Magic Barclay | How Emotional Pain Leads to Physical Illness, Surviving Stage 4 Cancer, & Showing Up for Life Each Day

How emotional pain leads to physical illness, surviving stage four cancer, running from addiction, and so much more. All in this episode of the podcast.

Hello friends. Welcome to this episode, the Remarkable People Podcast. You are going to love this episode. Make sure you stick through the whole episode, take notes, and most importantly, apply it to your life. Whether you struggle with this or someone you know and love, or maybe even somebody you don’t like.

Send this episode to them so they can get help grow, be a better person, and the world becomes a better place. And I’m not saying as a [00:01:00] shameful promotion for the podcast, I’m saying it because our love and passion is truly for God and other people. And we want to see you grow. So, at this time, today’s episode is a woman who’s totally transparent with us.

She talks about growing up in a dysfunctional home, how she had to learn behavior from her parents who got divorced at her early age, how she felt like a pinball Ping pong ball going back and forth between them. How she became a functioning alcoholic before she was even in high school, how she was attracted to a man and it was the same type of dysfunctional relationship and how because of the emotional pain, she self-medicated with anorexia, alcoholism, and all sorts of other ways.

Ultimately getting her diabetes in cancer and other autoimmune diseases. Now, she’s not only learned to overcome these obstacles and these pain in her life, but she teaches [00:02:00] others how to do it as well. So, you’re going to see a coach. She is a holistic practitioner that helps people recover, so they don’t necessarily have to go through modern medicine.

That can sometimes give you more harm than good. And the episode is about finding balance in life and relationships and kind of dig into the root in yourself, loving yourself. But in a healthy waste, you can love others. So, there’s so much in this episode way more than I discussed. So, get your pen and paper ready.

A cup of coffee, milk, whatever you feel like drinking. It’s, it’s not going to kill you, right? And let’s enjoy this episode, the Magic Barclay story.

EPISODE RPP Magic Barclay 7Nov22:

Hey magic, how are you today? I’m great. How are you man? I’m fantastic. I was just telling our listeners just a little about you and your story, so they are ready to hear it.

Before we begin though, I always ask the guest one [00:03:00] question. Someone just turned the podcast on and they’re going to listen to your episode and get gold all through your story and then how to apply it. But if you had one message that you’re like, if you listen to this, you will get this and I want to help you in any way, what’s that one message you want to make sure is communicated that they know they can look forward?

The one message is how you show up today matters. It doesn’t matter what’s happened in your past, where you’ve come from, but how you present today, what you do today, that’s what matters. Awesome. So ladies and gentlemen, you heard my intro. You heard it right? For magic. So magic at this time. You had a whole life from birth through today.

Bring us through your stories, the highs, the lows, the everything in between, so we know what grew you to this point in life that that’s such a passion in your life. Yeah. Well look, I came from a quite a traumatic [00:04:00] childhood. You know, my parents were split when I was really little and became the, the ping pong ball between the two of ’em, I guess, through a long divorce.

Fast forward into teen years. I kind of had a lot of issues going on. I was an alcoholic, I was anorexic and. I just wanted someone that paid attention to me because, you know, I, I’d spent most of my life just being forgotten, and so I met a guy who put me on a pedestal and I thought, wow, this is fantastic.

Turned out to be exactly the opposite, so was in a very unhappy marriage for quite a long time. Luckily, hi. I got two wonderful kids out of it Wasn’t all bad, low. I had to leave in a hurry with my kids. So this all happened right before I found out I had cancer and diabetes and a number of other things going on.[00:05:00]

So I really had to look at where my life had taken. How I’d gotten it and what I was going to do about it, and that’s where I looked at all the things in my past, had absolutely nothing to do with anything apart from the fact that they were dramatic. It was what I did today that mattered. So I took my health into my own hands.

I became the best single parent I could be because my kids didn’t want anything to do with their dad. You know, I had to show up every day, no matter how crap I felt, because, you know, I had stage four cancer. There were days that I could barely even get outta bed. I had to show up because I also had two kids watching me and I had to show them what a strong person looked like.

So that’s it in a nutshell. A lot going on. My journey into health took me into functional medicine, which is where I am [00:06:00] now. And you know what? I teach that to my kids because I still tell them What you do today matters. You know, whether you’re going to use some essential oils, whether you’re going to look at dietary changes to keep you healthy.

What happens today matters. What you did yesterday doesn’t. That’s excellent advice and it’s hard. You wanna learn from the past. But you don’t want to dwell on it. And there’s a really fine line of balance there, right? There is because the more you dwell on it, the more trauma you’re causing yourself.

Yeah. Yeah. So let’s, we’re going to definitely break that down, but let’s go back. It sounds like the first thing that you experienced was, you said like a ping pong ball back and forth between your parents and divorce, and it sounds like you had learned behavior and you absorbed. And then you were kind of drawn to it, whether you realized it or not at that time in a marriage.

So what kind of things did you experience in your childhood that you [00:07:00] subconsciously craved in your adulthood? It was the negative attention. So it was the tit for tat fighting. You know what? I saw my parents do it. And that’s exactly what happened in my marriage. It was the devaluing of the other person.

I saw my parents do it, and of course, it’s exactly what happened in my marriage, and it was the lack of true affection. The lack of understanding. The lack of know. Personalities, like there was basically no education there. My parents were two people that should never have gotten together, and again, in my marriage, my ex-husband and I should never have gotten together.

So it was really that pattern continuance, and it wasn’t until I did a whole lot of self development work, then I realized, You know what? It takes two to 10 go. It wasn’t just me being a victim, I was contributing in my marriage, and I saw that with both my parents as well. And it was about learning who [00:08:00] you are, and I think.

That is the key that no matter what relationship you’re in, whether it be a marriage, a friendship, a business part, partnership, you know your next door neighbor’s, friendship, whatever it is, you need to know who you are because if you don’t, you can’t expect the other person to communicate effectively.

And for those people listening, some people know because they’re in a terrible relationship and hindsight’s 20. Some people are listening now all over the world, and they’re like, you know what? She’s saying things that are eerily familiar and I’m about to get married. What advice do you have for the people listening?

What were the red flags? How do they identify the red flags and how do they process them properly? Because just because somebody has a flaw like your mother or father, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t marry. But at the same time, if that’s what’s attracting you to them and you’re trying to quote unquote fix them, that’s an issue.

So [00:09:00] talk about those two things. Identifying the red flags and how to kind of process them so you know, is this dangerous or is this just life? Sure. Well, red flags come in, I guess, many variants. You know, you’ve got your true red, you’ve got your blood red, you know, there’s so many shades of red. So what you’re really looking for is something that doesn’t make you feel good.

Because if you don’t feel good, the way you project to the other person in a relationship is changed. It morphs. And so they’re going to retaliate. They’re going to reflect you not feeling good by them not feeling good. Sounds a bit more complex than it needs to be, but anything that you go do, you know what?

I don’t like what he said. It doesn’t make me feel great. Red flag. I don’t like what he. There’s something about it, red flag also, you have to look at, you know, especially if you’re about to get married, look at [00:10:00] the family that you’re about to marry into. Okay. So in my case, my ex’s parents were still together.

I thought that was the bee’s knees, because you know, I came from a family that broke up when I was three, but the relationship between his parents, Was something that I didn’t actually look at properly. I was just looking at the big, the macro chunks of their relationship, but not about how they interacted, not about how they spoke to each other, and so therefore what he’d learnt.

Now I knew that what I’d learnt wasn’t great because. , you know, I had two opposing sides at each other at war all the time. So you really have to look at things, like I said, that don’t make you feel great. You have to listen to your gut. You know, we’ve all heard of gut instinct. You’re walking down the street, you wanna cross the road and something tells you don’t step onto the road.

There might be a bus coming [00:11:00] and sure enough, a couple of seconds later, bus comes hurtling down the street and you’re like, wow. Thanks, gut. You saved me there. Do the same in a relationship. If that gut instinct is saying something’s not quite right, it’s probably not. And here’s big tip, and this is planned particularly for the ladies.

We always do this. We think, do you know what? He’s not perfect, but I can change him. I can teach him. No, you can’t. You’re not his mom. You’re his partner. Do not try and take the lame duck into a relationship because. It’s just going to go all kinds of sideways. It is not your job to fix anyone. It is not your job to change anyone.

The only person that you can change and heal is yourself. So when you’re looking for red flags, really do look for things that trigger you because there’s a reason why that. Is excellent advice. Excellent advice. [00:12:00] Now let’s talk about every person has flaws and coming from relationship to another relationship.

That brings baggage, and I don’t care who you are, like the biblical model is you stay pure, you marry someone, and then you learn to interact and share life in all ways. But that physical connection’s huge. We have a society that pushes, have sex with everybody, pick the best one, and then get married. And it’s really not even relationally focused, but it doesn’t matter if somebody’s been with one person or a hundred people, they’re bringing in landmines.

They’re bringing in emotion. So when we see red flags or we feel something, it may not be towards that human. It may be something we’re carrying with us. So what did you learn to overcome this in your life? That, okay, now you recognize a red flag, but how do you process it to see like, okay, is that him or is that me?

Is that her or is that me? You see what I’m saying? Yeah, definitely. Look, the first thing [00:13:00] is, you know, have a really honest conversation with yourself, and we don’t do this enough. You know, we kind of take something in half, the information gets in and we justify it to ourselves. Don’t do that. Have a really honest conversation with yourself, and then from there, have an honest conversation with the other person.

So say someone. Well, we use an old standard, doesn’t put the toilet seat down, you know, and you got a big problem with it. It really bothers. You have that conversation to say, this is why this bothers me. This is my belief around when you leave the toilet seat up. This is the practicality around when you leave the toilet seat.

Be honest. It might not be a conversation that you particularly want to have, but it’s one that. Kind of need to have, you really have to put it out there. [00:14:00] Do not expect someone else in the relationship to be a mind reader. And when it comes to baggage, just say, Hey, I’ve experienced this before. It’s a problem for me.

Here it is. Here’s my bags. Go through the bag, check. Get on with it. Don’t put too much emotion on it. Be more factual and just say, this is what I’m dealing. Hopefully we can work through it together, but it’s kind of my problem. I’m going to work with it. Don’t expect the other person to do your healing for you.

Yeah, we’re there to be each other’s help, meaning to help each other grow, but it’s not an obligation and we can’t find famil fulfillment in anybody but God. So I’m totally tracking with you. Now, obviously, let’s talk about the balance too. You’re not unloading everything on the first. But you shouldn’t be waiting until you’re engaged and a year later also unpacking this baggage.

So how do you balance that when you’re talking [00:15:00] to someone? Yeah, well look, obviously, you know, you’ve got your first date etiquette, you’re going to be polite, you’re going to see if there’s kind of some spark that you’re going to see if there’s some congruence going on there. And then as you progress through the dates, you’re definitely going to start opening up a little.

Don’t do a baggage from it. Like definitely don’t do it, but just say, Hey listen, there’s more to me and I’d like to tell you when do you think is a great time? Ask the other person to invite you to unpack your baggage. Don’t just dump it on them like they have to be willing to hear it say it, and if they go, do you know what?

I don’t care. your baggage. I’m not interested. Maybe they’re not interested in you because maybe they also don’t care about your values and your beliefs. Maybe they don’t care about, you know, what your vision of the future is. Or you know, when you do get married down the track, [00:16:00] maybe they don’t want you to do a certain thing you don’t know until you’ve had that conversation.

So, You know, definitely ask them when is a good time to explore this? And if they don’t want to, maybe they’re not the right person. Yeah, I think that’s good advice. I didn’t grow up with my dad, but I formed a relationship with him later in life, and we are just visiting him recently and he’s, he was joking around, but he was serious.

He says, I eat lunch every day. At this restaurant, sometimes with friends, sometimes with my family, sometimes usually by myself. He’s like, I’d rather have no company and be alone with God, than have bad company or fake friends. And I think that’s what you were saying, in other words. Yeah. So, okay, so you grow up.

You know, you got ups and downs. Is there anything between, you know, your birth and before you left, let’s say, you know, your, your beginning education before you went off to university or the workforce, is [00:17:00] there anything in that period that grew you or influenced you to who you are today that you want to cover?

Yeah, definitely. You know, I’ve, I’ve said it at the start of this show. I was an alcoholic early, so I was in high school. And getting straight A’s you know, cuz I was a bit of an nerd doing sciences and maths cuz that was cool for me, . But I was drinking, so I was a functional alcoholic. And I remember being 16 and getting absolutely wasted and I passed out, blacked out.

Passed out in the middle of a really busy street here in Melbourne and Victoria, Australia. And two of the most unlikely people scrape me off the road and they were actually bikes. And you know, I’d led quite a sheltered life. My mother had said, you know, bikes were bad and all this kind of thing. So I [00:18:00] had that assumption and these two hairy leather clad guys pulled me off the road and said, Hey little girl, what are you doing?

Where can we take you? That’s safe. And why did you do this? And they sat with me and helped me sober up, and they actually spoke to me and they said, we live in a world of, you know, lots of alcohol, some drugs, we kinda live the fast life, but we know what we are doing. What are you doing? You’re 16 and you are in danger because you’re in the middle of a road blacked out.

You know, I learned from couple of the most unusual people, not to I guess, prejudge people, but also not to prejudge myself. The reason why I’d written myself off with alcohol was, you know, I just didn’t know who I was continuing theme of my life, but these guys sat me down and in some kind of [00:19:00] zen monk moment, these two guys went, what the heck are you doing to.

And what is that doing to the people that care about you? And that’s the bit I’d never even imagined. You know, I thought no one cared about me. And then I realized, hang on, I’ve got friends at school that worry about me. They’re going home to their parents and watching TV and you know, doing their homework.

I’m getting blackout drunk in the middle of Swan Street. So, you know, I also didn’t realize it had a flow and effect. My teachers. My teachers cared about. and I would rock up with a hangover the next morning and have to work really hard all day to keep my grades up. They were worried about me, so they were going home after a day of work going, what is wrong with this kid?

You know? Yeah. She gets straight A’s, but she has to work so hard because she writes herself off the night before. So, you know, I didn’t look at the on flowing impact of what I was doing to myself, what it did to other people. [00:20:00] So definitely if someone from any walk of life reaches out to help. Take the help, listen to them and don’t write their information that they’re giving you off because you think they’re an unsuitable person.

I’m really glad I listened to those bikes and you know, they were good friends of mine for many, many years. Yeah, and that is true. We can have such an unexpected source. And even if I believe personally, we can learn from every. Some people have a ton of wisdom. Some people don’t have a lot, but we can even learn from their mistakes.

And if these gen, these men were being gentlemen and they’re helping you and like, Hey, we’re here and this isn’t a place you want to be, it’s good. You listen to that wisdom early on. So from that moment in life, where did life take you? Did you immediately stop drinking? Was it a transition? How did life go for you?

No, it wasn’t an immediate thing because I was addicted. In fact, it was another 10 [00:21:00] years before I actually stopped drinking, but I started looking at why I was drinking. And you know, it took me a couple of years to go through the, but I like it. That’s why. And then I realized now, hang on, there’s more to this.

Unfortunately, I had an eating disorder as well, so there was a lot going on mentally for me. But it was the slow unpacking of why am I doing this to myself? Why am I writing myself off? What is that telling me about the world? You know, do I not have any. in anything, let alone myself. You know, I’ve never been much of a, a religious person.

I do believe in a higher power, but I didn’t believe in myself. Whether you believe in God, higher power, you know, whatever it is, father, son, mother, earth. If you don’t have a sense of. Nothing else can help you because you’ve got your walls up. You’re [00:22:00] not going to be taking in anything. And for me, that was the problem.

My walls were up. Now I have to say, it was an incremental learning process for me. I, like I said, I didn’t stop drinking. I didn’t get blackout drunk in the middle of a road again, but I didn’t stop drinking until I got pregnant with my first son. So, you know. The learnings that you get every day, and don’t expect to change overnight.

Don’t say, I’m an alcoholic. I’m going to stop drinking today. That’s it. Now, there’s a reason why there’s AA in the 12 steps. You have to take it step by step no matter what your issue is, no matter what your problem is. You know, be thankful for yourself for each step that you take. I was thankful I wasn’t blackout drunk in the middle of a road.

And then I was thankful that I was only drinking three times a week. And then I was thankful that I was only drinking once a week. [00:23:00] And then I was thankful that I could stop completely. And now I’m thankful that I can go out to dinner with someone, have one drink, I’m okay. I don’t crave it, I don’t need it, you know, it has no ownership over me.

And more often than not, I don’t even drink. I’ll just have, you know, a juice or something. So what I’m saying to you listeners is take each step, thank yourself for that step, and don’t expect to change your life overnight. Congratulate yourself for all the, the steps along the way. Yeah. And while you were doing that, would you say that your alcoholism, you can look back now and it was your medicating pain?

Is that why you were drinking? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, definitely. I numb pain. Yeah, I numbed the pain with alcohol. I numbed the pain with not eating, so I was punishing myself. You know, I never turned to drugs, thank goodness. But you know, there was a lot of things I wasn’t ready [00:24:00] to face. And you know, one thing I can say is no matter how you are self-medicating, the problem is still there.

So take on the problem. Get rid of the crutch and take on the problem. Yeah. And you did a great job explaining how it was a process, and thank you for being so open and sharing that magic while you were doing this. What kind of conscious effort? So we have listeners now all over the world. Like I’m medicating pain, and it really doesn’t matter if it’s alcohol, anorexia, drug use, pornography, eating, gluttony, it doesn’t matter.

It’s medicating pain’s, medicating pain. So what did you do aside from the catalyst of these two bikers, what other things did you do to continue to grow over the months and years? It took a number of years for me to learn what self development was like a number of years. In fact, I had both my kids by the time I started [00:25:00] that journey.

But it was little things along the way of, okay, when this happens, that’s how I feel, and then that’s what I do. It was really mapping out my responses to everything, you know, it was. When I was in my marriage, he said this, he did that. Wow, I’ve seen that before. That must be the way it is. And then you know, the realization that, no, hang on, this is how I’m reacting to it.

It’s really dissecting the situation. And that was something I learned to do long before I did self development, was dissect the situation. What was the cause? What is the context of that and what was the consequence? This is something I teach my clients a lot to do is, you know, the cause is the event. So for me it was drinking and the context was, I feel so crap, I just wanna numb [00:26:00] everything.

And the consequence was passing out in the middle of a road. So, you know, it all has this flow on effect. So if you do nothing else, break it down into its, its pieces, its parcel. That’s great advice. So now you get out of high school, you’re working the right direction, but you’re still drinking, you’re still anorexic.

Work us through there and you know, just keep the journey continuing. Did you meet your husband in high school, college? How did you like? Nice. I have always been one of these people that I decide to do something and I jump into it, and I think about it later. It’s always been who I am. You know, I was doing it in high school.

I wanted to hang out with. The eighties bands. So I did it. I thought about it later. Then, you know, out of school I wanted to travel and work. I was in hospitality at the time, so I did it and I thought about it later. You know, I [00:27:00] changed states. I moved to states, didn’t even know where I was going. And then when I got there and rented a house and went, oh, okay, here I am.

Now it’s time to think about it. So I’ve always been that person after all of that happened. I decided I wanted to race cars, so through my hospitality working, I met a Formula One team. I made some very good friends there, and in discussions with them, I decided I wanted to race a car. I’d never driven a go-kart, you know?

Yeah, I’d done speeding on the the roads a few times, but I had no idea about race craft or anything like. So one of these friends from this formula one team said, well, you’ve gotta learn racecraft. You’ve gotta learn race driving, you’ve gotta get a car. Here’s the category I think you should start in. So the type of car you should start in, look for a club that does that in Australia.

So I did all that [00:28:00] right, had the decision. Race cars. I had the, the action, the thought came later to actually research it and it was racing those cars. I met my ex-husband, and again, one of these people does things and thinks about it later, my biological clock was ticking and I was 27, so actually 26 when I met him.

So I thought for some reason in my head, I wanna have baby. I can’t have baby unless I’m married. So what did I do? Six months later, I got married, got pregnant, straight away, thought about it later, decided to do something, did it, and then went, oh, now what’s going to happen? So that was how I met him. That was how I had my first son in a blink of an eye.

And yeah, it all came from racing. Very nice. You got a beautiful son and you said you have two sons, right? I have two sons, yeah. So you go from the marriage, having your first son, keep moving [00:29:00] through your life and then stop wherever. Okay. So had my first son, he had some behavioral issues, decided that must be cuz he’s an only child.

So I got pregnant with my daughter. She didn’t make it unfortunately, so then I thought, He’s still an only child. His behavior’s getting worse, have another child. So then I had my second son was after that. That really, my marriage completely disintegrated. We stayed for 14 years, the kids and I, and the reason was I didn’t wanna be the cause of another broken home.

You know? I wanted my kids to have two parents no matter what. So I stayed and it wasn’t nice like, He was abusive. I was reactive. I can’t say I was an angel. I, I was probably verbally abusive at the time too, and my kids were seeing this and for some reason in my head I thought, I’ve come from a broken home.

I don’t want [00:30:00] them to stay. And, you know, they were being exposed to a heck of a lot of stuff that they didn’t need to be. So moving forward, had another decision. Didn’t think what that looked like. So I left long, drawn out, court battle, lost most of the stuff, but hey, I kept the kids and the pets and you know, I’ve, like I said, repeated this pattern of decide something.

Think about it later. I decided I’d leave. I thought about it later. What does that mean financially? What does that mean? You know, roof over our heads kind of thing. So that’s kind of been my life pattern. I have changed that now. I do a lot of thinking. If you could see what’s on my desk, there’s list after list after list.

I’m a a list person and never used to be. I probably overthink things sometimes now, but you know, it’s better not thinking at all. I. Yeah, [00:31:00] no, absolutely. So you are in this marriage. You had a broken model. He had a broken model, even though his family was still married. You’re raising two kids, it gets abusive.

It sounds like physical abuse, verbal abuse, you know, you guys aren’t, it’s like, what is this saying? It’s like oil and water on top of it. Yeah. And then 14 years, you know, they say every seven years, that’s when most divorces happen. So you get to that 14 year mark, you decide to get divorced, and then from there, where does your life go?

So from there, my life descended into long, drawn out court battles. At the same time being diagnosed with cancer and diabetes, I’d already had a stroke and then later on had a heart attack. And you know, that was kind of a big journey of all the stuff that had happened up to that point. Led to my cancer, it led to my [00:32:00] diabetes, it led to my autoimmune, and it was stuff that, you know, I’m sitting in the doctor’s surgery and they’re going, Hey, this, this, and this is happening to you.

Do you have any idea why? And I was like, No, it just happened and that was the thing where I had to learn. Things don’t just happen. Your body reacts to things, reacts to stress. Guess what? I’d become a stress junkie. You know, here I was, early forties and I know nothing but stress. And the way I was treating my body, the way I was talking to myself, the way I was beating myself up for my marriage or beating myself up for my childhood, that all contributed.

So that’s kind of when I started looking into functional medicine and what I could do to change my life. But also what I could do is I guess my next chapter in life. [00:33:00] This means something to me. I’m passionate about this, and so this is the next road to take in my career. Yeah, and I think if people, for our listeners, if you’re listening right now and magic’s talking about how the emotions, how the stress, how the pain that she carried with her led to diabetes and cancer and all these different issues within her body that is so real.

There’s, I mean, you can get sickness. From environment, you can get sicknesses from your diet, putting poison in your body. But most of these sicknesses and illness the people struggle with all over the world, not just in America, are because we’re internalizing pain and not letting it go. And that is huge.

So I don’t know if you’re going to get to that on your journey, but I definitely want to talk about the how to release the pain, how to heal from the inside. Yeah, well on [00:34:00] my journey I read a book called When the Body Says No, and that’s by Dr. G Matte. And in this, he was talking about, you know, how we store emotion and what that means to the body.

He discussed a pathway called the P N E I of trauma, and that’s the psycho neuro endo immunology of trauma. So it’s psycho, it’s the thoughts, it’s the feelings, it’s the beliefs or the limbic center of the brain that then conveys messages to the nervous system so that the neural response happens. That could be, you know, might look like fibromyalgia or nerve pain.

Because of some trauma, then that leads to an endocrine response. So it could be the hot flashes every time you get stressed, you know, it could be dizziness when you feel like you just can’t cope. And then that leads to the immune [00:35:00] system. The immune system sees all of this and makes a response, and that usually looks like an autoimmune.

Not always, but usually. And so when I was reading about this, I. This makes so much sense, and I actually now teach this to other practitioners because no body system works alone. So the stress, the trauma that happens, you have a physical response, you have an emotional response, you have a logical response, okay?

The physical, your response is to stay alive. Your emotional response is what you make it mean to you, and your logical response is what you. To either leave the situation or somehow stay and just exist and you know, all of this matters. So I love that I’ve learned about the P N E I. And you know, all you can say is the things that you [00:36:00] are thinking and feeling today.

Even the things that you say to yourself, your body hears it all. Your body will match you. So if you say, wow, today’s a really crap. Okay, guess what? It’s going to be a really crap day because your whole body is going to try and find evidence to make it true. Whereas if something happens first thing in the morning, you go, do you know what?

I didn’t like that. That was really crappy, but it’s not going to change my day. It’s not going to affect my day because it’s one isolated thing. Now I can turn it around. Your body will match you and respond, and you’ll have a much better. Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. I mean that’s, so we hear it in all different ways, shapes and forms.

The bio talks about as a man think is so is he talks about how the things we say will come back to us. So make sure you’re saying positive things cuz you don’t want trash to come back. Right. So that, and that’s really a lot of, sometimes our personalities, [00:37:00] sometimes learn behavior, sometimes just watching people and like, oh, everybody does it.

That must be how it should be. But you’re right, it’s not. You’re sick, you’re going through a court battle and divorce. Super stressful time in life to have cancer on top of it. Insanity. Right? How did you get through that? Bring us from there through today. Magic. Well, you know, step by step again, I went, okay, well I need to have the surgery for the cancer.

I didn’t want to, but it was one of the court stipulations, so I did that. Then I. Chemo and radiation don’t sound right to me. So what am I going to do? I’m going to look into natural ways to heal this. I raised money and got myself over to Bali for a five day retreat. That was the first time I’d been away from my kids for that amount of time, and I thought, do you know what?

I have to do this. I have to put me first just for a little [00:38:00] bit, then I can come back to them as a better person. I did that, and then I started investigating functional medicine and why this had happened, not what could I do about it. I mean, that was part of it. Why did it happen? Because if I fix one thing, And I don’t address the why things are going to keep happening.

So, you know, that was a really big step for me. I changed a lot of the products in the house. I used to be a person that would clean with disinfectant every single day. You know, the place smelt like, I don’t know a hospital half the time, but you know, I changed to non-toxic cleaning products. I started living my life instead of vacuuming the floor every day, I was like, Hey kids, let’s go to the park.

The floor can wait. There’s only two little patches with cat hair or something. We’ll just do a spot clean on those. So I actually started living my life rather than, you know, trying to keep the house [00:39:00] perfect or trying to do things. I was like that. My priorities changed, and that was a big part of my healing journey, was put myself first, put my relationships first.

All the stuff can wait. You know, planning what we’re cooking for dinner shouldn’t take my mind all day. So I said I’m a list person now. My kids who are now young, And I, we all share a house and we write a menu on a whiteboard once a week. We do it on a Sunday. It starts on the Monday, and so we know what’s for dinner, so I can, you know, take the meat out or whatever in the morning, have it all prepared, do the shopping once a week and I can go and live my life.

We can go and ride our bikes, you know, we do medieval up. We can go and practice that over in the park. Rather than me going, oh my God, what do I have to do for dinner? Like, this is my whole day. So it was [00:40:00] really, for me, part of my healing journey was learning what priorities were and really putting my relationships first, my relationships with my kids and my relationship with me, rather than the day to day monotonous mechanics of life.

Yeah. And I think. Can never bespoken, you know, it says Love God is the greatest commandment and love others, you know, love that neighbor as myself. And you’re right. But in between there, if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others. So I think we got this false message for generations that if you take care of yourself, you’re selfish.

If you put time or money into yourself, you’re selfish. Now there’s obviously again, a balance. Balance is a key, but to. Pay attention to yourself. You, you’re just destroying your body, your mind, your soul, and you’re putting damage to your kids. Cuz not only are they not getting the best of you, but they’re going to learn that behavior too.

And they’re [00:41:00] going to suffer and have to overcome it. So that’s really cool. So you have cancer, you start looking at alternative medicine and functional medicine. Talk about how did you get through the cancer? Yeah, well look, a lot of it for me, like I said, I had the surgery. A lot of it for me was changing the terrain of my body.

So there’s germ theory, which is treat the germ, treat the pathogen, treat the trigger. And there’s terrain theory, which is change your internal environment, change the landscape, the physical landscape of your body so that things can’t affect. As badly, they’ll still affect you, but you’ll recover. And so I really loved diving into that.

That’s something I teach my kids now, you know, they, they get a cold and I say, okay, the pathogen’s not the problem. But you haven’t been out in the [00:42:00] sunshine. You have mean sleeping well. You’re not hydrated. Maybe let’s fix the terrain first and sure enough, the cold will clear up. So, you know, it’s something that I loved learning.

I had to put it into my daily life and it got me through the worst of times. Nice. So between then and now, Going through the divorce, going through cancer, is there anything else we missed or anything you want to dig into to help people who might be going through the same hardship in their life right now?

Yeah, there’s a big, yeah, there’s a big part there, and it’s, I guess, an underlying theme, and we’ve spoken a little bit about it during this podcast, but your self talk matters. Okay. What you say to yourself every day. Really, really matters. There are enough people in a world that will put you [00:43:00] down. They have no idea what you’re going through.

They have no idea what your daily life looks like. They’ll put you down either to make themselves feel better or you know, just to make I guess a blame shift happen. So everything’s all your fault. Nothing’s ever their fault. Could just be a stranger, just sneeze at you in the street. Maybe they’re having a bad.

They’re always going to wanna put you down. So don’t do it for yourself. Leave it to them. If they wanna spend their energy and their time, you know, being creepy, then let ’em. Don’t do it to yourself. You don’t have to walk around going, oh no, I’ve got wrinkles. Oh no, I’m fat. Oh no, I’m losing my hair. You know, I’m this, or I’m stupid, or I’m that.

Don’t do it. Leave it to the people. That walk past you in the street and make a pre-judgment and you know, think something of you or might say something or whatever, leave it to be their problem. [00:44:00] Your issue, your need is to build yourself up. Always build yourself up. Doesn’t matter how many people want to tear you down, because at the end of the day, there’s one person that you’re with all the time or one person that matters and that’s you.

So you. Teach yourself to be kind to yourself and role model that for your family role. Model that for your friends, because it’s not something that we’re taught as children. As you said, you know, we’re told self care is selfish. Well, here in Australia we have a thing called to Poppy syndrome as well. So if you start doing well, someone’s ready to cut you off at the knees.

So we sort of learn, don’t be successful, don’t be happy with ourselves, cuz someone will say, oh, you just love yourself. That used to be a negative. Someone says that now. Yeah, I do. You’re right. And it doesn’t matter what you think of me cuz I do love myself. [00:45:00] So always, you know, watch what you’re saying to yourself.

Tell yourself that you do love you and don’t be ashamed of it. And what did you say that’s called in Australia when people put you down for being successful? Self poppy to poppy syndrome. Really? And what the poppy, what is poppy? Popp is a flower that grows really, really tall and you know when someone’s planting it like in a farm or something.

Because it can grow really tall. They cut it down so that the smaller plants underneath can get the sun. So, you know. Yeah, that’s what it’s called. Tall poppy syndrome. Tall. That’s the first time I’ve heard that. And I’m sure many of our listeners, tall poppy syndrome. All right, man. Yeah. Self-talk. Huge, huge, huge.

So many people, they’re hearing within their mind these horrible statements and. One of [00:46:00] my friends, he was actually on the podcast, Rob Jackson, he taught me, you know, sometimes we think these thoughts about ourselves, but sometimes saying, tries to plan ’em in our head. And he says, what are the voices saying?

Not like you’re hearing voices crazy, but are you hearing I am horrible, I am worthless. Or you hearing your horrible, you’re worthless. It’s like that’s the difference between if you know it’s a thought that you have or if Saint’s Planet, it’s like, either way it’s a. But he is like, so go back to truth.

But he is like, that way you can identify at least the source of the evil. So I thought that was brilliant, brilliant way to just easily diagnose what’s going on with you. So now you’re doing this, you’re learning self talk, you’re taking care of yourself, you’re going to Bali to do a cleanse from there to today.

Where did your life go? Magic. Yeah. Look from there, my life went into. And I said to my kids, I need to study. I need to heal my body and I [00:47:00] need to heal my mind and I need to heal our relationship. And one thing my younger one said to me was, there’s nothing wrong with our relationship mum. And I said, actually there is cuz I’m not the best person I can be.

So I’m teaching you to not be the best person you can be. And that’s wrong in our relationship. So, you know, I went to a whole lot. Courses and actually traveled to Malaysia for one of them and, you know, around Australia for a whole lot of them, and came back and said, okay, now I think I know how to be the best person I can be, and now I want you guys to do that too.

So, you know, it’s, it’s a work in progress with some. Young men, 20 somethings to teach them that. But that’s part of my mission as their mum is to say, okay, this is how you evaluate what’s going on in your life. This is how you work on yourself, and this is how you be a better person. Excellent advice. [00:48:00] Well, I’ve learned a ton.

I’m super thankful for you being here today. Between your birth and today. Is there anything we missed on your journey that we need to cover or you wanna discuss? No. 50 years of trials and tribulations and here I am. That’s awesome. And I love who I am. That’s a beautiful thing that makes me happy just to hear it, so I’m so thankful you can say that.

And for our listeners, if they can’t. They want to get ahold of you. Let’s talk about where’s magic today? You know, what are you up to? Where are you heading and how can people reach you if they want to continue the conversation? Definitely, well, everything is on my website. That’s www.holisticnaturalhealth.com.au.

It’s holistic with a W in front of it. Don’t forget the au at the end, and there you’ll find my blog. You’ll find my podcast, A [00:49:00] Magical Life, health, wealth, and Weight Loss. You’ll find all of the services that my team can provide, and you’ll find a thing called a root cause analysis. So if you’re dealing.

Any kind of health issue definitely ask for a root cause analysis. We’ll send you an intake form. We work via Zoom all across the world, and that root cause analysis is complimentary. We can give you some ideas where your health might need to go. We might offer to work with you. We might send you to another practitioner, or we might say, Hey, look, here’s some tips.

Have at it. If you wanna work on self development or anything, just send us a contact on that website to say, Hey, I heard you on the podcast. I’m interested in, you know, how I can grow my sense of self, or how can I heal my talking to myself? You know, do any of that. Reach out on the website. Excellent.

Excellent. Well, magic has been a true honor to have you here today. I’m super [00:50:00] thankful and I appreciate your time. Ladies and gentlemen, like our slogan says, don’t just listen to Magic’s story and the great advice she’s giving. Do it, repeat it each day. Like magic said, it’s a process so you can have a great life in this world, but most importantly, an attorney to come.

On average, it doesn’t matter what country you’re from, we’re here for 70 to 80 years. That’s a speck of a grain that fell off a speck of sand. Attorneys forever. So make sure your eternal salvation is taken care of. Make sure you have joy and peace in your life and you’re walking with God. And if you need help to get there on the way, talk to magic.

You’ve heard what she’s been through, just a piece of it. She can help you. And like she said, I love you said, if I can’t help you, we’ll tell you to go somewhere else. Right. So that’s fantastic. So thank you for being here today. Magic. Thanks so much for having me. It’s been. Oh, it’s been a pleasure. And ladies and gentlemen, check out Magic’s website.

Share this [00:51:00] episode with your friends, family, and maybe even people you don’t like who need the help, right? Share it again. We’re not doing that Shameless promotion, so we grow the podcast, we’re doing it so we grow people. We want to help as many people as we can. So have a great day. Magic. Thank you again.

And to our listeners, we love you. We want to hear your success story and your remarkable journey soon.