [01:11:00] And so I started using this prayer in the morning. I would say it repeated often during the day. I have a similar prayer going to sleep where I tell my mind to shut down and allow my body and my emotions to heal and rejuvenate. Basically have to get your thoughts out of the way your thoughts can hurt you or your thoughts can help you.

And that depends on, in my experience, the six thinking choices. So, and then count your blessings. It’s so important. We are blessed with so many things that we take for granted every day.

So I became, I forced myself to become someone who would not take anything for granted. And I [01:12:00] realized something that I mentioned before, but I must reiterate just now, is that not just paying lip service, actually feeling the feeling. We become a society that offers words very easily. We meet a friend and we say, oh, I missed you, but you didn’t really miss them, or, I love you.

You say the words without feeling, the feeling

a child, you, one of your children comes to hug you and you hug them and say, I love you. But in that moment, do you actually feel the feeling of love? Do you actually convey the feeling of. And to me, what has become most important is to really feel the depth of emotion. If you’re angry, feel the [01:13:00] depth of that anger and deal with it.

But spend most of your time in a place of appreciation and love and actually feel the love. Don’t just talk about it, feel the love. When you feel the vibration of love, that’s what you’re sending out into the universe, and it’s like a boomerang. We say that very easily. Whatever you send out comes back to you, but basically that’s what you’re sending out because every second that you are alive, you are vibrating the emotions that you’re feeling.

And they are like a boomerang because they will come right back to you if you send anger out, anger returns. If you send revenge out revenge returns, if you send love out, love returns. And how do you, [01:14:00] so somebody’s listening and they’re feeling down and they’re hurt and they have every right to feel that way.

They’ve been really, you know, abused in life and taken advantage of. So, I mean, there’s a million scenarios I’m just trying to find, to frame a reference. Yeah. So, you know, I always imagine our frequencies, our energy, the vibration. It’s like you’re driving through town and you’re listening to the radio and it’s coming in clear.

And then as you’re going into a new area, it starts getting staticy. Yes. So you have to adjust the radio dial to get it to come in clear again. So it’s a constant every, if you want. Yes. It’s cross country. Yes. It’s, you’re gonna be constantly changing that dial. Mm-hmm. . . So we know that there are frequencies.

Mm-hmm. , we know that it makes our life clear and we can turn on a hard rock station. Mm-hmm. , that’s ah, mm-hmm. . Or we can turn on a nice melodic station. Mm-hmm. , that’s calming. Mm-hmm. , we can turn on music that’s happy, we can change [01:15:00] our emotion based on Yes. Music, sound vibration. Yes. So now we know things change.

We know we can tune it in. We know there’s different channels. How do we find the right vibrational channel and tune into it? Here’s the thing I call it the fire drill for your mind. You know, say that again. Fire drill for your mind. Fire drill for your mind. Okay. Yes. It’s here’s the thing. You cannot prepare for a fire in the middle of a fire.

This is why we have fire drills we practice so that we can avoid being. Panicky in the middle of an emergency, we know exactly what to do. And so the fire drill for your mind means that you’ve got to have strategies that you know will work, that you have practiced, that absolutely have given you [01:16:00] results.

You’ve got to practice them outside of the panic situation so that when you do get into that stage where you don’t have clarity, things are messed up, that you can do the drill. Because if you do the drill, it’ll bring you to safety, it’ll bring you to clarity. And then so what’s a drill like that look like?

Like how do you feel? Happiness? Yes, exactly. So now the concept of the drill works, but the drill has to be different for every person because we are all different. We all feel emotions differently and different things work for different people. for me what works. I will only share what works for me. With you and what That’s what the show’s about.

Exactly. Oh, you did it. And we can too. And we break down practical steps. Exactly. At least a starting point. One of the things that in my journey I came [01:17:00] across, and I have many certifications, but this one certification that I obtained, I remember my daughter was five years old. I used to have to bring her to the classes because I didn’t have daycare.

And the, the instructor was good enough to allow me to bring her. I got my n p certification. And in L N L P neurolinguistic programming, there’s a concept called anchoring. And what you do is you anchor a thought and that anchor is so you practice it so many times that it becomes so well developed that it.

does not allow your boat to flow away, to float on with the current. And the anchor is just a thought, but it’s a thought that if you practice it often enough, will immediately change your emotional state. So I have a couple of thought [01:18:00] anchors. These are thoughts, images of memories of a moment in time that is sometimes less than 60 seconds, but revisiting that moment in time helps my emotional state to immediately improve.

And so that’s a thought anchor. It’s a thought that I have practiced that I don’t need to look for. I’ve practiced it so much that I know it’s right there. I know where to go and I can bring it up like that. So I have thought anchors that are linked to. My, the, the, the look on my, the, the look of pride and joy on my father’s face.

The day I graduated from university, the look of cuteness on my son’s face when he rubbed a bar of chocolate all over his face, [01:19:00] the look of absolute joy on my daughter’s face when she spun around and round watching her skirt below around her with the rain falling on her upturned face. These images, these are just three examples of the kind of memories that serve as thought anchors for me personally, that when I visit these memories, it soothes my heart.

It makes, it immediately changes my emotional state. That’s what we want. Soon as we can soothe ourselves and change our emotional state, clarity starts returning. When clarity starts returning, then what you do is what I call a four step process, is you [01:20:00] say to yourself, okay, I’m upset because of this. What is the opposite of it that I really want?

That’s step two. So where do I want to go? Step three is your self-talk. The way you talk to yourself like a friend would talk you off the ledge. You talk yourself off the ledge basically by saying things like same kind of things that your friend would say to you, it’s going to be all right. You can figure this out.

It’s never the end of the world. , there’s always an answer. All things are possible. The universe has your back. There is a God helping you. You’ve had miracles in your life before you can deal with this. Nothing is outside your, you know, your your strength. You can do this. So you just talk yourself down and then you feel better and you tell yourself, I may not see the solution right now, [01:21:00] but I know the solution is out there.

And it’ll come to me and it’ll come to me in the most surprising ways. I’m just, I, all I have to do is to stop worrying. I’m gonna go back to my faith, my trust, and then the solution will emerge. And now I feel better. Nothing’s changed yet, but I just feel better because I’ve gone back to my faith. And then the next thing I do, step four.

is return to gratitude and appreciation. So now that I feel better, what can I think about that I can appreciate? Because I know that if I can just get onto the vibration of appreciation, then I am heading towards the, the vibration of love. And if I can get to the vibration of love, then that conduit of communication with that which I call God, the universe opens and all answers flow [01:22:00] through.

So this is the four step process. It’s contained in the book Thrive. One of the many books that I’ve written, the prayer, the prayer that I shared with you earlier on, and the techniques that I use in order to keep myself positively focused, they are contained in the Workbook Unlimited. So I actually created a workbook because, One day a client came to me, a coaching client came to me, and she was having so much trouble I wanted her.

I sat down and I thought about what was the things that I did that helped me. And then I developed a checklist for her, and I sent her the checklist. And after I sent her the checklist, she said, but there are no instructions with the checklist. How do I do these things? So then I wrote little pieces with the checklist to say, this is how you do this exercise.

This is how you do this exercise. And it turned into a workbook and I gave it to her. And then I decided, well, if she can have it, why can’t other [01:23:00] people have it? So I created a workbook and I put it on Amazon and I dedicated it to her because she was the inspiration for it. So the techniques that I use are documented.

I share them openly with an open heart, with anyone who wants them. All the stuff that I’ve learned is in my books. And as I learn more, I write more. because I’m still constantly learning. I’m not a done thing. I’m still on my way. There are greater things to be done. Beautiful. Now and then, let me ask you this.

The second is, second step is the desired outcome. Yes. The third step is positive self-talk. Talking yourself through the process like you talked to somebody else. Yes. We so many times we give good advice to other people, but we abuse ourselves. Right. That’s right. That’s true. And then step forwards, return to gratitude and appreciation.

What was step one? Like how would you define that? Again, I hate where I am. I, I don’t like this where I [01:24:00] am. Acknowledge the fact that you don’t like what you’ve got. It’s okay to acknowledge it. Gotcha. You don’t have to hide from the truth. In fact, if you hide from from the truth, you can never deal with it.

Yeah. You have to bring everything into the. . Yes. Yep. The bile talks about that cover to cover, but especially in first, second, and third, John, bring things to the light. If you leave ’em in the darkness, it’ll gro dark. Yes, exactly. That’s right. Awesome. Zara. So I’ve learned a lot. Makes me want to grab that workbook and just work through it and start applying this to my life.

And hopefully for our listeners. So between your birth and today, is there anything we missed that you want to cover or do you want to transition to Where Zara Today And where are you heading? I think I pretty much gave you what I wanted to cover about where I’ve been. Awesome. So now where are you going?

What’s next? [01:25:00] Where I’m going is I am passionate about teaching. What I know. That’s why I am here with you, talking to you. That’s why I’ve written so many books. That’s why I’ve created a lot of free resources that people can have access to on my YouTube channel. My YouTube channel is basically a place where people can send in questions and I respond to them.

I wanna help people. I want, I want, again, I have chosen to do something that is bigger than my life because I know that that works for me. When I choose to do something that is bigger than just me,

all sorts of help arrives, all sorts of avenues open up, and I try with [01:26:00] that feeling. And so I’ve given myself a mission, and that mission is to help as many lives as I. Beautiful. So if someone wants to get in touch with you, order your book, we’ll put everything we can in the show notes. But if somebody wanted to continue the conversation, start coaching, ask you a question, what’s the best way to get ahold of you, Z?

You can email me through my website zma.com, so Z M A H O O n.com. Or you can leave a comment on my YouTube channel. My handle across all social media is Z maho. So you can look for my blog, my website, my Instagram, all of it is under the same name. Beautiful. Thank you so much. Before we go again, I always just wanna make sure we talked about there was nothing we left outta your story, but is there any closing thoughts or anything you’d like?

Dave, I feel like we touched on this, but I want to [01:27:00] dig deeper for the audience. Is there anything else you want to do before we close today’s episode? I am going to ask people who are listening that my question throughout life was, why new? Why did these things happen to me? And figuring that out. And if you want to learn more about how I answered that question, I wrote a little book called Why New?

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People? And that book is available as a free download on my website. Very nice. So they just go right to your website, they download it, and everything’s right there. Mm-hmm. ? Yes. Beautiful. Beautiful. Well, there, it’s been an honor talking to you and I have so many more questions, but I, I wanna, for the respect of your time and for the audience, I think it gives us a lot to talk about, a lot to think about, a lot to apply.

Like our slogan says, we can’t just listen. Like you couldn’t just read those books. You gotta apply it, you [01:28:00] gotta do it. Yes, yes. And you gotta repeat the actions each day. Like you said, every morning you wake up. So we can have a great life in this world, but more than anything in eternity to come. So, Zara, it’s been a true honor.

Thank you for being on the show today. Ladies and gentlemen. Check out Zara’s website, reach out to us if you have any questions. If I can help you in any way, let me know. If not, we love you and we’ll catch you in the next episode. Ciao.