Jimmy Clare | Advocating For Autism

David Pasqualone: [00:00:00] Hey Jimmy, how are you brother?

Jimmy Clare: Good, how are you?

David Pasqualone: I’m fantastic. So, like our listeners know, we’re going to go through your life from birth through today. Then we’re going to transition to not just where have you been after we’ve broken down the things you’ve achieved and overcome.
And the practical steps of how you did it, but after you’ve helped us, now we’re going to transition. Then we’re going to transition to where’s Jimmy today and where are you heading so we can help you get there. You’re ready to go?

Jimmy Clare: Yep.

David Pasqualone: All right, man. Then let’s start off. What’s your story? Where were you born, Jimmy?
What was your upbringing like? And we don’t just cover the shiny moments. It’s the good, the bad, the ugly, and all the above.

Jimmy Clare: I got plenty of ugly.
David Pasqualone: Well, just start off as, as God leads, man. Where were you born and what was your upbringing like?

Jimmy Clare: So [00:01:00] I was born in, uh, Melbourne, New Jersey. Uh, I don’t know how big the town was to me back then.
It was very big because I was very little, uh, and I had a very big head and, uh, that’s what my parents told me. And they still tell me I have a big head.
And
so, uh, growing up, uh, I was, I was told I was, well, my parents were told that I wouldn’t be able to walk without braces or crutches. I never had. I was also told I wouldn’t be able to, uh, read higher than the second grade level because, uh, I, I’m, because I’m autistic. And I was like, Gee, so basically, and my parents told me this when I was, uh, Well, they told me this just a few years ago, uh, when I started my motivation speaking career.
And I was like [00:02:00] thinking, I was like, wow, gee, from the beginning, right from the beginning, I was told I wasn’t going to be able to do any of this stuff. And Now look at me. And, but that, but that’s not my whole story. Uh, and I’m just thinking the other day is like, well, I could have just given up the whole, uh, um, at the very beginning, but, but I like to prove people wrong, apparently.
Who doesn’t? And then there’s, uh, And then I also got told as and then I was bullied for from fourth grade all the way up to 11th grade in high school. And it was, I don’t know why I got bullied for. I didn’t ask. But it was, it was totally annoying. It first started with two, [00:03:00] uh,
Twins on the bus, and I don’t know whether they were really bullying me, but they were asking me questions that I didn’t know answers to, and they were kind of just like giggling afterwards. But again, I can’t, I can’t really read. Really don’t know if it’s, I can’t really call it bullying because later on when I saw them in high school, they were completely nice.
So, so I, I, I can’t really say on those, but. And is that

David Pasqualone: because with the autism, sometimes it makes you, it’s more difficult to interpret the intentions of others.

Jimmy Clare: Yeah, I, I’m, when I, I still have trouble to this day knowing people’s facial expressions, whether they’re like, uh, am I talking too much? Am I being, am I kind of, uh, being, uh, [00:04:00] annoying, or am I self centered or whatever?
And, but I, I also believe that it’s, Yeah, it’s, yeah, it’s based on mainly, mainly because of not understanding facial features very well. I’ve gotten that over the years, but now I tell my parents like, oh, come on, just tell me what you’re feeling as I can. Just, I’m not, I’m not like a mind reader. And if I was a mind reader, I’d be kind of creeped out.

David Pasqualone: Yeah. And yeah, I’ve heard that a lot with people who are autistic or have autistic children, that the facial recognition. What seems so common for one person is really difficult for people, not all autistic people, but some autistic. So growing up, did you have brothers and sisters or were you the only child?

Jimmy Clare: I have one brother. Uh, he currently lives in New York [00:05:00] and he has been, uh, he just came up for Thanksgiving, uh, and so I got to see him and we hung out, but growing up, uh, He never treated me any differently. He gave me, he treated me like a, he was a pain in the butt to me at times. I was a pain in the butt to him at times.
We bickered, we argued, we called each other’s names, pretty much what every brother does. So, But my family never treated me like I was different. I mean, they never treated me that I was different. They never mentioned the word autism around me. And if they didn’t mention it, it was when I was out of, way out of earshot, like I was doing something else, but never was never in my presence.
I never knew the word autism growing up because no one used it around me. [00:06:00] They never treated me just like any. Child, anybody who has children, I was big pain in the ass. And, uh, I still am kind of a big pain in the ass, but

David Pasqualone: Aren’t we all at times though, right? Aren’t we all?

Jimmy Clare: Yeah. And, but then that stopped there.
The bullying got worse in middle school. Well, actually about the next bullies came when was two girls on the bus and Me and my one friend in elementary school, maybe I have a few friends in elementary school, but one of them, we were, my school had this, uh, This program on the, for the bus rides, they’re called safeties.
We were supposed to keep everyone seated in their seats and while the bus is moving and whatnot. And I thought, me and my [00:07:00] friend thought it was a good idea. I was like, hey, you know what, we should apply to become safeties on the bus. So maybe these two girls will stop kicking our seats. Well, we were completely wrong because they started kicking our seats five times more than than what they were normally doing as I Is there any way we can get fired from this job?
And, uh, I think, I don’t know if we got fired, but I think we finally resigned and we just put the belts on the table and just walked out of the room, never looking back. And it’s like, we’re done. Yeah. I think we did it about a week. It’s like, yeah, I’m done. I’m not doing this any crap anymore. And. So, but then in middle school, it got worse with, I like to describe my middle school years as a war, a war zone.
And the reason why I say that is because, as it, me as, uh, the bullying, and these, and all these bullies were different. First it was, [00:08:00] Twin, uh, it was twins, then it was these two girls, and then it got to these two, two other, two grown kids who were, well, one was kind of short, but he was just a tall jerk, and the other one was about my height, and, but, uh, He was a jerk too.
He, uh, uh, my, somebody in middle school, I don’t know, I don’t think it was my year or my class that I think I came up with this, but there was this neck slapping game and, and it was, that’s what they referred to it as. I mean, the administration staff and they still have stuff in the back of my neck. And I got really, And it became dangerous for me because I have spinal [00:09:00] stenosis in my neck, meaning I, it’s hard for me to move my neck left and right, up and down.
And it’s not at the bottom of my neck. It’s at the very, very top of my neck where my, where the neck and head meets. So, so it’s, it can be very complicated driving a car. I still drive, but, uh, but I have, uh, I have a, I have a big wide mirror that lets me take out all the blind spots and everything. And so it’s very helpful.
So I was like, okay, if I can’t turn my head all the way because I can’t see something, at least I have, I have a mirror there. It’s like, Oh, there’s a car right in the blind spot. It’s like, Hi, I can see you. You’re not in my blind spot anymore. Good luck with that. So it was, um, but, and what got really [00:10:00] dangerous after a while is that, uh, one of my principals I like to call Mr.
Wacko, he, it took him a hundred times to finally figure out how dangerous this was for me. And, and like, And you needed extra inputs from my teacher, my guidance counselor, my parents, a hundred plus times to finally figure this out. And I was like, boy, how did you get a job as a principal? It’s like, if somebody came to me with this kind of serious news, I would take them, I would take their word for it.
And I was like, Who would, who, who, who comes, um, who would come to a principle and make up a story like that? Yeah. I can’t come up with a story like that. I wouldn’t want to wish this next problem on anyone. Because. It stings. I mean, the one thing was like in the lower part of the back. I mean, it [00:11:00] probably would still stink, but at the very top of the neck, it’s like, Jesus, that’s another issue.
Cause I know it’s all, the body is all connected, but at least maybe it’s in the lower part. At least maybe it won’t be. As tough as turning your, your neck for your head and whatnot. So,

David Pasqualone: yeah, it’s hard because you can’t really judge pain, especially pain in others. But I know what you’re saying. I’ve had a, I’ve injured my lower back and I’ve injured my neck.
And with the pain in the neck, that’s an expression, but with the pain in the neck, it really just distracts your brain. And it hurts so bad. Um, you lose your focus where, when my lower back was probably in more actual pain, I could function better still. So I think I understand what you’re saying. Um, so how did you figure out like for parents with autistic children or people who have autism, whether they’re, you know, on [00:12:00] different levels of the spectrum?
What do you recommend doing? Like you’re being bullied. How did you get through it? How did you get to resolution? Or did you just have to tough it out until you moved to another school? How did it work for you?

Jimmy Clare: Well, so, uh, well, well, I moved, uh, to Pennsylvania back in 2001. So the bullying started in, uh, when I was in Pennsylvania, but it didn’t start right away until fourth grade of, um, elementary school.
And, uh, but how I got through the bullying was, uh, each level of the bullying I reported to, uh, teachers, I reported to staff, I reported, I don’t know what I, I don’t remember in elementary school what I did because
Because let’s just say my elementary school, me and them [00:13:00] had a lot of differences, etc. Meaning that they didn’t necessarily know, uh, what they, they didn’t necessarily give me the support that I needed. And, uh, And my parents had to fight, um, pretty much on every single battle. And then, and I also got suspended from my elementary school because I threw a pencil across the room.
Not at anybody, but just across the room. I’m not sure why I threw it across the room. I can’t even tell you why. And if you ask people who knew me back then, uh, they would probably give you so many different reasons why. I’m not really sure. I don’t know if they’re, if those reasons would, are the exact reasons.
I kind of just, I kind of just let it go at that because it was [00:14:00] 20 something years ago. So it’s like, Hmm. Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve. I don’t know why, why, but, uh, but what helped me in middle school, um, my seventh grade teacher was also my special education teacher for most of my classes, , I was in her class for English, science, math, history. Yeah. And pretty much all that. And, but what helped me in her class was even that the bullies were there. She put me in, when we did group work, she put me in groups without them in there.
So they’re in the other group and they could stay the hell away from me. And if they tried to make fun of me in class, she said, it was like, good, just go right to the principal’s office. Just get the hell out of my class. She didn’t say that [00:15:00] necessarily in those words. I just paraphrase a little bit. And, but she also, and, um, I also, and it got so bad to the point where when I left the cafeteria, the bullies picked on me all the way to my next class, or to her class, and so, so me and her created an arrangement where if now I’m If I’m not in, uh, if I don’t have somebody to sit with at lunch, like one of my friends or whatnot, I could come leave the cafeteria early.
And she set this up with the lunchroom monitors. So if I was leaving early, they wouldn’t stop me or say, Hey, you’re not allowed to leave. I must be heading. He used the bathroom of course, but as they wanna make sure you where you are, you weren’t just wandering the halls. And [00:16:00] so she created, she uh, she arranged with them and say, Hey, I’ll let Jimmy leave early if he, he doesn’t have anybody to sit with.
Only because it’s like my friends were sick or they didn’t come to school that day, or they left for a doctor’s appointment. And so I would come to her room, Earl go to. I have her classroom early so I can, uh, read my book and be safe away from the bullies. And she’s like, she’s like, if you see me in here with teachers, just come in, just wave hi or whatever, come in and sit down and read your book.
And that during that year, she challenged me to read higher than my Reading level that my, my school was making me read at. And she’s like, I want you to challenge yourself. And it’s like, what, what was your favorite book? Oh, I mean, what, what was your, uh, find a favorite book to read? So. [00:17:00] I watched all the Harry Potter movies.
I like when there was, when it was, I mean, it’s still big now, but back then it was really big too. And so as the movies were still coming out, left and right. And, uh, in seventh grade, we, uh, I was reading all the Harry Potter books because I was, I guess I watched most of the movies that were out back then.
And so now I was like, Hey, I want to go read the books. Just to see if there’s anything different versus I was on screen. And so even though I didn’t know. What every single word meant, I think Google was out back then. So I Googled the words, I asked my teacher, I asked my parents. So when I came back to that, come to that word again, I knew what that word meant.
And overall, eventually I improved my reading. And so I was reading higher than my level in seventh grade. And so I was reading all the Harry Potter [00:18:00] books. And it’s funny, when class was, About the start, she, she actually told me too, it was like, Jimmy, it’s time to put away your book. And she even laughed.
She was like, I didn’t, I was like, I didn’t think I would ever have to tell a student to put put away his books before. And I was like, I know. I thought you supposed to be encouraging me .

Speaker 2: So

Jimmy Clare: it was just kind of our joke. And I still stay in touch with her today, uh, because she had a big impact on my life.
But. Swelling finally stopped in 11th grade where, where I, uh, lost 30 pounds with, uh, B, uh, with a P 90 x. And, uh, I, it, by the halfway point I started to see the results. I saw, uh, muscles that I didn’t know that had, and then I also felt very confident. So I stood to the bullies in math class. [00:19:00] And you’re probably wondering why I picked math class is because it was towards the end of math class.
My friend who happens to be in a wheelchair, these classroom doors were like this bit wide. So it’s, and she had one of those, uh, droid stick kind of, uh, wheelchairs. And so it was really hard. It’s hard to steer. I could, I can only imagine how hard it is to use a droid stick wheelchair to get through that door.
And so she, uh, of course, by accident bumped into the door because, you know, it’s, uh, doors were not meant to hold Anything. I mean, I didn’t hold back. I mean, not, not really let you push something through it or, or wield something through it. And it was [00:20:00] really annoying because I felt bad for her because the bullies weren’t just picking on me.
They were picking on my friends as well. And when she would, when she bumped into the frame of the door, the bullies left and I was like, how’s that funny? And it was like, I like to see you drive one of those things and it’s like I couldn’t drive one of those things and it’s like how’s that funny then it’s like that’s not funny at all and there’s like it’s and there’s like oh well it’s funny because it just happened and it’s like well you have crappy excuses and I didn’t say any of this to the bullies but it was pissing me off and because all my math teacher and I really felt bad for my math teacher because is is what I’m saying next.
It’s not really giving him the, I know my, my not sound like I’m giving him the balance of the doubt, but he, he, throughout the [00:21:00] year, he told the bill police to knock it off and uh, uh, and when, what kind of just bugged me was like, he was like, oh, knock. Like, hey bro. And was like, just knock it off. Oh yeah, they’re gonna knock it off because you told them to.
I was like, no they’re not. I was like, you’ve been doing this for the whole, pretty much a lot of the time for the, during the year. And it’s like, yeah, if they haven’t stopped now, they’re not gonna stop ever. And so I just kind of lost it. And we were working on these, um, I think the first generation of MacBooks, to be honest, and we were.
We were doing this math program that helped us learn at our own pace because, uh, because for, because it was a special education math class, we got, uh, [00:22:00] I didn’t understand algebra, and I was like, where the, like, where the hell am I going to use algebra for, with, and it’s like, what am I going to use it for?
And so, I was like, I need, I need a program that I can. Learn at the level of math I’ve already learned or I’m still learning and still need help with. So my school invested in this program. It was a pretty cool program, though, I knew. Uh, but, uh, I got stuck at fractions and my, my, my teacher was cool. He, he called up the company and said, Hey, You gotta get Jimmy off of fractions and it’s like, I’m like, let him, but I pass it because he’s not understanding it.
He’s not getting it. And because there was times where I had nothing else to learn in that, so, but fractions. So I spent like a whole, I think a class was like, I’d like to say 55 minutes back then, or maybe an hour back then. I forget [00:23:00] how long, but I was like, This sucks. It was like, get me out of this fricking hell hole.
And it’s like, I just banged my head because like when my, my one on one helper helped me through the fractions, it made sense. But then when it came to the test part, I was like, I don’t know how to do this. And like, my brain just shut off and it was like, Screw these fractions. I’m never going to get this damn thing.
And I probably shouldn’t say never, but I still don’t understand fractions. And now that we have so much technology, there’s fraction calculators out there. So it was like, eh, screw it. I don’t need fractions. But so I got, so what I did during that math class, I, during when the bullies were picking on my friend, I slammed this laptop shut.
It didn’t break it, but my professor, but my, my, uh, teachers, I, Jimmy, don’t break, like, don’t break the laptop. And I was like, oh, please, that’s not going to break the laptop. It’s magnetized. So, and like, you hear the last shot and like, because the magnets was [00:24:00] slapping, kind of connecting together. So, I finally got stood up, in my chair, went over to the bullies, and on the way over to the bullies desks, my teacher looked up and was like, Jimmy sit back down, and I was like, give me a minute.
And so I went over to the bullies. I think, I like to explain this part. And just picture this, I kind of, I, I basically turned into the Incredible Hulk. I didn’t turn green, but I was raging and like, so angry, uh, my veins were sticking out with my, because of my muscles, my defined arms, defined everything, and my, and I, and the two brothers were about to snicker to see like, and they both looked at each other like, what’s going to happen?
And before they could even ask each other what’s going to happen, I went up to them face [00:25:00] to face, close to them, just to show them I mean business. I cursed, I yelled, I said every nasty word in the book. And, and I was told to go down to the principal’s office and Me and my principal has, not Mr. Wacker, Mr.
Wacker was, uh, he was, uh, an assistant principal. This was the head principal who used to be in, uh, in, in middle school. So me and her had some history. Good and bad. Uh, but I don’t think she held anything against me because when she found out from the classroom assistant of what I did, she’s like, you’re not in trouble.
I’m like, huh? I’m not in trouble? I was like, this is news to me. And I just said every nasty word in the book. And it’s like, okay. And I was like, if you hit, and she said to me, I was [00:26:00] like, if your teacher has a problem, tell them to come down, see me. And it’s like, you’re straightening it out. And like, you’re sticking up for your friend.
And it’s like, and it’s like, that takes guts and, and everything. And, and what she did a few days later, she gave me an award for standing up for me and my friends. Uh, and I was like, I don’t need the award. She’s like, take it. And it’s like, you deserve it. And, but, uh, And then in twelfth grade, I got bullied by a annoying teacher.
My English teacher also was a special education teacher, but the thing that annoyed me the most about her, uh, she just fought me on every little thing. And by what I mean, fought me, she called me lazy, even though I was getting straight A’s. I was like, how does that make me lazy? And I was like, I thought that would make, that made me [00:27:00] smart, but I guess not.
It’s like, do you want me to get all Fs? I’m not sure. And I don’t know, have you ever seen the show Two and a Half Men? Yes. And well, my, I, one of my favorite lines on that show was when, uh, when, uh, Alan and Charlie was in the car, uh, the cab driver was like, So where to? Well, just keep writing until you reach the gates of hell, and, and meeting his mother’s house.
And so every time when I see, uh, when I saw my, uh, English teacher going, uh, in her classroom, I was like, Welcome to the gates of hell. And she hated it when I say that, but I hated it that she called me lazy and whatnot. And then at the, and then, you know, But then, what was also annoying, there was one time when I was in, um, study hall, [00:28:00] and I was already done with my homework, and I was missing this one question two, the homework, and the reason I was missing it, because it was not in the book, and I told her that, very politely, not saying as a, as a know it all, because I read the whole book and whatnot, I was like, I was like, hey, this is not in the book, I read the whole thing, Cover front to back, still not in there.
I don’t know if this was a trick question or whatnot. I may, do I need to Google it or something? And she said to me, it’s like, it’s in the book. If I ever told you it was not in the book, it’s not in the book. And it’s like, I’m not, it’s like, and she’s like, here, let me go see. So, what little time I had left in study hall, because I like to read when I’m finished my homework, or I like to, uh, chat with my one on one helper, or do Sudoku puzzles, or whatever.[00:29:00]
Uh, she, she wasted my time, and she made me set for the rest of the time. And she made me, uh, watch a flip through page to page to page. And by the time we were done, so inside how it was done, like about five minutes before the bell ring, she’s like, you’re right. It’s not in there. I’m like, nah, I was right.
And it’s like, I told you that about 20 fricking times, but no, you didn’t want even my one on one helper. I said to her, or it’s like, It’s not in there. She even, she even looked at it too, but she, she didn’t want to take anybody’s word for it. And I got tired of her calling me so much, so lazy. So many times I finally, I went down to the head principal’s office, reported her.
And of all the years of the school kind of treating me, this whole school system in general [00:30:00] treating me like I was a misfit, not a part of the community or whatnot, she actually apologized. of everything that has happened. Just like, I am so sorry on behalf of the school, if you, and like, if you, if she ever calls you lazy ever again, come down here, I don’t care if I’m in a meeting or whatnot, tell my secretary to go get me or find me or call me.
I’m going to come down, I will come down here personally to the classroom and fire her. And it’s like, holy crap. And it’s like, thank you. And I hope, and I pissed off my, my, um, though, and then so I did piss off my guidance counselors, because, My middle school guidance counselor was much, much, much, much more into helping students and their problems in middle [00:31:00] school.
But when it came to high school, it was all about, oh, the word I was looking for was electives. That’s what I was looking for. They were only caring about electives and helping you select electives or college applications. They didn’t really care about your personal problems. So when I. So I always went to the principals for help, and when she found out I went to the head principal, I was like, why didn’t you come to me?
I was like, because lady, and I said this point blank, and I didn’t say that’s so lady part, but I was like, well, because I know you weren’t going to do anything about it anyway. And she’s like, I’m going to tell the principal I said that, I was like, Go right ahead. And I was like, go do it. And so when I told, when the, when she told the principal about it, she’s like, we’ll talk about this problem later.
And it’s like, no, I want to talk about it now. She’s like, later, see ya. And so she wanted to know what my problem was more than what she wanted to know. And I was like, well, she just told you I was a room, so.

David Pasqualone: Yeah. Now let me ask you a [00:32:00] question. When you said you read the whole math book, there’s not many people who read their whole math book.
Do you have a photographic memory? Like, how did you know it wasn’t in there?

Jimmy Clare: Well, this book was in the English, this was in the English class. It was this, uh, it was, I think it was, I think it was The Great Gatsby or what we were reading and, and I, and I was looking for the question and I, I forgot what the question was, but, uh, but while I was reading, I was, I was reading, I was also skimming because like, I already read like X amount of pages for the homework that night, but because it was supposed to be in like the first two or three chapters, uh, and.
It wasn’t there. So then I went back to skim and I’m pretty good at, uh, I’m not to toot my own horn, but I’m pretty good at skimming and still getting the gist [00:33:00] of each thing. And it’s like, none of this adds up to any of this last question. And so I was like, okay, maybe it wasn’t in the first three parts.
Let me check the other parts. I checked the other parts still skimming. And then it was like, It’s not even in here. And I even, it’s like, I even passed it on to my one on one helper and say, Hey, can you take a look at this in case if I missed it? And it’s like, I don’t think I did, but just in case and I’ll stand a chance because I didn’t want to come by as a know it all.

Speaker 2: So

Jimmy Clare: then I, so, so she looked into it and was like, it’s not in here either. And I was like, great. So this question is not going to be answered.

David Pasqualone: Yeah. So after high school, after you got through this, Did you graduate and then move on to a career? Did you move on to college? Where did your life go after high school?
Did the bullying stop with the high school or did it continue on into life?

Jimmy Clare: Well, the bullying [00:34:00] stopped, uh, after that, that incident in math class. They tried one more time. I got one of the bullies expelled and then I also, and once they found out the bullies, that bullies was expelled, they left me the hell alone.
And I was like, good. I was like, stay away from me. And I was like, and then when, and, and then I graduated in 12th grade and I was, I, I also forgot to mention in 12th grade, I had my ninth year of surgery because I was deaf in my right ear. And, and, uh, after my ninth year of surgery, I, I was worried because I had to stay up for like, high school for like, uh, two weeks just to get my ear to heal.
So in case of like, let’s say something hit me, [00:35:00] uh, in the ear or like playing dodgeball and in gym class or, and didn’t wanna make, they just wanted me, my doctor wanted me to make sure I didn’t, uh, reopen the. Wound. So I had to stay home for two weeks, maybe three at the most because I also had six wisdom teeth pulled, two moles removed and my ninth year of surgery.
So I had three surgeries in one day. Boy. And I remember my dad was kind of being a kind of a ball buster and asked me, uh, when I came through from anesthesia, he was like, So, Jimmy, are you ready to come home? It’s like, I feel like a drunken sailor at the moment. It’s like, yeah, no thanks. And so, um, but, uh, but, and the reason I was worried about, uh, missing a lot of work because my, I know how long, I know how [00:36:00] much my English teacher was going to give me all that work and everything.
So, uh, I, I’m, And I wasn’t going to have enough time to finish before graduation. So my, my, uh, my, uh, some, I got, I got all my other teacher’s signatures to, to excuse me from the work I would miss. You could probably guess how that went out with my English teacher. She hated it. She was like, I’m not signing this.
I actually said to her, I was like, If you like, we can take it, take it up with the head principal. She didn’t like that I used it against her. And

David Pasqualone: yeah, well, she kind of earned that badge of shame. I mean, she, she put you in that position to have to go to the principal. So, all right, man.

Jimmy Clare: But, but to answer your question, uh, I graduated, uh, high school and then I.
Took three years off doing different odds and end jobs. And then I went, I, and then I [00:37:00] got tired of doing the odds and jobs. I went to, uh, I decided to enroll myself into college and I like it. At some points, and there’s some times where I don’t like it, where I have to re request my accommodations every single semester.
Because I feel, I always felt like by doing that, if they’re asking, it kind of feels like that they’re asking me, are you still autistic by any chance? And it’s like, Boy, if something, if somebody else was, had to do this, um, I don’t think that would be very acceptable, especially in these times, but why is it so acceptable for me to have to go through the same process?
So, uh, and I was like, And like if, and so when that happened, when I found out that that was different, because they don’t take IEPs, meaning from Individual [00:38:00] Educational Plans, I, uh, I said to myself, like, if I can change one thing from college, it would be this process. It should be like, as long as I’m enrolled in college and in class here, or any other colleges, and this goes for all the colleges.
I should just get my accommodations. As long as I’m enrolled, I shouldn’t have to be forced to go through this stuff over again, because sometimes there’s one time they were like four weeks late with accommodations and I was like, Geez, you want to try snail mail? I even said that to them. I don’t think they liked me for it either.
I, I, I didn’t mean to always say that bluntly, but I was kind of getting fed up because, uh, later on they always changed their, their requirements. At first it was like two weeks before the semester, then it became four weeks [00:39:00] before request day, and then it turned out to two months, to three months. Now they, now they let me know before a semester’s over.
Make sure you request your accommodations. I’m like, jeez, how many? I get it. I’m not the only person who needs accommodations in college, but there’s so many gosh darn rules that keeps changing. And yeah, it’s like, I don’t know what they are anymore. So.

David Pasqualone: So did you ever, did you ever finish at that school or did you leave college?

Jimmy Clare: I’m still in college. Uh, since I started late, I jumped five. I jumped five different majors. Uh, which annoyed my parents. It was like, Jimmy, you need to go figure out what major you want to major in. And it’s like, well, I’m in a community college. At least I’m not doing it at a four year school. And I was spending a buttload of money in here and there.
So, I mean, it’s still money, money is money, but you know, at least I’m trying [00:40:00] it, at least I’m staying at the community college level. So, uh, so at least I’m not wasting time. Money and resources and finally got into majoring in media studies and how I got into motivational speaking was after my first interview, I liked, I liked staying, uh, I was like super away from current issues and not, I would say issues, but challenges in the Autism community.
So when I did more research about what the Autism really is, I was like this fascinates me since I am Autistic. I was like I want to learn more about What this means, how this impacts my everyday life is like I said to you earlier, earlier, my parents never used the word autistic around me. So I was kind of finding this out first [00:41:00] kind of hand of experience and say, okay, I know I’m autistic.
I know I’ve kind of felt different, but I just couldn’t know what that difference was until I discovered, Hey, This sounds exactly like me. And when I confirmed this with my parents, it’s like, huh, that’s, I was like, I wasn’t, I wasn’t annoyed that they didn’t tell me because I, I did it in art. I wrote an article about this on my website before, and it was like, sure, you tell your kids whether they’re not, they’re autistic or not.
And, and I, I was like, yeah. No, I, I, I, it’d be better off if they went, if they found out on their own and not being told, because I don’t know how I would handle it if somebody told me and said, hey, you’re an artist, you’re artistic and you’re a freak or whatever. I don’t, I can’t, I don’t think I could handle it.[00:42:00]

David Pasqualone: So what are you doing today, Jimmy? Like your message, what are you trying to communicate to people? What’s the motivational topic that you feel passionate about that you want to share with the world?

Jimmy Clare: Well, my, basically the backbone of my message is autism doesn’t need to be cured. It’s not a disease. You can’t wake up with a, Hey, I’m autistic.
You may be able to, you might find out later in life, you might have a little bit autistic. None of you, uh, Uh, get, uh, assessment or tested from, uh, from a doctor, but, but, or you might show some traits, but, but you’re born with it. You might, you might not. necessarily know that right from the get go unless if you’re not diagnosed with it, but I was like, but that doesn’t mean it did develop later in life.
It is [00:43:00] science shows later on or you were just curious and hey, let’s go figure this out or uh You are just, all of a sudden that person could just be interested, but you can’t just wake up with it and say, Hey, I’m autistic today. Uh, it’s not like, Hey, I got the flu or, Hey, I’m, I’m sick or whatever. And it doesn’t need to be cured.
It’s, it’s not a disease. It’s not, it’s just a different, unique perspective. And. You know, the reason why there’s, might be, I always like to say the reason why there’s pauses between longer sentences, etc. Is because we have a thousand plus thoughts in our heads roaming around. Like, for instance, you asked me if I had a photographic memory.
I, I like to say I have a memory that I can [00:44:00] memorize lines and from TV shows, books, movies. You name it, I can, uh, I can pretty, pretty much memorize it. And as long as I’ve, as long as I, I like the quote, if it’s like something I, that’s not memorable, I don’t memorize, memorize it. Like, for instance, everything in high school and middle school, from what I learned, uh, I can really tell you what I’ve really learned in back then.
Uh, ’cause I didn’t like school growing up and I’ve learned a lot in college. I liked. Learning what I’ve learned in college. I’m currently taking public speaking and, uh, that’s what I want to be. Well, as I, for my career as a motivational speaker, and I do live, uh, like a motivational speaker every single day in different forms, posting on social media, doing my own podcasts, live streaming.
Uh, [00:45:00] I’d spoken Twice in person. One right before the pandemic. I have pickable timing. And then the other was just this past summer at my local rotary club that I didn’t know existed. It’s like a secret society.

David Pasqualone: Yeah, they do a lot, um, that people don’t know about with charities and with the community. And it is sometimes it’s in the public eye and sometimes it’s behind the scenes.
So the Rotary Club is definitely, I’ve heard mixed reviews on it, but from the people I know that were in the Rotary, they were good people. So what, um, before we close up this episode, Jimmy, for again, for. People who are just living everyday life, for parents of autistic children, for people who are, you know, they, who have autism, what kind of message do you have for them?
And what do you want to close the show with that prevailing thought or motivation? [00:46:00]

Jimmy Clare: Well, my thought is, is. There’s nothing wrong with having autism. People are gonna, there’s a lot, there’s gonna be a lot of naysayers out there who will tell you, you can’t do this, you can’t do that, and trust me, I’ve been there, done that, and it’s, it doesn’t get any easier, but one thing I always focus on is that it’s, it’s in my DNA, it’s who I am.
If I wasn’t autistic, Who would I be today? And yeah, you know, there’s a lot of people out there who have autism more severe than I have. And, and I think instead of donating to charities who, for instance, uh, Autism Speaks, that, uh, they want to cure autism, and instead of donating to charities like them, donate to charities who want to help better the [00:47:00] lives of people with autism.
How, like, for instance, for some people on the autism spectrum can’t talk, so how can, can we make devices that could take what they’re thinking, and that can help them speak, or, and it’s like, how about we, like, how do we get Donations to that, or however we persuade Google on creating technology like that.
They have the money, they have billions of billions of dollars, and they make billions of billions of billions probably within every, what, one minute? I don’t know, I’m just guessing. But, but I’m just saying for, but You know, like I said, it doesn’t need to be cured. It doesn’t need to be fixed. We’re not lab rats.
There’s nothing wrong with it. And whoever tells you there’s something wrong with it, ignore those people. Get the people around you who treat you like [00:48:00] there’s nothing wrong with you.
David Pasqualone: Yeah. And I think that’s amazing how your parents and your brother, you said they treated you the same. Like, Hey, we all have strengths.
We all have weaknesses. Figure it out. Is that kind of like the upbringing you had in a nutshell?

Jimmy Clare: Yeah, pretty much. I’m, yeah, it’s not like they hid it from me. They’re just, they’re just like, honestly, I don’t think any kid could come up, could handle something that big. Uh, because if I was a parent, I would probably do the same thing because, you know, not like hiding from them about, uh, what makes them different, but I’d rather have them discover it on their own because it’s like, and if they have any questions that could come to ask me or, uh, um, I mean, if I was a parent, of [00:49:00] course, but I mean, like, but I would have them like, hey, go figure it out.
I would guide them if they wanted them or if they needed help. But, but as I, I was glad that no one told me, because, you know, even my teachers who I was in special education with, no one treated them well, except for my, my 12th grade English teacher, who just wasn’t. Jerk, but all my other ones, they didn’t treat me like I was different.
I just thought like, are all the classrooms this size? This small? I don’t know. What was I supposed to think? And I was like, I don’t know. I’m just a kid.

David Pasqualone: Yeah. Well, Jimmy, it’s been a pleasure hanging out with you today, hearing your story. Um, between your birth and today, is there anything we missed that you want to cover?
Or between today and where you’re heading in the future. Is there anything you want to talk about how we can help you get there?

Jimmy Clare: Uh, [00:50:00] no, I don’t think so.

Jimmy Clare: Uh, just to give you a quick, uh, um, kind of leave you a little bit of inspiration. I’ve been featured in a hundred plus podcasts. Today is Mix 142 and I’ve been featured in on Ticker News, 20, I should say 18 or so publications.
I’ve also been featured on the Autism, I mean, sorry, I’ve been featured an autism parenting magazine. I also just, last Monday I was on the Avatar podcast, which, uh, was from the avatar, the last Airbender, uh, TV show, which I’ve watched 111 times, almost 112. And I actually got to meet the two celebrities who are, who are our hosts of the Avatar podcast, and I was.
So excited to meet two celebrities and, [00:51:00] and I also was, uh, my, uh, business crazy fitness guy was, uh, featured, uh, uh, the top 100, uh, startup fitness companies in Pennsylvania. So, I’m already breaking kind of records.

David Pasqualone: That’s awesome, my friend. And I’m glad we got to meet Jimmy and spend this time together just hanging out, getting to know each other.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, if you have any questions for Jimmy, check out the show notes, reach out to him, continue the conversation. If you want to hear his motivational presentations, you know, again, reach out to him, check out the, uh, his website. And then if you have any questions, you and him can work it out.
Or maybe he can come visit you and speak to your group. So that’s it. I’m Dave Pasqualone. This was our friend, Jimmy Clair. And Jimmy, it’s been truly a pleasure. Thank you again for being here today.

Jimmy Clare: All right. Have [00:52:00]

David Pasqualone: a great day. And ladies and gentlemen, we’ll see you in the next episode.