Ron Reich | Never Feeling “Good Enough”, Running from Our Problems, & Overcoming Life without Medicating Pain:
Have you ever felt not good enough at something or in life? Were you raised by a perfectionist as a parent? Are you medicating the pain in life with a alcohol drug, pornography food or any other source? If you are this episode’s for you. Check it out now.
Hello friends. Welcome to this week’s episode. The remarkable people podcast, the Ron Reich story this week, Ron’s super transparent and open with us about how, as a young man, he was raised by a father he loved and [00:01:00] loved him. But his father was a perfectionist and he felt like he was never good enough.
And even though this wasn’t really a conscious decision, it carried with him through life and it ended up in alcoholism, divorce in all sorts of destructive ways. So while you’re listening to this episode, the first 20 minutes is really Ron’s back story. But hang with it, go through the old whole episode.
There’s tons of gold. There’s tons of help and nuggets. So if you, or someone you love, or even someone you know, is struggling with an addiction and doesn’t know how to break the madness and the cycle Ron’s, story’s gonna help you. He’s gonna talk about the never feeling. Good enough. He’s gonna talk about running from the past and how that never works.
And then he’s gonna talk. Overcoming life and the scenarios that life throws at us and the [00:02:00] challenges without using drugs, alcohol porn, or any other kind of medication. Okay. So this is the remarkable people podcast. This is the Ron Wright story. Get your pens and papers, ready to take notes and know we love you.
We’re here from you. Reach out to Ron or myself. We wanna help you in any way we can. There’s links in the show notes, and we’re also gonna discuss how you can reach Ron at the end of the episode. So at this time, A business coach, an entrepreneur, a HR expert, a man who trains and develops people for a living is about to share his personal testimony with you of the highs, the lows and everything in between.
Welcome to the Ron Rike story.
Ron Reich | Never Feeling “Good Enough”, Running from Our Problems, & Overcoming Life without Medicating Pain: Hey, Ron, how are you today, [00:03:00] brother David. I’m doing fine. Thank you. It’s nice to be here. It’s great to have you and for our listeners, I just told them a little bit about you and how you’re so dedicated and steadfast. You’re actually recording from your iPhone because the power’s out and construction’s being done in your neighborhood and your home.
So thank you so much. my pleasure. All right, well, let me ask you a question, Ron, before we start, if you had one message to deliver to our community today in our audience, what would it be? We’re gonna have time to go deep and wide through your life. Learn tons of lessons that you’re gonna share with us.
But if there was one main message that listeners are gonna get outta this episode, what would that. You know what I, I think what, what, it would be one of the most effective things that anybody can do on any level is get to know yourself extraordinarily well, because the better, you know, yourself, [00:04:00] the more effectively you’re gonna be able to interact with people in your professional life, in your personal life.
And it is, it is just an absolute critical skill to have. And I think a lot of people miss out on that. Awesome. So ladies and gentlemen, like we said, in the introduction, and like you heard Ron, just say, that’s just a piece of the message that you can expect in this episode. So get your pens and paper ready.
But at this time, Ron, we go through your, from your birth to today. So where were you born? What was your upbringing like? Let’s start from that. Sure sure. Born born and raised in Northern New Jersey. I am the youngest of four. My oldest sister is 13 years older than I am. My brother is 10 years older than I am.
And Lorraine, my other sister is seven years older than I am. So we have a pretty interesting [00:05:00] dynamics with the age differences there. Growing up David really pretty, pretty typical. I am going to say, I mean, mean my, my earliest memories are, are always that I loved sports and I, I, I, I loved being athletic.
I loved sports. I loved competing. And the other thing that, that always, I, I always found myself doing was trying to help people. I I’ve always been drawn to that. I’ve always been quote unquote attracted to that. And I mean, there’s actually some interesting research on that, that we can talk about maybe even later on in the show because it doesn’t surprise me today that those are the things I was interested in when I was a little kid and I mean, just, just growing up again, pretty, pretty typical [00:06:00] got to high school and, you know, I think that’s, that’s where things started to get a little bit interesting.
If you will, and I’ll put interesting in quotes because when, when I got to high school, I realized I am a decent athlete. Not a great one, decent and I am also, you know, I had, I had terrible, terrible acne when I was in high school and I was, I, I was very, very self-conscious of that. And I was I was intimidated if you will, you know, even just trying to talk to girls or anything like that.
And the point I make is that at, at times throughout high school, I wasn’t sure I had a place where I fit. Because, you know, like I said, I was a decent athlete. I wasn’t one of the superstars and I certainly wasn’t one of the ladies, men, and [00:07:00] I also wasn’t part of the other crowd. I mean, back then we used to call them the burnouts you know, you know, the drug people and that sort of thing.
So I mean, I, I found my place, although I wasn’t absolutely sure. And, and again, actually, interesting. I’m just thinking about this right now. I wasn’t really sure who I was, what I was or where I wanted to go. And granted at 17, 18 years old, I’m not sure there are many people out there at all who can answer that question.
You know, I, I, when I, when I and, and, and actually, you know, interestingly. I think even, even then, and we’ll talk about this much more, even though I was a decent athlete, I was a decent student and all that. My self-esteem was still not probably where it should have been or could have been, and, or my confidence.
And I, [00:08:00] I applied early decision to Gettysburg college thinking there is no way in the world. These people are gonna take me. There is no way in the world. And I was stunned when I got in just absolutely stunned. And that’s where I did go to school and David again in interestingly, and this goes too, and we’re gonna get into this in more detail.
When I got to school, I realized instantly. Instantly. Wow, everybody here. And again, this is the story in my mind. Everybody here is smarter than I am. Everybody here is a better athlete than I am everybody here. I mean, it was, it was just very intimidating to me and I mean, I, I, I did. Okay. Freshman year.
I, I started to join a fraternity and at, at Gettysburg, [00:09:00] the Greek life if you were, if you were gonna have any sort of social life you needed to be in the Greek system, this was a college of 2000 kids and 85% joined fraternities, long story short. I J I started to join one and then, and then dropped out.
I was like, this is not for me. And man, I’ll tell you, I struggled. I J I struggled second semester of freshman year, just, just with my social life, because everybody was in a fraternity. And there were just very, very few people to hang out with same thing sophomore year, although sophomore year, second semester, I met some people at a fraternity where I was like, you know what?
I fit in better here. And that is where I, and that is I did join there and I have friends from that fraternity to this day people with whom I am still in touch academically, I was [00:10:00] decent, not great by any stretch of the imagination, you know? Right, right down the middle of the road and being a business major.
I took, you know, the, the typical courses and realizing too. And again, interestingly here, the ones were at the, the courses I enjoyed the most were the ones that were about people and the courses where I had the chance to interact with more people fast forward. Graduated and, you know, again, wasn’t absolutely sure what I wanted to do.
I had a liberal arts degree now and I was interviewing for a lot of different spots. And again, it’s not, it’s not always what, you know, it’s who, you know, and our family knew the executive vice president of human resources for one of the major banks in the area. And again, long story short, I talked to him, I [00:11:00] talked to the people on his team and he offered me a spot in HR.
And that’s where I began my career. First 10 years was a lot. Was it? It was fun. I mean, it really was. I got into, I did a lot of employment work. I did some compensation work. I was learning about benefits and things like that. And. I I actually, way back in the eighties, the banking mergers were coming fast and furious.
We got acquired and essentially it was time to move on. And a number of us started our own consulting firm. So we did that for about five years HR consulting, which was fine. And for a number of different reasons, we decided to close the doors. And at that point in time, David I, I, you know, denied it, no one that I was struggling, I was really struggling.
I was in the middle of a very, very [00:12:00] nasty divorce. And you know, I, I, I was drinking too much and things were just not going well. So I mean, from a personal side, things were really difficult and professionally, although I enjoyed HR, I, I just had that nagging. Is this really, what I would do is, is this really where I wanna be and to make and to, to start to combine some things here.
I got sober in January. I actually, the day I stopped was January 31st, 1993. And I will forever remember that day for a lot of different reasons. Number one it was super bowl Sunday and I am an enormous New York giant football fan. And so I remember, I’m sorry to hear that as a Patriot fan. So people say quite often, I’m just kidding.
I’m just [00:13:00] most often as I, I accept your condolences. Thank you. Hey, we lost Brady. So I can’t talk to these last couple years. and you know, I mean, I, I got sober and I, I, I believe very, very strongly. Everything happens for a reason, just everything happens for a reason. And I, one another, another philosophy that I have developed over the years is that I believe in just staying out of the results business and what I mean by that simply my job professionally, personally, whatever it might be is do do the groundwork, do what I need to do.
And you know, so a lot of people call it, control the controllables. Fine. I, I, I love the serenity prayer and just, you know, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change the courage [00:14:00] to change the things I can and to, and, and the wisdom to know the difference. And the reason I bring this up David, is that I had interviewed.
On three separate occasions with an insurance firm in Manhattan, they invited me back for the fourth interview and it was my understanding and my belief, all I needed to go back. I needed to meet with the EVP of HR to get his blessing. And that was gonna be that got there. I didn’t like him. He didn’t like me.
And it was just like, you know, You know, I, I, I don’t want to be here and leaving there. I was like, man, what is going on in my life? You know, and, and again, I had not yet adapted this philosophy of stay out of the results business. About a month later, I got a telephone call from a guy in Dallas, Texas. It was a recruiter and I was living with my parents at the time, cuz I had nowhere else to go.
[00:15:00] You know, like I said, I was getting divorced. I was newly sober. And this guy says to me, I’ve got an opportunity with Toshiba run. He said, the competencies they have are the exact opposite of what you are. They are looking for somebody who has a strong training background and who has some HR. You have a lot of HR and you’ve done some training.
I’m gonna get you in front of them. Your job run. Get them to flip their competencies. I interviewed with them. They flipped their competencies. I have been in training and development for the ne for 29 years now. And I have not looked back since, and that’s, that’s what I mean by stay out of the results business.
Because if I had gotten that job with the insurance company, Toba never would’ve happened. There’s something, there’s something better out there, Ron. There’s something better out there control what you can [00:16:00] control, do your best and all is. Well. I think that’s excellent advice and let’s slow down here because you just unpacked a lot of life.
And I know there’s more to go but how we’re raised makes us who we are. It doesn’t dam us to who we are, make it happen. Right. But it sets a direction and then we have to take effort, you know, Concerted effort to change and to vary. Yes, but I want to go through your story and hit some points. When you were a child, a teenager, you were saying, you know, confidence, you had acne, you know, you didn’t think you’d get into the college.
Were your parents supportive? Were they just let you do your own thing where they condemning? What was that relationship like within your home and with any siblings? I’m gonna I’ll start [00:17:00] essentially with the, with the siblings, Dave and there wasn’t there wasn’t, I mean, everybody was supportive except they were all so much older than I was that by the time I reached high school, I was the only one.
And my mom and dad were both supportive without a doubt. My, my dad, Dave was a top executive at at, at, at one of the electric companies here in New Jersey when he was working. And as I, as I look back and as I, and as I reflect, I realize now he was an absolute perfectionist. He demanded perfection from himself and he expected it from us.
And I think, I think there were a lot of different reasons for that. And, and, and actually as, as we go along, Dave, my, my [00:18:00] dad and I growing. We got along. Yeah, we did. We were never real, real close. And I think a lot of it for me at least, was that I never, I never, I always felt that there, I, I wasn’t doing enough for him, you know, I said, well, okay, you know, you, you, you, you played a good game tonight, except you, you probably could have scored, you know, another six points.
You missed those three shots, you know, whatever it might be. And, you know, even, you know, with my grades and just those kinds of things, I, I, I just felt like, what do you want? I, you know, I just don’t know what you want from me. And, and interestingly, I haven’t thought of this in years. I was home. I was home from college and it, it had to be very early on.
It was freshman or sophomore year. And my mom and dad were going out for the night. And my dad said, listen, I, I, I just got [00:19:00] some investment information. And he said, you know, it came in the mail and he said, well, we’re out tonight. He said, I want you to look this over. And he said, tomorrow, let’s talk about what you think I should do.
You know, with these particular investments I had had absolutely no training in that area whatsoever. I had had maybe an economics course or two. And I remember my dad saying the next day, well, what do you think? And I was like, dad, I don’t. He said, what do you mean? You don’t know? I gave you the information.
I was like, dad, it, it doesn’t matter that you gave me the information. I don’t know what, I don’t know. I mean, I, I, I just have no, I have no background in this. I mean, if you’ll help me with it and, and help me to understand it. Yeah. Then I’ll be glad to talk to you about it. I’ll be glad to help you with it.
And did he ever, when you were there, you, it [00:20:00] sounds like you were always trying to perform to his standards and you couldn’t reach it in your mind and you felt like you let him down and you felt like not, not good enough, is that correct? Is that what I’m hearing? David? That’s very accurate. Absolutely. So now, you know, there’s a lot of things we covered ground wise, so I don’t wanna skip, but you go to college and.
At first, it was kind of hard to find people to fit in with than you did. But when did the alcoholism start and why do you think you might be able to look back now and say why, but what were you trying to fill? What were you running from? Cuz our listeners, we can have the same problems you had. So we want to get into, what was your kind of motivation to medicate with alcohol and then what were the steps you took to get out of?
Dave, Dave. I, I, [00:21:00] I think, I think it was, again, I’m gonna go back to what I talked about in early on in that I just, I never felt good enough or I never believed I was good enough. And when I was drinking, that was when, okay, now I can talk. Now I have the courage to speak up now, you know, now, now I have something to offer.
And when did that start in earnest? Probably probably my junior year in college. And you know, it’s, it’s interesting because I, I, I laugh now and it. Whatever. My, my friend, Rob Erman was a fraternity brother. And I remember him saying one night we were, we were just sitting around the beer PNK table. And he had said to us, you know what, Jersey, that was my nickname in school.
There are a bunch of us in this house that drink an awful lot. [00:22:00] He said, most of us are just gonna be able to stop. And we’ll be fine when we get outta school. He said, I bet you, there are a couple of us that are gonna have problems and not knowing that I was one of the ones that was gonna have a real problem.
And I mean, and you know, that that continued and, you know, actually today it’s important to understand, at least for me, my, I think I’m pretty sure it was my senior. Gettysburg had an alcohol counselor go to every fraternity. She gave a presentation and just said, you know, let me just ask you, you know, everybody who’s here, these 10 questions or 12 questions, whatever it was, and she’s going through the questions and they were all, yes, no.
And as she was asking the questions, I was thinking to myself, I’m answering yes to almost every single one of these questions. And that’s scary. And I [00:23:00] was, I deep down, I think I, I knew there was problem and I, or there was a problem growing and I was still so far from ready from being ready to ask for help.
It just, it just wasn’t gonna happen. So I mean, I, I’ll be glad to fill in any more gaps that I can. No, no, I just wanna make sure we’re setting the stage. For not just what happened, but what set you up for that failure? Yeah, sure. That, that difficulty, that obstacle. And then now as we progress through your life, how you overcame it.
So now you went ahead, you got this great job. You’re loving way, what you’re doing. You’re coming off of a divorce and you decide to get clean. At what point during this process, I was, I was 33 years old [00:24:00] and I, David, I I’ll tell you, I, I said to you I got sober January 31st, 1993. I woke up that morning, hung over.
I mean, searingly and I didn’t get hung over that much. And it was super bowl Sunday. I was supposed to go to a super bowl party at my friend, pat Lu’s house. And I remember the first conscious thought I had that morning waking up was I only have a couple today. I’ll only have a couple, I’ll be okay at, at, at, at quarter to 11 that morning.
First of all, my PA my parents, you know, saw how drunk I had been the night before. And I didn’t even remember that I’m laying in bed at quarter to 11. My mom and dad are there. And both of them, particularly my dad, you’re going to detox. You know, you’re a drunk, God damnit, you know, you’re a drunk, you need help.
Quarter to 11, [00:25:00] David. I still had in my mind, okay, something’s terribly wrong with me. I’m in trouble. I can still do this on my own. And at 10 to 11, five minutes later, I said to my mom, I can’t do this. And she looked at me like, what do you mean? And I was like, mom, I need help. I can’t do this. I just cannot do this.
And you know, my, my, we, we talked about it and, and said, you know, both of them said you need to go away. And I was like, I think so. Yes. And David, again, it, it, it’s funny now. It wasn’t, it wasn’t at the time my dad said to me, okay. He said, you know, I know of some places, do you wanna call them or do you want me to call them?
And I was like, dad, I don’t think I’m capable of making a telephone call right now. I would appreciate if you would do it. And he did. And, and, and, you know, thank God. [00:26:00] And you know, the, the one significant thing for me too, David, is that, you know, I, I went to a place called, called the the carrier foundation here in New Jersey.
And the one thing they, they told my dad on the phone, when he called said, yes, we have a bed for him. The only thing is. That he’s gonna have to spend the first, I think it was two, maybe three, whatever he’s gonna have to spend the first two or three nights in the psychiatric ward, because we don’t have any beds in, in the alcohol award.
And, and he said to me, you, are you okay with that? I was like, I don’t care. That’s fine. And I’ll tell you what I watched. You know, I said it was super bowl Sunday. I watched the game, the game was over and the psychiatric ward was in a different building and where I had watched the game. So we walked over to the other building and I was with another guy and the door closed and I’m standing there and I [00:27:00] was like, I’m locked in I’m I I’m locked in.
This is what it has come to. And you know, I I’ll tell you the, the following morning. Something very significant happened. And I didn’t realize how significant it was at the time. Got, you know, you know you know, got with all the other patients, somebody was leaving, somebody had finished the program and Luine the counselor said, everybody here needs to say goodbye too.
And I, I don’t remember the guy’s name. I’ll call him Tom. She said, the only thing is you are not permitted to say good luck because luck has nothing to do with your recovery. And I’m sitting there and I was like, what am I gonna say to this guy? What can I possibly say to this guy? And I, what I ended up saying to him, I don’t remember it [00:28:00] verbatim essentially was I hope I look as good as you do when you leave.
And, and more importantly, I wish you well, and my point is now, I, I, I never ever wish people luck now, no matter what it is, because luck has nothing to do with anything it’s all about, again, circling back to stay out of the results business. Ron, do your groundwork, do the footwork. The results will be what the results will be.
Luck has absolutely nothing to do with it. Yeah, I think that’s good advice. I mean, biblically we’re to do our best. Always give everything. We can a hundred percent, but the results come from God and you, me, every listener out there, if you really reflect on life there’s times where we’ve done our best and failed miserably.
That’s right. And other times where we [00:29:00] smooch the pooch and did everything wrong. And we had huge return. Right. But that’s just because God’s good. Not because we’re good. So that’s right. I think, I think that is great advice to stay outta the results business. That’s not our business. We’re not even supposed to think about, you know, if we get called to do something or we have a goal, it’s not even our job sometimes to figure out how just start doing it and it’ll work itself out.
Yes. That’s what well, and, and, and God, God does for me, what I cannot do for myself. Yep. And, and, and David, for me, again, if we can circle back to the interview I had with that insurance company with, you know, with that guy not liking me and just everything else that was God doing for me, what I could not do for myself.
I didn’t know it at the time I do now. And I understand it fully now I get it. And I’m enormously grateful for that. Yeah. Now let me ask you a question. If you don’t [00:30:00] mind. Being transparent helps us all to understand and connect, but I know there’s also things in our lives. We may not wanna discuss, but your marriage was the alcoholism, a steady progression.
It got worse and worse and worse and worse, or was it kind of under control. And then when you hit the divorce, it just threw you out of balance. How did the, well, first off, how did the alcoholism affect the marriage? And then how did the divorce affect the alcoholism? The, the alcoholism was in place when we started dating.
It wasn’t, it wasn’t outrageous. I mean, it was, it was bad. It was, it was bad enough that I knew I had a problem, although I was trying to hide it from her. And there were a couple times she said I, I think even when we were dating and ear shortly after we were married, I wish he wouldn’t drink so much.
And David I’ll tell you what, what, what ended [00:31:00] up happening was my my ex-wife is from St. Louis and long story short. I ended up moving out to St. Louis to live with my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law because Kathy wanted to relocate back out there. And I was okay with that. I was gonna go out there, find a.
And as soon as I found a job, she would follow from New Jersey. She would resign from her position here and follow. And when I got out to St. Louis is when things just got absolutely out of control very, very quickly. And that was scary. I mean, that was really, really scary for me. And, and for those struggling, well, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry, there’s a delay in our, our feed finish what you were saying.
No, no, no. I, I, I was saying that it was scary for me and actually even I’m, I’m not sure I wanna see even [00:32:00] more importantly, maybe equally as important. It was horrible for them. I mean, these poor people, I mean, this guy comes out here and is like, this guy’s nuts. You know, what, what is. Doing and I mean, what I put them through is something that I, to this day I still feel badly about.
I mean, I’ve made my amends and, and that’s good. I still feel badly about that. Now let’s do this. Now you moved out there, you were married at that point, but you did not have children, correct? Correct. Okay. A lot of people don’t even realize it, but they’re running for the problems. It doesn’t sound like necessarily you were doing that there.
That was just how life kind of led you. But a lot of people are running. And what I found is when you run, it catches up and it’s usually worse. So running is not a good idea. You gotta face in with God and, and go after it, you know? But you know what though, Dave? I, I I’m, I’m I’m gonna say I was running. Oh, you’re running.
Okay. [00:33:00] I I, I was running and, and, and I, I still remember PE you know, people saying you are at run you’re, you’re, you’re trying a geographic lo relocation, and it’s not gonna work. It’s not gonna work. And I, I had it in my mind, David, as clear as day as I sit here with you right now, I can tell you, I had it in my mind.
When I get out there, I’m gonna stop. When I get out there, it’s gonna be a fresh start. It’s gonna be okay. And I was absolutely running. Absolutely. I was okay, then let’s do this. If you don’t mind tapping in and digging deep for the listeners right now, struggling. And they’re thinking now there is some truth to moving away from people.
Like if you’re in a terrible upbringing and everybody around you is just toxic and you know, you are in relationships with people that surround you. Sometimes when you’re cleaning up, you do move for that kind of reason. But the [00:34:00] motivation and mindset is totally different than running. So when we’re talking about running to our, our community around the world, what happened?
Cuz you said things got worse. So for those listening right now and thinking I’m ready to run, tell them what they’re two, what they’re gonna run into Satan runs the same playbook over and over again. I don’t care if you’re in India. I don’t care if you’re in Ireland. I don’t care if you’re in, I don’t, you know, Samoa it’s, you’re going to follow.
You’re gonna have the same issues. It’s the same play run over and over again by Satan in our lives. So what did you run into so people know what to expect if they run David, the, the, the disease, the disease is chronic. It’s progressive and it’s fatal. And I mean, I, I, I just, I, I just, I could not stop drinking.
I mean, I, I just couldn’t, I, I was drinking probably about a, [00:35:00] about maybe a pint a day, a little bit more than that when I got out there and I shot up to a court a day so fast and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse. And, and actually the, the one thing I will tell you about, and, and again, this is something that is significant for me, and I hope it can help the listeners too.
Things were not going well out there. Clearly things were not going well. And I desperately wanted to talk to my wife about it at the time. I just, I just, I wanted to tell her what was going on. And I kept saying to myself, I’ll talk to her tomorrow about it. I’ll talk to her tomorrow. And then I would start drinking because I wanted to have the courage to talk to her and I would, and, and then I’d be too drunk to bring it up or, you know, whatever it might be.
And the point I make simply is whatever it is I’m running from is still there. The next day, it’s still there. And [00:36:00] the, the pro and for me, it was just getting worse and worse. And I was digging myself deeper and deeper and deeper, and the, the same problem for which I was running and, you know, over which I was drinking still existed.
So I, it was, I mean, it, it is just pure insanity, just pure and simple. All right. So now let’s get to the point where between your birth and when you were checked into the clinic. Yeah. Is there anything that we missed that’s significant that’s gonna tie into your recovery or moving forward to today? Or did we cover everything?
I think we got it all. Okay. I, I just don’t wanna miss any key elements. all right. So now let’s do this. You’re at this facility. It’s super bowl Sunday, you spend the first three nights in the psychiatric ward, which I worked in a [00:37:00] psychiatric mental health facility as a teenager, as a janitor. Okay. It was freaking nuts and I’m not being rude.
I mean, it’s, it was crazy. And then the nurses start becoming crazy cuz they deal with it all day, right? Yeah. It’s just, it spreads, it’s like corrections you’re in prisons and the corrections officers really struggle because they’re around just dysfunction all day. Right. So now you’re there for three days and I’m sure you’re really reflecting on life at this point.
So from there, what’s your journey or recovery look like Ron. Oh, you know what some something, something else that was really, really significant for me while I was at carrier. And that was we at, at the end of every day. Each evening, we would go to an AA meeting. So we went to the meeting, we came back four or five of us, however many, we were sitting in the kitchen, [00:38:00] just sitting around, you know, talking and everything else.
And David, we were just absolutely roaring roaring with laughter to the point where the nurse actually left her station and came in to, to not to check on us just to, she was laughing because she could hear us. And I was, I still remember, she said, you guys are out of control and I had to conscious thought at that point, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, I can laugh.
I can be, I can be funny. I can have fun without being blotted. This is, this is significant. Yep. And I still remember that to this day and it was so important and, and I’ve learned that. Is that, you know, I can, I, I can do things I can go anywhere. I can do anything as long as my motivations [00:39:00] are pure. And I mean, I can, I can start to take you through my, my recovery, Dave.
I mean, just first of all, I, I will say this has been the absolute greatest gift and the greatest blessing of my life. There’s, there’s absolutely positively no doubt about that because without my being sober, I am, I’m not in the career. I am equally as important. I have been married for over 21 years now.
I got very close with my dad over the years and, and, you know, just, just had some incredibly, incredibly touching moments with him when he was sick. And, you know, my, my mom died two years ago and just, you know, the, the, the time I’ve been a, I was able to spend with her the relationships that I have formed with, you know, with my nieces, with my nephews, [00:40:00] with, with my wife’s family.
And, and just the, you know, again, the, the career that I’ve had has been just mind blowing to me. And it was always something I wanted to get into. And I remember again, when I was drinking God, I would love to get into training. I think I’d be good at that. And now at the, you know, that’s not a, that’s not a drunken, you know, wish if you will, it’s reality, this is what I do, and I’m good at it.
And I have fun with it. And I can say that, and I can say it proudly, and I can say it confidently, not arrogantly. You know, I’m not, that gets me out. I’m good. And I’m, you know, I’m, I strive to get better. well, that’s and that’s intriguing because that’s exactly people are like, how do I stop drinking? How do I stop drinking?
I think I might have even phrased it like that. You know? How do I beat alcoholism? But the real question isn’t how do you stop drinking? Or how do you beat alcoholism? Cuz you’re [00:41:00] really just medic it could be porn. It could be injecting heroin. It could be anything. You could be eating donuts. I mean, medicating pains, medicating pain, sleeping too much.
Right? So let’s get to the real heart of the issue. How did Ron fulfill his heart and his mind to know you are good enough? What steps did you take? So our listeners can to, if you were counseling somebody or coaching somebody and you’re trying to help them get started on the journey of inner healing to know they are good enough.
Yep. What would you say to. I’m gonna go back, Dave, the first comment or to the first question you asked me, what advice would you give someone? And that is to get to know yourself. And I have gotten to know myself really, really well over the years. And when I first got sober, I started to learn, Hey, this is who I am.
This is what [00:42:00] I believe in. These are the things I’m good at. And I, and it it’s interesting, Dave, because I needed the help of other people and I needed the encouragement from other people to help for them. I, I needed them to help me learn that I was a good guy, that I was a good person and that, you know what, Ron?
Yeah. You make mistakes. And I did, you know, I have, I did. And I mean, I, I think, you know, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll go back because, you know, I had been, I had been sober, Dave, I don’t know, I I’m gonna say about the 8, 8, 9 months, something like that. And I mean, I’ll, I can get into the details if you want. It’s I don’t think it’s necessary, whatever.
I made a really, really dumb mistake at work, just really dumb. And, and you know what, I, I will, I will tell you not it’s again, it’s not that I’m embarrassed. Just whatever [00:43:00] I was doing. I was doing a training session, a five day training session, and I didn’t know the material as well as I should have.
And actually, you know what? This is relevant. I’m sorry. I said, I’m not gonna tell you the details. no worries. Hey, that just should, we’re all human telling a story. So just keep going, brother. The five day, a five day training session. I didn’t know the material as well as I should have. And I deny that to no one on, on the morning of day, two, two people from Philadelphia walked out, you don’t know what you’re doing were outta here about an hour and a half later, I got a telephone call from Tony Koani, who was my boss’s boss.
Tony was out in California and Tony ripped me to Shredz and rightly so, because I had made a dumb mistake. And the point I make is all of a sudden, this was probably the biggest quote unquote crisis that I had faced in my [00:44:00] early sobriety. Because you know, now it’s like, I can’t medicate this. I, I can’t medicate this and I, you know, I say, what do I do?
What do I do? And, you know, I ended up talking to people within my network and just having them tell me, Ron, first of all, can you, can you change the fact that you made this mistake? No. Okay. That part is uncontrollable. You know, that part of the serenity prayer is done. Okay. What can you control how I react to it?
What I do moving forward. And I, Dave, I vowed from that day forward, and this is probably the start, even though I didn’t quite realize it at the time. That was the start I, I vowed, I will never walk into a classroom unprepared again, ever. I’m not gonna do it. And I never did. I, I haven’t. And I never will because I never wanna go through that again, ever.
And, you know, [00:45:00] again, what was interesting too though, is I was working for Toshiba at the time. And this so many years ago, this was I was in the copier and fax division. We didn’t have we didn’t sell our equipment directly to the end users. We had a network of dealers do it. And these two, you know, people from Philadelphia worked for a dealership there.
Art was the name of the president of this dealership. And to, you know, he was saying to me, I will never ever send anybody to Toshiba training. Again, you, people are no good. You don’t know what you’re doing and talk to him. And I was like, art. I. I get it. This is on me. It was my fault. I made a huge mistake.
Number one, I hope you’ll send people to other Toshiba training. And if you’ll give me one more chance, let me tell you what I’ll do. You can send your people to, to one of my [00:46:00] classes for free. Well, you know, I won’t charge you and I will prove to you that I know what I’m doing, and that it’s worth the investment for your people to come long story, short art.
And I became friends over the years and that’s something of which I’m really proud and clearly, and, and, you know, E equally as important, Dave. No. And you know what, not equally as important, much more importantly, actually I didn’t drink, I didn’t drink. And I realized, Hey, you know what? I can deal with things.
I can do these things. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not fun. It’s not easy. And, and, and again, I denied an one. I didn’t sleep well for a couple of nights and you know what, those are called consequences to behavior. And, you know, and again, I’ve, I’ve learned that over the years where it’s like, yeah, when I do, when I make a mistake or if I do something dumb, there are gonna be consequences.
And that’s okay. As long [00:47:00] as I’ve done my best, like what we were talking about earlier. Yeah. That’s great advice. And that’s thank you for your transparency. And I’m sure it wasn’t hard and it wasn’t comfortable, but you took a terrible situation, gave it your best. God took care of the results. And now this man’s your friend.
That’s right from that. And period, before that, he would’ve spit on you. If he saw you in the street. and now you guys are buddies. So let’s do this pretend I’m an alcoholic. And I’m a functional alcoholic. I’m going to work every day. It’s getting worse though. And I’m starting to fall apart by the scenes.
What do you tell me, Ron, to help me?
Number one? How, how, how willing are you to accept some help? I’m ready. I I’m, you know, and it’s that half. I wanna do it, but am I I’m on the fence? Like, do I wanna put the effort in, in my heart? You know, like I’m [00:48:00] telling people I’m ready, but what about in my heart? I’m, I’m kind of on the fence. I’m afraid to give up.
Cuz if I give up the alcohol, I feel the pain and I don’t wanna feel the pain. I I’ll tell you what I, I can, I can tell you a story. I, I give you an actual story. I was talking to, I, I was sober for, I don’t know, three, four years. Maybe a little bit longer than that, whatever you’re right, right around that timeframe.
I was talking to my friend, Rick Moran on the phone who had been in and out in and out and in and out of of the program, talking to him on the phone, he was drunk. And the program being double a alcoholics anonymous, correct? Yes. Yes. Okay. I was, I think that’s a fantastic program personally. I got a master’s in counseling and I actually attended AA meetings and it was one of those meetings.
I thought I don’t care. What kind of addiction you have? This is good for everybody. Even people who don’t really have addictions, this is good life knowledge. I really enjoyed the program. [00:49:00] Yeah. Well, and Dave, you know what, I it’s, I, I, I, I, I need to only speak for myself because of the traditions of AA, you know, we’re to be anonymous at the level of press radio and films.
I speak for myself when I say AA saved my life. Absolutely positively. Unequivocally AA saved my life. And I was talking with Rick on the phone and he was drunk and I was like, okay, Rick, here’s the deal. I’m hanging up in 10 seconds. That is going to happen. That’s what’s gonna happen in 10 seconds. What happens after that is up to you because I’m not outrageously busy at work today.
And if you want, I will come get you and I will, I will, will find a detox for you. I’ll take you to detox or you can drink more. What do you wanna do? I wanna drink more. Okay. [00:50:00] Goodbye, Rick. And that was that. And, and the, and again, please, Dave, please realize I, I speak for myself when I say I will help anybody out there.
Anybody who is willing to accept the help. I do not chase people. I will not do that. I don’t believe in that. If, if people, if people wanna experiment more, if people wanna do more R and D go ahead. I wish you well now I don’t wish you luck again. Cause luck has nothing to do with it. I wish you, well, here’s what you can expect.
It’s gonna get worse and it’s gonna get really, really ugly. And if you ever need the help, feel free to reach out because you know, and again, I don’t wanna say necessarily, cuz I think this, I think it would be arrogant to say I’ll be there for you. The help is out there. The help is out there through the program through a lot of, you know, through other areas.
It’s there [00:51:00] if people want it and that’s if yeah, and I think so step one is be real. Do you want the help right now? That’s right. That’s right. Step two is get into a reputable license detox. Where you can start the healing process and physically get it outta your system. Yeah. And then with what you’re saying, if you’re listening to Ron and you know, we come at this, we have listeners all over the world.
You have a different world view. I mean, from the biblical model, there’s times where there’s always exceptions, but the standard rule is if somebody wants to engage in sin and leaves, let ’em go. Not that you don’t love ’em or care. That’s right. They’re not gonna change until they want to. That’s right.
And it like Ron, myself and you as a listener, if you’ve managed people, you can give me a [00:52:00] hundred people who are a stars, but if they don’t wanna learn, I don’t want them as an employee. But if you gimme a bunch of B people who are willing to learn even a C person, and what I mean by is like the talent level.
Like they just got natural God given ability, you know, they’re good, but they got refinement. These people really don’t have talent. I would much rather have a hundred people who are C willing to learn, because they’re gonna outperform consistently for the rest of their life than the A’s who are arrogant.
So what you’re saying, I believe from a biblical and from a practical standpoint lines up. Yeah. So now you got somebody who didn’t want the help at that point. Yes. That could be some of our listeners right now. They they’re both to shut off this episode or they could be wise and finish the episode. So to those people, they’re like, no, I am ready.
Where do you go from there? There are so many different areas, Dave. I mean, there truly are, you know, like you said, and again, I [00:53:00] speak only for myself here. Yes. Speak with your experience. What helped Ron? What helped you on your journey? I, I do not think I could have gotten sober without going to a facility.
I don’t think I could have just gone come off the street and gone to AA. I, I needed the structure. I needed the education. I, I just, I needed that stability. I needed those 26 days. So I mean, if there, if, if that’s the position where somebody is, goodness, look for a facility, just, you know, look, look for a facility.
And again, all I can say is my experience with carrier, which was AA based. Was fabulous. Just fabulous. If, if you believe it, or if any listeners believe you can come in just off the street and you want to, you know, you wanna start going to AA meetings. My God, I mean, AA is so [00:54:00] welcoming, just so welcoming.
And I do know people who have done that, who have come in off the street and who have gotten sober. I’m not one of them. And I admire anybody who can do that. I personally, Dave, I believe it’s one of the most courageous things that anybody can ever do in their life is to come in off the street and say, my name is so and so I’m an alcoholic and I need help.
I, I can’t imagine, I, I can’t think of anything more courageous than. I really can. Yeah. And the, the difference is they just, for anybody listening with friends or family yourself, it’s just, you gotta really want it to start. Yes. But I’m gonna say this, cuz again, I, I believe in Christ, I believe the Bible and I remember gut saved when I was 15 and going to church and a lot of people in Christian circles, badmouth, alcoholics anonymous, [00:55:00] and I’m not saying it’s perfect, but I personally, like I said, I don’t remember if it was five weeks or eight weeks, but part of my curriculum was to attend these meetings.
And they were biblically sound and I’m gonna be blunt. There was probably some more biblically sound doctrine than there was in some churches today. So I’m like for those who are judging, good judgment is biblical judging is unbiblical. I’m just saying personally, Ron’s saying personally alcoholics anonymous was phenomenal and it helps people.
And I know today I was with a client. This dude is a multimillionaire. He went through alcoholics anonymous in Pensacola. There’s a gentleman that’s super popular and helped, you know, he’s reshaping the downtown and he’s making money, but he’s really put a lot into the C. He went through alcoholics [00:56:00] anonymous.
So it’s not for poor. It’s not for rich. It’s not for fat. It’s not for fit it’s for people who are trying to get their lives. Right. And if you’ve bashed the program, but you haven’t really done the research, shut your mouth, go check it out and then make a call. But that’s right. I’m I’m saying this because there’s so many people that need help and they hear in their head, oh, this is bad.
If you’re a Christian, you don’t go there. If you’re a Christian, you don’t go. What, what, where does that come from? Go? Just, just, just, just go. And, you know, I think a, a lot of, you know, some, sometimes people also think, oh, AA is a religious program. No, it’s not, no, it’s not. It is spiritual. It is spiritual. I, I grew up in a, in a, in a very religious family church every Sunday, undoubtedly, you know, Sunday school and everything that goes along with that.
And [00:57:00] it, it, while, while I, while I believed it and I still do today, it never really resonated with. I am so spiritual today and I have a deeper, stronger relationship with the God of my understanding today and who just happens to be. And again, I speak for myself, the, the traditional God, I have such an incredible relationship with that person today.
And, you know, it’s it. And it’s it. It’s just, I don’t know. It, it’s just so gratifying. And I mean, Dave, for, for me, again, staying out of the results business, you know, as be before we before you came on with me today, what I believe in doing, and I did it right before you came on, as I got, this is out of my hands.
This podcast is gonna go the way it’s gonna go. Just your will be [00:58:00] done. Please. Just help me. Just, you need me to do. And that makes it so much easier instead of me sitting here looking at my notes, well, I may gotta make this point and oh my God made sure I say this. It’s like, no, just do the groundwork be ready and it will go the way it’s supposed to.
Yep. And when we, on this side, we don’t really know each other and I’m praying the same type of prayer. God, please, you know, help, whatever we discuss to me, be led by your holy spirit and help with the glorify you and bring our listeners value and help in life. It’s like, that’s how God works through us.
We, you know, we’re in different parts of the country, the world, but we have the same father. And yeah man, I appreciate you talking about this cause it’s such a difficult issue. And again, it’s not just alcoholism it’s any addiction goes back to the core. Yours were feelings of not being good. And I’m sure [00:59:00] other things and for our listeners, it’s the same thing.
Maybe just a different color. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, oh, no doubt. Yeah. So now between your birth and now you get, you get through the program, you’re doing well, you give the illustration about failing miserably with the training, but without going back to the addiction, you learn to correct it. And now you and this gentleman are friends.
So from there to today, where does Ron’s journey go? You know, it has, it has taken me in so many different areas, Dave, I mean, both personally and professionally I’ll start, I’ll start with the personal piece first. There was, there was a woman in the program named Mary who, when I first met her. I, I just instantly liked her.
I respected her. I, you know, I always liked what she said. I always listened carefully to what she shared about. [01:00:00] And I was around for maybe, I don’t know, 3, 4, 5 years, whatever it was. And she, she was come. She started to come to me. Hey, Ron, I’ve got this niece. Her, her name is Lori. If you’re interested, I was like, Mary, thanks.
It’s okay. You know? No, no, no. Thank you. And she was persistent without being a pain. She came to me. I, I, I had, I had a relationship had ended. Mary came to me again. My niece is still out there and I was like, Mary, I need some time to. I, I, I, I, I’m not ready yet. At some point in time, I might be, I went to her about nine, 10 months later.
Is your niece still out there? Yes. And the woman that I mentioned earlier to you that, you know, to whom I’ve been happily married for 21 years is Mary’s niece. man, look at that. Yeah. That’s so fantastic. So [01:01:00] you’re in a program. I give you the wisdom not to jump into it and you end up not only getting clean, but finding the love of your life.
That’s right. And I mean, we, you know, we’ve, we’ve been happy for 21 years and, you know, the, the, the things that have gone on with us, the, the adventures that we have had, the wonderful, wonderful memories we’ve had. I mean, we have, we have traveled to some incredible places, you know, I mean, we’ve been to Europe countless times before the pandemic.
And just for me, I, I, I, I think I, our best adventure in my. Was to Africa where we spent 16 days. And again, you know, thinking back is that I was a poor, hopeless trunk, and now we’ve been to Europe countless times. I we’ve been to Africa. I, I became David. And again, actually through the program, I became a giant season [01:02:00] ticket holder 26 years ago.
And that’s been all kinds of fun and, you know, all, all kidding aside through the wonderful years, we’ve had the terrible years, we’ve had the, you know, the people in our group are, are we are, we have such a wonderful bond and they, and again, they know I’m sober and you know, we kid about. Because they all drink and that’s fine.
You know, I have no issue with that. And, you know, they, they have all said, Ron, if we ever ever see you going anywhere near a drink, you will never make it into the stadium alive because we’ll kill you first. Nope. And those are good friends. That’s right. That that’s exactly right. You know, and I mean, from a, from a career perspective, I mean, I was, I, I mean, I, I was doing sales training in the beginning and I am so proud to be able to say, I mean, I’ve worked in leadership [01:03:00] development for a long time.
Now I have presented to the executive committee of the port authority of New York and New Jersey. I have presented to a number of other executive committees. And, and, and again, I cannot deny and I will not deny was I nervous doing that? Absolutely. And you know what? I was prepared, I was ready to do this, stay out of the results business.
It’s it’s gonna go the way it’s supposed to. And, you know, I think one, one of the other things, Dave too, you know, because I, you know, we were, we’ve been talking quite a bit about feeling, feeling inadequate, not, you know, not, you are being less than however you wanna phrase it. And I have learned over the years where it’s like Ron, Ron, Ron, you have something to offer.
You bring good stuff to the table. And I need to remember that after all of these [01:04:00] years, It’s stills like, oh, and you know, am, am I adequate? Or, you know, is this gonna, you know, do they really, you know, need what I’m about to, you know, share with them? Yes. Do
what do they say? I’m when somebody gets called lucky, it’s like, it’s funny, the harder I prepare the, the luckier I get. Right. That’s right. that’s right. So, and just to touch up on this one more subject too, because you’re hearing Ron’s results and we’re gonna transition into the final stage of where is Ron today and where is he heading?
But I really care about our listeners and I want to make sure this point is like crystal clear, all truth comes from. And alcoholics anonymous. I’m not saying it’s a silver bullet, but I am saying it helps a ton of people. I’m saying I personally went through some meetings [01:05:00] and read the literature. And like Ron mentioned, it’s not a religious organization.
It’s spiritual. Some people get turned off by that if they come from conservative backgrounds. But what I want you to understand is the original founders were believers in Christ. And then over time they actually started changing it because they wanted people who weren’t in a religious circle to feel more welcome.
So you can argue about that. Yes or no, but alcoholics anonymous ultimately helps people and it can help you too. Just give it a chance. And if you’re a strong Bible believer, every time it mentions the universe of the creator or however, they phrase it in their literature. A lot of times they just straight up say God, but don’t get all bent outta shape, outta details.
The moat and the beam. You know, don’t get upset about the moat right now when you get a beam in your life. Right. So just, I wanted to make sure we clarified that it’s not a satanic program. It’s a godly program from everything I’ve [01:06:00] seen. Yes. And that, that everything you’re saying, Dave is spot on. Just spot, spot on.
Yeah. I just want to help because there’s so many there’s things we hear in church that aren’t true biblically and there’s things that people are told outside of church. That aren’t true. And just try to clarify what we can to help each other. Yeah. So now Ron, life’s change. You meet the love of your life.
Business is good between again, the beginning of your life. And today, is there anything we missed or are we ready to transition to where’s Ron today? And where are you?
No. I mean, there, there are so many other stories I could tell, except we’ve, we’ve covered the major points. Undoubtedly. I mean, I, I, I think, I think you have, I hope you have a, a good idea of who I am and what I am, and I hope obviously the listeners do too, so yeah. I’m, I’m ready. All [01:07:00] right then. So where is Ron today and where are you heading?
You just helped us. How can we help you now? Well, I mean, where, where am I heading? I am, I am 62 and I am nowhere near ready to retire. I I’m, I’m just not, I love what I do. I have a lot of fun with it and I mean, I, I, I just, I wanna be able to continue to make a difference in people’s lives. However, I can do that, whether it is professionally, whether it’s personally, whatever it might be.
I wanna be able to do that as long as I possibly am able to. And, you know, it’s, it’s interesting because. When, you know, my, my mom died, it’ll be two years in September and she was 99. And, and Dave, you want to talk about a woman of strong faith? I [01:08:00] my mom was just, and just an amazing woman. She, she knew that she was dying and you know, she, she, you know, she, she told all of the siblings on a number of different occasions.
I’m ready. I’m not afraid. I miss your dad. I’m going to heaven. Everything is, you know, everything is fine. It’s just a matter of, you know, when, when is God going to take me? And she told me on a number of different occasions, it’s taking long it’s, it’s taking long. And the point I make is my response to her was mom, you’ve got something left to.
Yes, you amen. Contribute. There’s still something there, mom, that you’re going to contribute either to me, to us, to, you know, to other human beings. And I believe that, and she still did that. And I mean, the, you know, the, that, that’s the kind of legacy I would like [01:09:00] to leave is just to continue to make a difference, continue to make a difference.
However, I can, again, whether it’s through profe, professionally in training and development, whether it’s through helping people to recover, like, like you said, whether it’s alcohol, whether it’s food, whatever the addiction is, if I can make a difference, that’s what I wanna be able to do. Awesome. Now, if somebody wants to get a hold of you, Ron, we’re gonna put links in the show notes, but what’s the best way to people to reach you?
Probably the, the best way to reach me is through my LinkedIn page. And that that is just very simply my name, Ron Reich, and my company name is R L B training and development go to LinkedIn and you can reach me there if anybody wants to reach out to me directly. My email is simply R dot Rike, R E I C two [01:10:00] six.
And anyone can feel free to, to reach out for whatever reason, you know, again, professionally, personally and you know, the, the one thing here, Dave too, that’s so important to me that it, I so want the listeners to understand anybody that reaches out to me. Number one, I promise I will get back to you.
The other promise I make is, is that you are not gonna get a sales pitch. You’re not, you’re not gonna get a, a professional sales pitch. You’re also not gonna get a personal sales pitch. I will happily spend time with you. I’ll happily talk with you. And if there’s anything there where it’s appropriate for us to perhaps work together or where I can help you in any way, I’ll do it.
I’m not. And again, the point is I wanna talk to you. Well, that is awesome. That is a fantastic offer. If you’re [01:11:00] listening now, need help, take up. Ron’s offer. And like our slogan says, ladies and gentlemen, don’t just listen to this great content and advice Ron gave you, but do it, repeat it each day. So you can have a remarkable life in this world and more importantly for eternity to come.
So I’m David PA Balone. This was Ron Reich. And you were, you. Go do your best. Like Ron said, if you’re still on this earth and you’re still breathing, God loves you and has a plan for you. So finish the race, keep growing, keep preparing. You’re never lucky. You’re just prepared when the opportunity comes and let us know how we can help you, Ron.
Thank you again for being here today, brother David. It’s been my pleasure truly. Thank you. Oh, anytime ladies and gentlemen share this episode with your friends, the loved ones, even [01:12:00] strangers, not to promote our show, but to help the world grow for God’s glory and for your benefit, have a great one. We’ll see you in the next episode.