Originally Published: December 23, 20253

You can read all the books, take the classes, wash the tiny clothes, and still feel completely unprepared the moment you walk through the door with your baby – and that’s perfectly natural, especially if you’ve never done it before. There’s no one checking up on you, no reassurance that you’re doing things right, it’s just you and your baby, and that’s a lot of responsibility. 

A lot of new parents say they wish they’d known that that was totally normal, but the uncertainty doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, and with that in mind, here are a few things new parents wish they’d known before bringing baby home – having an idea in advance might be useful and make you less anxious. 

The Emotional Change Can Be Bigger Than Expected

One of the biggest surprises for new parents is how emotional everything feels – of course, you’ll feel a lot of love, but there’s probably also going to be fear, sadness, guilt, anxiety, and perhaps even some moments of grief for the life you left behind; after all, everything’s changed now. And even the most joyful moments can feel pretty overwhelming. 

This emotional mix doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or unhappy, and what it actually means is that your body and mind are adjusting to huge changes, especially when you consider hormones, lack of sleep, and all that extra responsibility all coming at you at once. A lot of parents wish they’d known that these feelings don’t cancel out love, but actually just exist along with it, and eventually, they’ll pass, or at least reduce so much you don’t even think of them anymore. 

Sleep Deprivation Changes Everything 

Everyone talks about sleep deprivation, but it’s hard to understand how deeply it affects you until you’re living it. It’s not just being tired, it’s about everything that comes with being extremely tired, like you’ll lose your patience more easily, you might not feel confident about doing things, and you won’t be able to think clearly or make rational decisions very well. 

New parents very often wish they’d known that feeling overwhelmed in the early hours of the morning doesn’t mean anything about how they’ll feel tomorrow – night are just harder, and thoughts tend to spiral more; everything feels worse in the dark. But when there’s daylight, you’ll usually get a lot more perspective. Plus, the advice to sleep when the baby sleeps really is excellent. Forget about the housework or anything else you’re thinking of doing while they nap, and just get some shut eye. 

Babies Are Learning Too

In those early days, it can feel like your baby should already know how to sleep, feed, and settle down, but you’ve got to remember that they’re brand new to everything, and the world is loud and bright and unfamiliar – it’s no wonder they cry a lot and can’t seem to just get on with things. The fact is, they’re not trying to be difficult, they’re just adjusting to being alive. 

Understanding this one thing can really help to change how much you expect from your baby, and you’ll stop asking questions about why they won’t sleep and start reminding yourself that they’re still just learning how to exist – you’ll gain a lot more patience that way. 

There’s No Right Way To Do This

Feeding, sleeping, soothing, routines, schedules… everyone has an opinion, and a lot of them conflict. New parents often wish they’d known earlier that it’s okay to filter that advice and only do what seems right, rather than trying to do everything and then feeling guilty when you can’t. 

After all, what works on one baby might not work on another, and that doesn’t mean anyone is doing anything wrong. When you start to trust your own instincts more, you’ll feel a lot more confident – you know your baby better than anyone else, even if you don’t always feel like it yet. 

Time Moves Strangely In The Early Weeks 

Days can feel pretty endless, but at the same time, weeks just disappear and it can feel like you blinked and it’s all over again. Many parents find themselves wondering things like how long is a baby a newborn, and so on, not because they’re impatient, but because time really does feel totally distorted. You’re basically living moment to moment, and life starts to get measured in feeds and naps, but at the same time, things can also feel like they’re changing too quickly. 

This strange relationship with time is totally normal – you’re in a time that’s so intense, repetitive, and fleeting all at once. 

Your Relationship Will Change 

Whether you’re parenting with a partner or on your own, relationships are definitely going to change after a baby arrives. You’ll talk about different things, you’ll have less energy, and even love can feel different because you’re so stretched thin by tiredness and new responsibilities. 

New parents often wish they’d known that none of that means there’s anything wrong, and instead it just means that something is changing, as everything has to change eventually. With time, communication, and being kind to each other, relationships should change to fit the new situation and this stage of life can become easier when that happens. 

Asking For Help Is Not A Failure 

Many parents struggle silently because they think they should be able to cope with it all on their own, but the truth is that humans were never really meant to raise babies without help – it takes a village, etc. 

Help with babies comes in various different forms, like asking someone to hold the baby while you shower, bringing you a meal, listening to your fears (and not necessarily trying to give you any solutions because that’s not always what you want), and basically reassuring you that everything’s fine. Parents often say that they wish they’d asked for help much earlier on, before they got totally exhausted and overwhelmed. 

Final Thoughts 

The early days of parenthood are the hardest things you’ll ever do, but remember, you’re learning all the time, and one day you’ll look back and smile.

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• Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

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