Originally Written: September 12, 2014 | Recently Updated: February 19, 2026
Please Note: This post was originally shared in 2014. I’ve refreshed it for 2026 with new insights on overcoming bullying and finding peace in a digital world.
Overcoming Bullying: Why to Be Thankful for Jerks & Haters
You know the old saying, “If something doesn’t kill us, it only makes us stronger.” Well, while I agree with that statement to a point, it isn’t wholly true.
As we all know, any adversity that we face and overcome in life is a growing point. However, oftentimes whether it be a physical, mental, or emotional challenge, those battles can leave scars- and BIG ones at that.
Sometimes those scars are a sign of victory to us and we are proud of them (like the incision marks from the surgery we had after climbing Mount Everest and breaking a leg on the way down and still making it home).
Sometimes those scars are a burden of pain that we don’t ever want to face again. Deep emotional wounds that no one else physically sees, but ones that we have never fully healed on the inside (like other kids picking on us in school and saying all sorts of horrible UNTRUE things that we still believe and let hold us back).
In those cases, yes, we’ve made it through the once-present immediate challenges that we had to face, but deep inside we can still feel the intense pain and sorrow when with similar issues resurface because we have never fully seen or accepted the real truth. When those moments arise, we need to remember that we no longer need to live life as victims to those lies, people, and pain.
In fact, we need to realize that we are not victims any more, but Conquers. Conquerors so strong and powerful that we not only made it through the onslaughts of their evil and hate, but Conquerors who rose from the challenge stronger and ready to help others do the same. We are now the people who have earned the right to wear the “Been There” badge, stand over the jerks, bullies, and haters, and tell them how things really are- We won!
You see, once we accept ourselves for who we are, the ‘good’, the ‘bad’, and the ‘ugly’, we have nothing to be ashamed of. We know our strengths, our weaknesses, areas to work on, areas to be thankful for- Who we are; Who God made us to be. We’re free from any control the jerks, bullies, family members, or haters once thought they had over us, or we believed they had. And guess what? No one can ever take that away from you. 🙂
How Overcoming Bullying Makes You Stronger
Those people who hurt you, they are actually the ones who made you stronger. Yes, that’s right!
The same people who did their best to hurt you, break you, and destroy you failed! You’ve overcome their garbage and lies and are now here today reading this article. Congrats!
What they didn’t realize when they were so wrapped up in trying to bring you down, they ultimately brought you up. And not only above were you were, but above where they are now. CONGRATS AGAIN!
Understanding Why Haters and Jerks Act Out
When I was 15, I was severely bullied at school. God taught me life truths that I hope to never forget:
Everyone does what they do for a reason, and, Everyone needs Love.
If fact, most jerks, bullies, and haters are hurting on the inside themselves deeply and that is exactly the reason why they pick(ed) on you, insult(ed) you, and attack(ed) you. It is not because they believe(d) that you are weak or strange, it because inside they know you are strong, you are unique, you are special, and you are different (in a good way) and that scares them.
You see, they themselves are so hurt on the inside and don’t know what to do with the pain, they just choose this destructive path of hurting others to mask their pain and false confidence. To be quite honest, looking back I feel bad for them and you should too.
Think about it, for them to be so hateful, hurtful, and flat out evil, I can’t even imagine what they must be going through or facing in their private lives that they don’t know how to deal with and overcome?
Now I’m not saying we need to send them birthday cards, invite them over for dinner, or this condone their bad behavior in in anyway, but what I am saying is it may help you to heal and become even stronger by forgiving them, praying for them, and even helping them if you are still in contact and the opportunity arose. The bible calls that overcoming evil with good. Not always so easy, but fulfilling.
Closing Thoughts
So in closing, if you have been hurt in the past, as weird as it sounds, be thankful. Without people picking on you, bulling you, and insulting you, you may have just grown up to be average. Once you realize this truth, let go of the pain (yes, you are the only one still holding on to it and all you need to do is let go), and focus on the strengths God has given you, you will thrive and flourish through Christ in whatever calling God has given you. Like “they” always say, our personality and identity are strongly influenced by the people we meet, the books we read, and the things that we watch. So saying that, we need to be thankful for the Jerks, Bullies, and Haters in our lives!
To God be the Glory. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. If you need any help with moving past the pain, finding your purpose, or fulfilling your destiny in life, check out the Remarkable People Podcast. Hundreds of guests have shared their stories of victory and success over the years in what they overcame and/or achieved, and break it down into the practical steps of how they did it, so you can too! 💪
👉 Click here to start watching/listening now. 👈
Ascending Together,
David Pasqualone
Scripture to Consider: Matthew 5:44, Romans 12:20-21, John 3:16
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FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions (and Answers)
Q1: Why should we be thankful for people who hurt us?
A1: Adversity is a catalyst for growth. While the experience is painful, overcoming the onslaught of “jerks and bullies” builds resilience, empathy, and strength that wouldn’t exist without the challenge. It shifts your identity from a victim to a conqueror.
Q2: How do I stop feeling like a victim of bullying?
A2: Healing begins when you accept your true self—including your strengths and weaknesses—and realize that a bully’s behavior is usually a reflection of their own internal pain, not your value. By forgiving and letting go, you reclaim control over your life.
Q3: Why do jerks and haters act the way they do?
A3: Most bullies and haters are hurting deeply on the inside. They often attack others because they recognize strength or uniqueness in their target that they feel they lack themselves. Understanding this allows you to move from anger to empathy.
Q4: Can adversity lead to greater success in life?
A4: Yes. Many high-achievers credit their “haters” for providing the motivation to prove them wrong and the thick skin required to navigate difficult paths. As the article notes, without these challenges, one might have simply remained “average.”
